For years ive been all or nothing and gotten nowhere.

This time around i have some very basic aims for myself.
1. Eat foods that will nourish my body
2. have some very occasional treats
3. "always take the stairs" (figuratively and literally) when i can i.e. get moving more in my everyday life
4. take more classes at the gym as being social helps me
5. get to bed before midnight unless its a special occasion
6. find things other than food that i can do in times of need
7. try something new every month
8. learn to listen to my bodies needs rather than wants as they arent always compatible.


I hope to lose at least 40lbs this year by focusing not on the loss itself but all the things ill gain along the way.

has anyone any ideas for me or thoughts/words of encouragement?
do you think ill be able to lose without losing myself?

Damn. Answered once and the system ate it

I think your sensible approach sounds very realistic!

I think I would add to Aim 1 : Be aware of portion sizes. It's possible to gain plenty weight, even with nourishing food, if we eat too much of it.

I think I would add to Aims 4 and 6: Don't make finding those extra things too much of a burden; be gentle with yourself, don't get too unhappy if you don't find a new thing every month. I think the idea of finding extra, non-food things to do is excellent!

Sounds like a great plan to me. Yay for the Sensible Approach!

good ideas thanks!
New thing for January is to get myself a new bank and savings account! nah im all seriousness, im going to try meditation.

also happily accepting ideas for things to try

finding it hard already to stick to my guides.

Yup, me too. Had a bit of a carb fest yesterday. All we can do is draw a linen under a bad day, and re-commit the next. Good luck!

Your approach sounds great to me. Realistic yet focused. I am almost at the point of resetting my goals, and hoping that I can have a bigger lifestyle change in a holistic way to make it happen and stay happening this time. Good luck!

number 5 is proving almost impossible. any tips?

Hi Ms Big Pants. Here are some tips for you, some of these come from Google.
. Use soothing sounds.
. Treat yourself to a healthy bedtime snack right before you go to bed.
. Go to sleep earlier, like 10 PM.
. Do not workout right before bed (at least 2 hours before).
. Cut out caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes before sleep.
. Imagine a relaxing scene.
. Turn off all electronic devices before bed time.
. Get rid of the TV in the bedroom.
. Fix the temperature.
. Keep your sheets fresh and laundered, and comfy pillows.
. Deep Breathing.
. Have some hot Earl Gray tea or Jasmine tea.

thanks Stronggal.

Unfortunately i already do most of these
i listen to sleep sounds/relaxation music
i usually have somethign before i go to bed
if i go to bed at 10 im awake again at 3 and then every hour thereafter, i dont know why but i am
i work out at least 5 hours before bed
i dont have caffeine, booze and i dont smoke
i tell myself a story
my room is pitch black with not even a clock light
i dont have a tv
temperature is warm without being hot
sheets are always clean
i have tried a meditation sleep routine
if i drink before bed im up all night for the potty

sorry if i sound like im picking holes but i really have tried

ive done a bit of research and it appears i may have Somniphobia - in other words an irrational fear of sleep. I now know where it might come from (previously bad situation i was in which caused me PTSD type symptoms for years, I still have nightmares about once-twice a month about it) and why i have it so i guess thats the first step towards finding a solution.

Its not that i dont want to sleep but i am scared to. if i accidently fall asleep watching tv on the sofa im fine but its when i have to physically go to bed to sleep i put it off until i absolutely have to go to bed and then all i can think of is "i must get to sleep because im getting up in X hours, Y minutes" which then makes the situation worse.

The meditation i tried isnt really for me i dont think. It just makes me more aware of myself which isnt a good thing.

I had insomniphobia from 2013 due to a PTSD-type, involuntary reaction to a cancer diagnosis. I recognize the "I've got to get to sleep now because it's only XX hours until I have to get up" very well.

I saw a psychologist for a while: the cancer was successfully dealt with (coming up 4 years in remission now) but the PTSD effects persisted, and still sometimes do. Her advice was to try and normalize bed times ~ I'd developed all sorts of winding down procedures that began about 5pm for a 10pm bedtime: If I'd used to read my Kindle before I slept before the problems, do it now, I was putting way too much pressure on myself, just lying there in the dark trying to sleep.

It began to improve a bit but in summer 2015 had a relapse. I'd been wearing a fitbit which logged sleep, and took it off because I didn't want to see how little I had slept. She advised me to put it back on because in her experience, people often slept a lot more than they thought they had. That was helpful too; and true.

My current pattern is that, on evenings when I'm not out doing something (most nights, to be fair), I go to bed early, around 9pm, and watch a programme on TV. It's kind of taking the fear of going to bed away, making it a nice, relaxing place to be. I watch until around 11, occasionally dozing off, turn the set off, open the kindle for 2 pages, and pass out. Mostly.

The other thing I do is drink a hot honey drink in bed - about 1 Tbsp honey in about half a mug of hot water. Last year I looked a The Honey Diet by Mike McInnes. Basically a lowish but not very low carb diet, with the addition of honey at night, which he believes can help sleep. It seems to help.

I've always been very active and still struggled with weight loss until I signed up to a race and had something to work towards, before I was never pushing myself or incrementally increasing my activity. So that just helped me a lot, having something to work towards.

thank you so much for sharing your experience Rosinante.

I feel its something i should be able to just get over. im not in the situation i was anymore, im safe, nothing can harm me but the nightmares keep happening from time to time and if im in bed and not able to sleep my mind wanders to all sorts of frightening places.

I think CBT might help me but unfortunately there is a 6 month waiting list for it.

i just dont know what will help now. i find it very difficult to relax at the best of times.

Thinking of you Bigpants, I hope that you can get CBT or other help asap to help you

When you said you don't have a TV, did you mean not in the bedroom or not at all?