Hi everyone ,
I didn't really feel like exercising today but I made myself go. To be honest , I always have and probably always will feel an inherent dislike for exercising, I think a lot of it comes from being disabled and always feeling incredibly inadequate when it came to P.E or any form of exercise, even though I did like dancing.
but today something was very off, yesterday was a horrible day, and there were 4-5 people in the swimming lane (theres only one at the pool,) and doing lengths in the rest of the pool is kinda tricky. In the end I only ended up doing about 16 lengths, when In the time I normally allotted myself on Tuesdays I would've done 30 or so.
The thing that made me get out though was when I think I had a panic attack, but in water. ( not fun at all) can mood affect exercise? because I think it may have today.
Yesterday was a bad day, my mother has given my childhood sexual abuser my phone number and he tried to contact me so I had to sort all that out. and I think it put me on guard today.
I'm still happy that I did something at least, but not as well as I could've done

Honey give yourself a massive break! The fact that you did any exercise after someone that sexually assaulted you as a child tried to contact you is a miracle. I would contact the police if he tries to contact you again! You don't have to talk to him! He has no right in the world trying to speak to you! You did great working out at all. I would have curled up in a ball and hid under the covers. You did awesome. Congratulations to you on working out.
And in case you need one here's a hug! or two!