Does anyone else worry that they will never get there and that even if you do you still wont be happy?

Do you mean happy with weight if the goal is met or happy with life in general? For me, the answer is no to both of your questions.

I met my goal 3+ years ago. My problem was that I had no maintenance plan and I couldn't figure our how to manage increasing life demands and/or stress with the weight loss. I have since gained a bunch back. But up until I did, I was happy, happy, kicked-in-the-head-by-a-donkey happy

While I'm not happy with my current weight, I am for the most part, a pretty happy person. I have no doubt in my mind that I will make goal again and this time I will be better prepared.

In my youth (I'm 47) there was a time when I linked happiness to an ideal weight. But I realized that we are all given limited time to be here and I couldn't see wasting that time denying myself relationships, adventures, challenges, and especially happiness until I reached my goal weight. I hope all that made sense .

That is a normal worry to have, because doubt is something that always creeps in on us. But you must recognize that your method of weight loss, if sound, will lead you to a logical conclusion. It's all numbers, irrefutable as science, the pounds will dissolve, the inches will fall. It is possible for you to stop yourself from getting there, a sort of self-sabotage that comes from either comfort, impatience, or insecurity. But don't fear that it's impossible for you--it's not.

As far as your happiness, as a species we are excellent at finding things to be unhappy about. When you reach your goal weight, there is a chance that something else in your life might make you unhappy. However, if the changes you are making to lose weight are positive and sustainable, that means you will be eating cleaner and moving more, drinking more water and breathing more fresh air. These things, according to science and most religions, will lead you to a generally happier life.

Be patient with yourself and dismiss your worries. You can do what you truly set your mind to, I promise.

thank both for your different perspectives.

I am a worrier. i worry about everything. how i will be/feel after is completely unknown to me. guess theres nothing for it but to see what happens.

I worry about that, but I'm also trying to see that weight is not what makes me happy or unhappy, it's everything else.
I'm realizing more and more every day that I can't put my happiness in the hands of others, only myself. I need to think about what makes me happy and not what makes others act differently towards me, which in turn would make me happy.

How will "getting there" in terms of weight affect you? Maybe something else is what makes you unhappy.

im trying not to focus on the weight but i have such high hopes for myself im terrified i wont live up to my own expectations. i want to lose another 28lbs (ish) and be toned before i go on holiday. Im worried that ill still not feel good enough. Ive never felt good enough.

I can tell you that you ARE good enough--there are qualities in your heart that make you a true friend to others, that give you the capacity to listen to others, to feel love and compassion. Those are the things in life that make you good, and you already have them. I know many worriers and I know that you can't tell a worrier not to worry--but if I can't tell you "don't worry," then I will hold out until the day when I can tell you "I told you so," when you reach your goal and you do indeed look and feel as beautiful as you have imagined.

As your body changes, I also hope that your heart will get to know itself better and realize how very much you have going for you.

Good luck!

Hello fellow worrier! I too worry about everything so I really empathize with feeling this way.

Weight and how my body ended up looking is probably the only thing I no longer worry about so just want to give you some reassurance there! I had quite a bit more to lose than you and think I am probably much older as well but am still really happy with how things ended up. I did end up with lots of loose skin but it doesn't bother me.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. I hope by the time your holiday rolls around that you will feel happy with your progress and really be able to enjoy yourself.

Let me ask this. Do you know any thin people who are problem free? When you see overweight people do you assume that they are unhappy? Linking happiness to weight seems sort of arbitrary to me, I've come to that conclusion after a long battle with weight and happiness of my own. Overweight people cheat themselves of happiness I think by putting it off, punishing themselves and not allowing themselves to be truly joyful in their lives. We put off buying clothes, taking vacations, participating in certain physical activities until we reach a goal weight. Thereby we don't allow ourselves to be happy.

I truly believe that being happy is a skill. Being content is a skill. And self esteem is something you build, it's not something that happens to you when you lose weight. Being happy and being thin are 2 separate things and that's why you see so many people lose weight and still not find happiness. You have to practice happiness and self esteem and not wait for it to happen to you, it's already yours!

i know being thin wont make me happy but im hoping when i lose weight it will be one less worry? maybe?
im hoping that once i get there ill be able to look in the mirror and not want to cry.
when im with my man i hope to feel ok with him touching my tummy so i can enjoy the time rather than being worried about those kinds of things.
Is that even a semi realistic set of hopes?

Yes, that's absolutely realistic.

Maybe it will be one less worry. Or maybe it will open up a whole new can of worries - have you seen the threads that are like "people are telling me how awesome I look now that I lost weight and its' freaking me out!!!" or "I've got a bunch of extra skin" or "I lost weight but my face looks awful!" or "I lost 100lbs but my thighs are still huge" or "I lost weight but my boyfriend dumped me" or ..... well this could go on. The point is, worrying is something you do because you want to, not because there is actual stuff to worry about. We make up worries as we go along.

If you're looking in the mirror and crying then there are more serious things happening than your weight. How you feel about yourself has more to do with what you are saying to yourself than how you look.

I'm certain your boyfriend loves you as you are, I'm sure he's told you a hundred times. If someone can think of you as beautiful why can't you think of yourself as beautiful? That's just my opinion, I don't think that weight and self esteem are related. Sure you can lose weight and feel great but matters of self esteem are deep rooted and once you learn to not like yourself it's hard to unlearn.

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