I am 25, mid 200's, and am not a big fan of the way I look..like, at all.

I am a food addict, and I am fully aware of this. I do not have the discipline to pass up on the food that I shouldn't be eating. One of my biggest dilemmas is that I still live at home, and my family is always bringing junk into the house. I've expressed my concerns in that before, but to no avail...I just don't have the strength to walk past a pack of cupcakes or a bag of cookies that are sitting on the counter. And of course one cupcake, one cookie just won't do...

I'm at a point where my lack of self confidence is definitely effecting my dating life, and I am very self conscious and feel that I could never get a good, attractive man because of the way that I look. It's a sucky way to look at it, but that's just reality unfortunately. Good looking men aren't interested in fat girls (except for maybe a select few)

Anywho, I'm totally rambling. I'd love to advice, insight, etc.

Thanks!

Hi Lindsay, welcome to the forum.

Do you have income? Can you buy your own healthy foods? Or could you go shopping with your family and pick up healthier items? Something to pick up and snack on besides cookies and cupcakes? Fruit, celery and carrot sticks dipped in low fat dressing, cheese sticks are great for snacks. You can start small, like eliminating sodas and drink water or flavored water instead. You need to be prepared when the munchies strike.

Are you getting any activity in? Walking is a great start and there are a few walking videos on Youtube you can do inside, too.

Lindsay - Maybe try recording everything you eat so you can track calories. Sometimes if you have to write it down or record it on an app (I use MyFitnessPal), you can stop yourself from extra indulgences.

What Kat posted above is great advice too! Make the commitment to take care of yourself and dedicate yourself to the process. The end result is so worth the effort!

Hi Lindsay46,

What I've done (and this may not work for you) is to fast through the day. Then when you do eat, you can "afford" the extra calories more.

Or conversely (and I know this sounds gross) have that cupcake/cookie first thing in the morning along with a dinner/mammoth breakfast. Lunch. Then eat a very light dinner/breakfast at night.

Maybe have your own cabinet. And tell your 'rents to physically put the junk food out of sight. Or label it "Parent's Food".

I used to have a similar problem, so I just told myself I would drink some tea/water, do an activity (ie. take notes over a chapter for class, clean the bathroom, play a video game for 30 minutes... whatever works for you), then maybe I could have a little bit of whatever I was craving later. Usually, just putting it off and realizing that I don't actually *need* the junk food made it way easier to say no to.

Also, I evaluated my diet plan and made sure I didn't feel deprived and I was getting plenty of nutrients.

You tell us how you look and how you don't have confidence and you are afraid of not getting a man. But can you tell us how your body feels? Can you climb a set of stairs without losing your breath? Can you participate in a physical activity with others and not feel self conscious? Do you have energy during the day or are you falling apart by the 4 o'clock munchies? Are you sleeping well? Do your joints hurt? Can you kneel down to tie your shoe? Can you put your socks and pants on without sitting down? If you're sitting on the floor can you get up quickly or do you make terrible grrrrrrrrr noises while hoisting yourself up from nearby furniture?

Firstly, there are 2 separate issues at hand here. Your self confidence is NOT tied to how you look. Lots of people think that if only they could lose weight then their confidence will come back, or they'll get a boyfriend, or they'll have more friends, or they'll get a promotion, etc. Weightloss has a very special fairy dust meaning to people and yet I still see skinny people who are broke, get divorced, have cancer, can't get a boyfriend etc. So do not rely on losing weight to help you feel better about yourself. Self confidence is a SKILL and you have to work on it everyday, no matter what you weigh! Your weight does not prevent you from loving your body. If you want to have self confidence you have to learn how to love yourself no matter what.

The second issue is the issue of a healthy life. The questions I asked above are some real life indicators of good health. You are young now so you may not be experiencing some of these things but as time goes on you lose the ability to do a lot of these things. So forget about how you look, focus on making your body feel its best. Get involved in physical activities that make your body feel alive. Don't worry so much about what you should not be eating, just make sure you add the things that are important for a healthy body. You want a burger? Fine, eat a burger. But also eat a salad. You want cupcakes, eat cupcakes. But also eat the better snack, the carrots and the hummus or the banana. You want to eat french toast for breakfast, fine but also drink the green juice. Stop thinking about bad food versus good food, stop associating healthy foods with dieting and bad foods with binging. Get all the nutrients into your body, over time your body will start to crave the things that make it feel better more and more. I believe that health is more about getting the nutrients in, focus on that and over time things will become more easier.

There are so many great points being made here. Like katiam247 said, are you able to help choose which foods are brought into the house? Maybe create your own shelf in the cabinet and fridge with your own food, and encourage your family members to keep their foods on their own shelves! And PrepDramahas great ideas for doing some physical activity when the cravings start. Hope this helps! We are all in this together

You have the power to change what you don't like.

You can say no! You just need to get motivated!