I've always been curvy size 14 to 20 really. A few years ago I was virtually a 12 and around 11st (5 ft 4in) (big thighs mean a 12 is always out of reach comfortably).

Weight has been creeping up gradually but a year ago I started a new more sedentary job and I have ballooned. I drink too much wine, eat when I'm not hungry and am very lazy. Obviously I'm now in a vicious circle of comfort eating and disgusted at my size 22, dare not weigh myself, sure it's 16 stone plus. I know all the theories of weight loss, have successfully followed Slimming World in the past, but for some reason I am on a self destruct cycle and humiliated beyond belief.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression, I appear utterly confident and in control at work, but the effort to appear not embarrassed and humiliated is so very tiring.

I've joined this group and am positing (for the first time ever at nearly 45) to try and kickstart something in my head/determination.

Any and all advice or motivation tips are welcomes, I'm scared, ashamed and horrified at what I done to myself, my best friend has asked me to be her Maid Of Honour in November and I am terrified that I will keep procrastinating until it's too late to make a difference. I get teary and can't understand why the repulsion I am feeling doesn't make me change my ways

Hi JKBun!

First of all you are totally in the right place. You've made a really important step in coming here! I know exactly what you're going through and so many others here will as well.

I can understand your fear of getting on the scales. When I was at my heaviest I got on, saw the number, said "Oh, well done" and cried! You are definitely not alone.

First of all, its never too late. Every positive step you make from here on in is going to do wonders for your body, health, and mind.

Secondly, and this is the most important thing that kept me going so far, is that the time is going to pass anyway. It's easy to say "Oh, that's going to take me so long I may as well not bother". This was my downfall many times! Yes, it may take months, or a year, or two. Those years will pass anyway. November will come around anyway. But you can make changes that will make that time worth it!

I'm very familiar with the self destructive cycle and have only just managed to break it myself since Christmas I also suffer with anxiety and depression and sense that you, like myself may like nice food as comfort!

There really is no easy solution as you probably already know. It's an arduous task and requires an enormous amount of strength, attitude and lifestyle overhaul. And I 100% believe you have all three of those! Take one day, one meal at a time. Opt for healthier, low calorie choices.

If you want chocolate I recommend Special K's chocolate cereal bars or one of those mini kinder bars. Skips are only 78 cals per pack, Quavers are similar i believe. Find a fruit you like (I'm addicted to apples right now!). Serve your portions as if you were feeding a child. My favourite meal right now is 3 hash browns, 5 chicken dippers and 200g baked beans. I'm not even ashamed! I also order kids' meals in restaurants because I can't stand salad. May as well eat something i'll enjoy, right? Snack on carrot sticks dipped in 50g of houmous. Treat food as if it is a precious life force. Enjoy every bite, put your fork down between mouthfuls.

Most important of all, remember that you don't need to wait til you reach your goal weight to feel beautiful. Paint your nails, use expensive shampoo. Wear bright lipstick and have long hot baths Your body is your vehicle in life, and even whilst we're working on improving it it's important to take care of yourself. You are beautiful!

Best of luck and sparkles to you!

Thanks for the post, helps to know there are others with similar issues as I feel like such an idiot as it's all self inflicted

Hi there.... we are pretty much in the same boat.

My ideal weight is around 10 stone. I'm currently 14. I'm 46 and I'm utterly disgusted with myself.

I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome so can't be active as I'd like to be so I really have to watch my diet. A recent flare has had me binge eating and now I have got to undo the damage!

Aside from sewing my gob shut the only real answer is to give myself a kick!

So you're not alone.

Good luck with your weight loss. I hope we can spur each other along!

Ang

Hello Frazzle and other people!

I came back to this forum this evening for a little inspiration. I am getting very overweight and slipped into the obese category. If I am honest in middle age the thing that brings me the most pleasure in life is food.
I have a chaotic highly pressured life and sometimes find myself picking at foods in the kitchen if I've had some kind of bad news. I have dieted successfully in the past but only on very low calorie diets which made me so miserable and scared of food and of socialising around food and too weak to exercise or think.
I also need some help and support and sometimes just reading other people's ideas and tips is useful. I don't think I want to be slim anymore, but just a bit less overweight and more healthy. I wish you luck Frazzle and everyone.
By the way my weight ticker is wrong and out of date so must change that now.

Hello I meant to say hello to JKBunny16 (as well as the others) I certainly could relate to what you were saying. Good luck.

First step weigh yourself! It may seem scary but you need to take acccountability for it first.
Have you got a motivational piece of clothing mine keeps me going when I fancy choc! Use all that negative feelings you have to change! You can do this!

Hi, I'm new too.
Your post resonated with me so much. I'm also in control at work, yet have zero control over food.
I feel disgusted, ashamed, repulsed, horrified... I could continue on for hours with adjectives to describe the way I feel about myself, but you get the idea.
I have two young children, a very demanding full time job and I struggle to keep my home running- sometimes stuffing my face with chocolate on an evening is the only way.
I'm 35 on Saturday, and this week I gained a massive 11lbs (in one week!) making me 15st 10lbs.
Hopefully we can both find what we need to make the changes for the better before it's too late...

Hello JKbunny16 and the other fellow new members in this thread
You're all really not alone with the weight loss struggle. Weighing myself when I first started my diet was a no-no. I was beyond petrified and ashamed of what the scales would say. I've found with myself that its all about getting into the right mindset and having the determination that nothing will stop me. Once you start losing a few pounds and seeing the results things become easier and you get even more motivated! You can do it! Im sure we've all made the right decision in joining this site for support

Hi JK Bunny and everyone else!

I am new here and hoping for some support, JKbunny I know exactly how you feel, my sister is getting married next Feb and I really need to get a move on as I'm uncomfortable at the weight I am (currently swinging between 19 and 20 stone!) I have recently lost 12 pounds due to buying a nutribullet and switching to fruit smoothies but have had a couple of naughty weekends so having a panic! I have to say though, as horrible as finally weighing myself was, it was a wake up call for me to sort it out.

If anyone has any tips for things we can tell ourselves when the temptation gets too much it would really help! Sometimes just the smell of fried food sets me off

JK Bunny I hope you managed to get somewhere as I can see you posted a few months ago, but if not its never to late to start and November is still miles away

Its lovely to meet everyone and I hope to be posting on here lots as I hopefully lose some weight