Told not to lose more weight but still obese?

  • Im sorry if I'm being whiny but this has been bugging me. I weigh 182 and I want to get down to 135. At 182 I'm stil considered clinically obese and I will not be overweight until 172 and I won't be a normal weight until I'm 140.

    Someone who I really like came up to me and said I looked really good and asked how much I lost. I told her I lost 53 pounds and I wanted to lose another 50 or so. She then said " But you would float away." It's been bothering me all week.

    I'm still not happy with how I look. I'm still obese and who is she to tell me that I don't need to lose more just because I carry it well and look 20 pounds less then what I am? I don't get why she asked if she was just trying to argue.

    Maybe It has nothing to do with it but I feel like this is sort of like the equiavalent of telling a skinny person they need to eat a cheeseburger. It just has been bothering me all week.

    Does anyone else feel like this? Does anyone else get told you don't need to lose weight when you need/want to lose more weight?

    I
  • I sometimes get told this, but unlike you, I love it! I think to myself, "Oooh, they must think I look good already." And I do, but I know when I see myself in old (skinny) pictures, I looked awesome! And my goal weight is 30 pounds higher than when I was really thin so I know that I won't actually be too thin.
  • First off, congrats on losing 53lbs. That is spectacular.

    I think you are taking her compliment too literally. She is saying that you've done a great job and are looking good....not necessarily that you are going to be underweight if you continue.

    However, if she is indeed telling you that you don't need to lose weight, just ignore her. It is really nobody's business but yours (and possibly your Dr). Don't let it worry you at all.

    And here I go, not minding my own business....but unless you are massively tall and/or muscular, at 182 you can definitely lose more weight without even coming close to being unhealthy. So carry on!
  • This has happened to me, and I think it happens to many people who have lost a noticeable amount of weight. Sometimes others may not be comfortable with change or they might even be a little jealous even though they may still be happy for you. My family was so used to me being heavy they couldn't wrap their heads around the idea of me being lighter. When I first told them I wanted to weigh 130 they acted as if I was insane and that 130 was too low even though it's at the high end of what is considered normal for my height. I think it's the result of being comfortably obese for a long time; they don't realize how big they are (and I was) and automatically think that a normal range is too skinny. If I had listened to my sister when she told me not to lose any more weight I'd be 40 lbs heavier right now and unhappier with my weight and appearance. Comments like that seemed to stop after a while. Even though I've still been losing weight, albeit slowly, they seemed to get over it, like they've adapted to a smaller me as the new normal.
  • I suggest you read the post "haters gonna, hate, hate, hate"

    I was told by a friend that I shouldn't lose too much coz Ill just be totally different and they might not like it.

    I proper laughed out loud at her because I knew she meant well, but I told her that I am not having a personality swap, I will still be me! I want to be the best version of me.... blah blah... once I explained that it wasn't a vanity thing, she kinda got it. While I laughed it off I kind of grouched later about it. Do what you want to achieve! My aim is 168 but with muscle. I am 5"6 and hold my weight very well, so most people have no idea just how much I am carrying.
  • Short and sweet advice here. You cannot please everybody so concentrate on pleasing yourself. Love yourself and take care of yourself. If that means losing 50 more pounds or gaining 5 pounds, it is what it is. Carry on!
  • okay my turn to poke nose in

    your not alone..the answer is
    YES.... and it's Bloody annoying

    however the one person that has said that does not outweigh the 15
    ladies I teach aqua jogging /fitness to
    the 4 members of my dance troupe who think my loss is grand


    the only people whom have a right to say that's enough is you or are/have gone to far is you and your doctor !!!



    if you're reading this far

    CONGRATULATIONS on the amazing work you have done so far !!!