Hi everyone, I hope you can all help me. I'm new here. This is my first time to join a forum. I currently weigh 240 lbs I need to lose weight in 3 months for our highschool reunion. My God, my ex and his fiance will be there. He cheated on me with her. I can't blame him though, she's pretty and sexy, I'm just the complete opposite of her.

I'm not trying to lose weight to get him back, I just don't want him to think that I'm miserable because of what he did to me.

I've read books, my friends told me about their own ways of losing weight, someone just offered me a free diet pill sample, and I'm just soo confused on where to start. I'm super stress now!

If you are reading this, please share your weightloss journey. I really want to know.

Thank you!

I'm not here to tell you what to do...but do you think this is a healthy mindset to have? If you absolutely want to go, go regardless of your weight. Buy a new outfit if it makes you feel more confident, but please don't jeopardize your health just because someone from your past will be there. I understand exactly how you feel though, but if I were you I would reevaluate my priorities. What if you starve yourself and faint at the reunion? And to be honest, if I told myself "I have to lose weight in 3 weeks" I probably would gain instead of losing.
What I can tell you though, is that you have enough time to make positive life changes in three weeks. Eat clean, exercise, drink water, those are all possible things you can do that will most likely affect your weight, your body image, and your self-confidence. Before events, even if I don't feel great about my body, I like to invest time in pampering myself: at home facials, hair masks, at home manicures...these little things make a huge difference in your overall appearance. Journalling and taking the time to reflect on positive affirmations also helps me. Oh and working on my posture! Huge confidence booster.
I hope this was helpful in some way. Don't worry about your weight, it honestly does not define you. What defines you is how you choose to live your life and how positive you decide to feel about yourself. Take care & don't hesitate to PM me

I have to agree with Muguet. I don't want to discourage you from taking positive steps in your health and fitness, but a 3 week crash course isn't going to help. You might lose some pounds, but I guarantee you won't feel healthy. Plus stress makes losing weight hard, so it might not even work if you push yourself too hard.

MonteCristo and muguet you guys are very sweet. Thank you for all your kind words. That's right, I shouldn't push myself too hard. But honestly, I have been trying to lose weight for years now but I kept failing. I get very disappointed with myself because I always fail in my life. I just want to change the way I think about myself. Being in this forum I think is very helpful because I can share my stories. I couldn't talk to my friends or family about how I feel at certain things because I already know what they're gonna tell me. I just feel like it's so easy for them to tell things that I should do and it seems like they don't really care or know exactly how I am feeling inside. It's just so depressing.

I'm glad we didn't scare you off! 3FC can be very helpful if you are struggling with your weight. What have you tried in the past that didn't seem to work?

I can relate! I think if this is what will motivate you to start making positive changes go for it. I wouldn't suggest any crazy crash diets but 3 months is a good amount of time to lose some weight. My best advice is drink a ton of water and count your calories. When counting the calories try to make them smart choices as well. Don't think well I will just eat a tiny bit and fit in some ice cream later...really make them count. Swap snacks for fruit and introduce more healthy foods. What is your current diet like?

I COMPLETELY relate!! But what I realised lately, is that its precisely thinking that "I always fail anyway" that got me to gain weight and miss out on so much.
What I'm personally trying to do myself is to focus on the present. What great choices can I make for myself today? For example, right now I'm visiting my mother who has a gazillion deserts lying around. I realllllllyy want that chocolate bar that's calling me from the kitchen and part of me is saying "I'm fat anyway, who cares, it won't hurt to eat it". This kind of lack of respect for myself led me to value things like instant gratification and comfort over feeling like I'm worth something more than what I see in the mirror or what others think of me.

It's a hard shift to do, and I'm not perfect at it, but this is what this community is for. Run to us when you feel weak, or feel like you don't feel worthy. Everyone has the right to live a healthy and fulfilling life. Having a manageable weight is only part of that lifestyle.

Also, I'm sorry, I totally misunderstood that you wanted to lose weight in 3 weeks...hehe. Three months is HUGE and you can accomplish so much. Just remember that everything takes time but you can definitely work on building a positive self-image along progressively making healthier choices for your body. Set yourself small and manageable goals (for example my goal for the day/week is lighter dinners and no night snacking) rather than expecting to weigh something at the end of the week/month. It will allow you to feel accomplished without putting too much pressure and feeling "like a failure" because of it.

Best of luck and huge hugs to you, you'll be fine and we're all here to cheer you on!!

Hi there Hannah!

I am new to this forum as well, and I'm excited to find a group of women who are similarly looking for weight loss support - so thank you for sharing! After reading your post, a few things come to mind:

1): Forget about your ex and his girl. Your weight isn't the only thing you have to offer in a relationship, and if he doesn't appreciate what you do offer, then I wouldn't worry about his opinion. If his opinion matters to you, he's still controlling your life, and possibly your self-esteem.

2): Lose weight for you.

3): You mentioned depression. Would a weekly/monthly therapist session help? Weight loss requires SO MUCH encouragement and determination, and depression can really get in the way of that. If you don't feel you need to seek professional counseling, try to make weight loss as positive as possible. When I am tempted to eat something unhealthy and I am trying to convince myself to choose a healthier food - in that extremely tough moment - I remind myself that I am choosing this food because in the long-term it really is what I want. It's not that I "can't" eat the unhealthy food; I "don't want" it.

4): You've tried to lose weight in the past and it hasn't worked. I can't help but wonder why? Were you unable to follow the restrictions? Unmotivated? Didn't have enough information to do it correctly? Or were you doing all of the right things and still not losing weight? If it's the latter, have you had your thyroid checked? If it's one of the others, I'm currently reading a book called Changeology by John Norcross. I am finding it very helpful.

5): You want to lose weight - that in and of itself is worth commending. A lot of people are in denial about their health, or are okay with dying young as long as they can be "fat and happy" while they're alive. Give yourself some credit for valuing your health and acknowledging that making a change is important.

I hope at least something here is helpful to you. Best of luck to you - you can do this

Hello, everyone! How are you all?

April Wheeler - Those are very helpful tips, April. Thank you so much! I tried some of the "quick fix" diet that they called. It didn't work for me. No matter how hard I tried. I think I failed because I had a not so very solid reason to lose weight. And a very wrong mindset and expectation too. It was just all not right. I should lose weight for myself! - That's right! I should lose weight and be healthy for myself.

Now my only worry is how to stay motivated. Please share your stories about staying motivated in this journey. Thank you all so much!

Hi Hannah!

Honestly, motivation is my worst enemy. I never have any. I pretty much have to rely on sheer bloody mindedness and shame to make myself stick to things. I try to post here, bad or good. The accountability helps, especially on a daily basis. There are several daily accountability threads in different areas of the forum, I'd suggest reading through a couple and finding one that you feel comfortable with, and start posting whenever you get a chance.

Step 1: Stop stressing, stress will do the complete opposite from what you want to do.

Step 2: Download a food tracking app like My Fitness Pal.

Step 3: Find out how many calories you normally eat per day (being completely honest and track drinks, oils, spreads, everything)

Step 4: Reduce that intake to around 1500 calories per day at first!

Step 5: If you do not start to see a loss in the first week, you can jump down to maybe 1300 calories (if you are very active I wouldn't recommend below 1400).

Step 6: Start moving your butt! Aim for 5,000 steps per day. Then 7500, then 10,000!!!! Whatever you do, just start moving.


Goodluck!