Hey Everyone!

This is unlike to post something personal, but I feel like it'll be good for me and I truly would like some advice because it seems like a lot of you guys know what you're doing!

I was on a good weight loss cycle until grad school. I've gained 10 lbs since starting, and I told myself it's no big deal and I'd get it off eventually....

Now fast forward to 1.5 years. I'm now 15 lbs over and I just broke up with a guy who I really thought was going to be the guy I ended up with. He told me he was just not feeling the chemistry anymore between us. But we had a good break up and no hard feelings between us, however one thing bothers me. While we were dating I told him I was trying to lose weight and he was very supportive and encouraged me as he was trying to lose too, and he actually lost 30lbs in the year I knew him. I noticed though that when I told him I had hard days, he would say it's ok pick up again the next meal and so forth, so encouraging right?

Anyway, so we still talk now and then and I feel like now I'm noticing his weight comments so much more that he's done losing weight, and it feels hurtful. He will send me videos of comedians who make fun of guys who are intimate with over weight girls (calling them cows and such) and it's just so hurtful. I can't tell if it's because I'm taking it personally of if he truly thinks is funny/he's an idiot and doesn't see how it's offensive. He never made comments like this when we were dating but he would always tell me there was room for improvement in terms of my dedication to my diet.

SO I decided to distance myself from him, no need for that negativity in my life, because let's be real, I have bigger problems to deal with right now!

I can't figure out why I'm not losing weight. I know exactly what I need to do but I'm giving myself too much freedom. I go to the store and I tell myself it's ok to buy nutella or hot cheetos because i'm studying, like STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF HHM6. It's really bothering me.

I also am struggling in school so I feel like my mental sanity is necessary, but what do you guys do to keep going? I have had friends tell me to use my ex as a reason to lose weight, but even that isn't working because I truly don't have any ill-will towards him and I'm grateful he didn't lead me on.

Do I really not want this badly enough? Because it seems like mentally I do, but I'm all talk because I'm not doing what's necessary to actually drop the weight.

Any thoughts are appreciated!

I've never been to grad school, and I don't know what you're studying, but obviously, you're a little distracted right now! You either need a new comfort/habit/stress reliever, or you need to just get through grad school!

What helps me is to have the same boring, regular meals and snacks. Or eat celery and peanut butter (real peanut butter from health food store) for that fix.

Or pick up the iPhone and play a repetitive game like Candy Crush. Or spend your mad $ on the game instead of on food. Or watch Netflix. Or get into graphic novels. Replace the snacking habit with more nerdy ones. You know?

And the guy? Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and call him "Clueless". If he was trying to send a subtle message, believe me, you'd know, because guys are also Clueless on being subtle.

No matter where we are in life, life is going to throw crap at us.

I've never been your place.

But last May, my mother fell at home and laid for 2 days, and almost died before she got found.

Fast forward, my sisters and I had to put her in the nursing home, and clean out her hoard, and sell her house, and then Mom's Mom, 97 had to have a special gall bladder surgery that required a 200 mile ambulance trip, and a week in a place, she'd never been, and it was her first ever, surgery!

It was one long, horrific year! I am very thankful, I have great sisters. I have a great husband, one sister has a great husband, one sister is single. We all rolled with it.

Lol, I have kids older than you! Between me and my sisters, we have like 11 grandkids!

Get your education, no one can take that from you! Relax, the rest will follow!

Grad school is the hardest, most stressful thing ever. I've watched almost all of my classmates slowly develop some form of an anxiety disorder (myself included). We are stressed, we are stuck not moving studying, and we have no time to find other sources of comfort. It is okay that the weight isn't coming off like you want it to- you have bigger fish to fry right now.

I do have a couple tips though. When you take breaks, instead of watching netflix (my weakness!) call a friend for a chat and go for a little walk outside. It is so nice to get outside and I find it really refreshing. I turned one of my favourite shows into a show that I was only allowed to watch while doing cardio- I needed to see Dr House do his thing, so I always stayed on machines longer than I would have before. Also, whenever possible, I try to make eating social- sitting with a roommate/parent/friend to eat even for just a few minutes made me a little more sane and stopped me from binging so badly.