I don't know if my current ticker is accurate, but I'm 158 lbs. With each baby I've gained a lot and lost it. This time around I started lifting, rather than just cardio, and it has helped me look better. A little more toned. I still have some weight to lose, but I'm a size 10 (down from a 18) and I feel good. I have always noticed that my DH had no opinion on my appearance. Like my hair for example. I ask him over the years and he says whatever I want. He has no opinion on what clothing he finds attractive, or anything really. The past few years I have grown my hair in long and have been taking better care of it (thick & curly), it looks nice now. No more frizzy mess...he hasn't said anything. And last night I asked him if he finds me more attractive now that I've lost weight. He said you look good whenever. Ok, but what kind of girl would you turn your head to look at? I'm trying to look attractive attractive to you. I've lost a lot of weight, it would be nice to know that I turn you on more. ...He said he doesn't care what I weight. ...I get there are women that want this. That want to have their husband say they are good looking no matter what. Well I want a husband that notices the positive changes in my appearance. Consider it one of the perks of looking better (aside from my own enjoying it). It left me feeling horrible and wanting to dress nice and go out just to get positive attention from someone else. I worked very hard to change my body this past year. (And my hair, it's really a big difference from a year or so ago). And I feel so let down that hubby doesn't care. A part of me feels like why bother? Honestly, it doesn't matter if I'm more attractive to other men, I'm married and not looking. I was hoping to be more attractive to my husband, but he really drove home last night that I could take zero interest in my appearance and he wouldn't care. I know that suppose to be a good thing!! But it would feel nice as a women to feel like he thinks I'm hot or something close. I mean he's a guy, he's gotta have a type, right? A kind of appearance he finds super attractive out side of our love / relationship. Know what I mean?

MEN!!!! My other half is almost as bad!
With my husband he is supportive when it comes to loosing weight - however I was always the fat chick when we got together - not quite as bad as I am now but enough to not be the slim one -I have lost 24 kg / 52 pounds and he hasn't noticed it - the girls he works with have my & boss at work has but my man - nope ... fair enough he didn't really notice when I GAINED it either so blind to the fact as long as my face doesn't change too much he wont notice and at the moment I feel like the only thing he may have noted is We are both getting older and a few more lines on the face

With your DH there will be something he finds appealing - legs chest bum ... even if he wont say so, tis nice to hear he loves you for you though not how you look even though some feedback from him would be grand - and yes I get where your coming from

Men are big dumb dumbs. But this is pretty common. I think you've done all you can in terms of getting his attention but it looks like that's not the way to get his attention after all. Instead can you talk to him about your needs? I totally get it, you want to be fawned over a little by your man, who wouldn't want that? Just tell him it's something that you need for him and hope that he respects your needs enough to give a little more attention. This is NOT about how you look, because obviously he loves you either way. You can't turn yourself into his type because you're already his type. This is more about communication than anything else. Be specific about your expectations. He may not be able to do everything you want him to but he might be able to do a few things like compliment you, show affection etc.

MEN ARE CLUELESS!!! Mine too!!

DH was going on and on (and on) about this college tour girl when he took our son to visit.

I jokingly said, "Boy, did you talk about me this much when we were dating?"

DH stares at me blankly and says, "No."

I say, "Let me rephrase that: Boy, did you talk about me this much to other people when you first met me?"

Again, DH says, "No."

Meanwhile, DD was looking on, absolutely horrified!!!

It got worse, and I won't write the rest down as that would kill my soul. But in the end he says, "I can't tell you what you want to hear."

This has NOTHING to do with weight as I was underweight when I met him!!! Later he says (as cause and effect wears on under three layers of doghouses during an ice storm), "You're beautiful now and always have been".

Meh.

Like the others said ... MEN are CLUELESS!

When my husband and I were dating ... we were on a floating pier ... I'm looking up at him, with sun in my eyes. I have very blue eyes - so, they'd be washed out from the sun in this case. He looks down at me, straight in the in the eyes and says "What color are your eyes? Brown?" (seriously!) I laughed and said "no!" He then asked ... "green?" == yup!

Then two years into our marriage - he thought it would be nice to go to a Marriage Encounter. I was sooo excited. We had a great relationship. I thought how awesome --- we get to enhance our marriage rather than fix it, like most people are doing and that's why they go to a ME.

The first assignment was to write down and then share with each other, why were are this ME. I'm all excited, talking about how lucky we are to have such a great marriage, we can learn how our strengths and weaknesses and how we can work together better ... blah blah blah. He wrote ... "our marriage needs saving and our sex life sucks!" AH! AH! ... well, I was obviously devastated! Years later he said what he meant was "he wished we would kiss more often!"

I have lost 54 pounds. I said to him the other day ... ah, I guess I'll just tell you! I know you thing there is something different, because you will make remarks like - oh, I like your top. I've lost 54 pounds. His response? Oh, I did notice you'd lost some weight, but I didn't know it was that much!

Now, granted - this is a bit extreme ... and we have our problems. However...

One needs to be HAPPY with their APPEARANCE for themselves! I once read that the sexiest thing for a man is a CONFIDENT woman!

GLAMOURGIRL! Do this for YOU! Do this for the love YOU have for YOU! DO NOT look for outside approval! Be the best you can be for YOU! I'm sure you know MANY beautiful, sculpted, skinny, ladies that are "be-aches!!" And, over weight woman who are people you want to be with... because the beauty on the inside is what is seen!

Men aren't bad ... they JUST do NOT think like Women! And, that ... is GOOD!

Be confident in WHO you are ... keep taking care of you and your appearance for YOU! YES! Your husband -- may -- some day -- notice. But, if he doesn't -- you will still be thin, beautiful, and HAPPY!

Blessings --- on you and on your marriage!

It's not just men. And it's not all men. Frankly, I'm this way with my SOs (and friends quite often). It has to be a really big change for me to notice weight shifts (like, high percentage of your body weight gained/lost). Otherwise people look the same to me.

I'm like this with boyfriends - they can gain or lose a lot and unless it's a ton, I'm none the wiser. Not a clue. Someone else will mention it and I'll be like, "What? Babe, c'mere. Have you lost weight? So-and-so says they noticed."

Then he's like, uh, yeah, like 40 lbs. Then I feel very unobservant. But seriously, he's just as attractive to me either way.

But I'm totally losing weight for me. Will it help romantic relationships? Probably. But is that my goal? Nah. I figure my SOs are the same. If not, they figure out quick that I don't care what they weigh. I care what *I*, though - I care a lot.

As hard as this is, it is not about him.

This is about you being the best person you can be.

I have been married for 39 years. I love my husband, but I not look to him to validate me as a person.

I know this drives him nuts, but at the same time, there came a point, when I did realize, I did "NOT" need his approval, to be who I wanted to be. When I did that, I gained so much more respect from him, because I quit being a doormat.

While I agree that taking care of ourselves should be done for ourselves, I hardly think that glamourgirl is a doormat. A woman can be strong, independent, and fearless but she is allowed to crave her partner's loving attention at the end of the day without losing his respect.

"I want you to be happy and you look great no matter what" is a safe answer. It's not real, but he doesn't want to say ANYTHING that could potentially hurt your feelings or make you insecure.

Infuriating, but sweet in their own man way.