I've come to accept that I likely have a food addiction. No particular food. I think I am just addicted to feeling full. During the day, I don't seem to have too much trouble eating well. I can eat a healthy breakfast, a good low-calorie lunch with lots of nutrients. Snacking is limited yet healthy.

However, come dark, I just ruin all my good eating for the day. I just eat and eat and eat until I finally fall asleep. I've done my very best to keep extremely unhealthy foods out of my home. But that hardly matters when I'm consuming enormous amounts of calories in the form of fruits, veggies, salads, soups, etc.

In more than a year, I haven't lost a single pound. I've steadily gained over 40 more pounds this year. I've been to the doctor a number of times for this. All bloodwork is good, nothing else appears wrong. The most frustrating thing is that I intended to start trying to conceive this year. To do that, I needed to quit smoking and lose weight. I was able to quit smoking after 15 years with relative ease. No luck on losing weight.

What do I do? It feels so hopeless. I want to be healthy, but more importantly, I want to have a child so badly. I'm 5'4'' and am now weighing 245 lbs. I can barely tie my own shoes without feeling like I'm going to choke on my own neck fat and other necessary grooming habits are getting steadily worse. The idea that I'll soon not even be able to wipe my own butt makes me break down in tears, but somehow won't stop me eating. Please help me.

Congratulations on quitting smoking! One of the best things you can ever do for your health

You should be incredibly proud of your achievement

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I think the evening meal is usually the most challenging. Are you following a particular diet plan? I personally find that if I don't eat enough during the day I go crazy in the evenings! So I try to make sure I eat enough food with carbs, fiber and vegetables to keep me satisfied. I also find that making a ceremony or ritual out of dinner helpful to keep me on track. Light a candle, make a salad or soup starter, have a small main and finish off with a herbal/non-caffeinated tea/coffee. For me it signifies the end of the meal and stops me from gorging later at night.

I also think keeping an honest and detailed food diary for a few weeks to be illuminating. It can help you understand triggers and patterns in eating habits and just improve awareness all round

I don't really know how to help, but I just wanted to say I totally understand. These night cravings are tough. Nighttime eating can be a really hard habit to break. I am trying to keep myself busy at nights, and it works most of the time.

I am back at Weight Watchers again, and this is something we discussed at our last meeting.

We have people who actually count their points starting at dinner and that helps them stop eating because they know they need to have points left over for lunch the next day. I am the opposite - on the 4 days a week I work in the city I don't get home much before 8PM, and I have usually used up almost all my points. So most nights, I just don't eat once I get home. I eat a yogurt or a protein bar on my long commute home and I keep myself busy with other things and away from the kitchen. Our leader said(and this is something I've done as well) that she'll often just get ready for bed. Shower, read, watch TV(away from the kitchen), brush your teeth..anything that gets you out of the night eating habit/routine and into a new one.

This is a really common problem. On the positive side, at least you're eating healthy things at night - my night choices are always terrible. So make sure you get all that good stuff in earlier in the day!

Stop eating in the evenings.

Come home.

Have a glass of wine.

Read a book.

Have a bath.

Go to bed early (trust me, if you have a kid you'll be glad you did).

Job done.

I haven't eaten dinner for two years now (except for social events). After lunch I am done for the day.

We've all been there! Nighttime eating is quite a challenge and there are many reasons for that.

First and foremost, you may not be eating enough during the day. It's a dead giveaway when you talk about how little trouble you have sticking to a plan during the day. What happens with most calorie counter (or point counters or any kind of counting) is to save save save points and calories all day. You slightly under eat at breakfast, slightly under eat at lunch, slightly under eat at snack time.... that makes for a whole lot of hunger and too much hunger can lead to bad decision making around food.

Second, if you're walking a tight rope during the day with lots of stress and responsibilities it makes sense that at night you want to unwind. This was a big one for me - "Today has been so hard, I deserve a treat." And every night was a treat.

For me what worked was making peace with food through Intuitive Eating, and then being really honest with myself about what my body needed at different times of the day. Instead of eating a "good" breakfast and and "healthy" lunch I focused on eating more food at breakfast and lunch. Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper. When I eat this way I hardly ever eat more than a snack at dinner. And I cook dinner for my family, pasta, roasts, whatever. I just snack on it really.

Plus I work out mostly at night now, there's no room for a big dinner. At the very least I go out for a walk at night.

Thank you for the responses. Sadly, I've tried most of these things and it hasn't changed anything. The only thing I haven't tried is working out at in the late evenings, though that's unlikely seeing as working out caused me to gain weight faster, which was weird considering when I was working out was the only way I refrained from overeating in the evenings.

It seems that I'm just going to have to accept that this fat body is my new reality and that becoming a parent is nowhere in the cards for me.

You do NOT have to or need to accept that! I thought I could never stop drinking sodas all day, and now it's been over a month since I had one. I thought I could never walk 10,000 steps a day, and now I do more than that some days. I thought I would be fat forever, but now I KNOW I won't. You can do this, and we are all here for you!

In Georgia don't give up. I have the same problem as you. I have no problems with food before 6 pm or so as I am usually preoccupied with work etc (though I can eat anytime if not). I'll even have a nice healthy dinner. Then some little switch turns on and I just want to eat everything in sight. I know in the back of my mind I could walk away, distract myself, whatever. However, in that moment I know I really don't WANT to. The emotional boost I get, however temporary, is more than my goals. It is an addiction.

The good news is I have been able to break the habit, the problem for me is sticking to it. Three years ago I lost over 50 lbs and the same 5 yrs ago. I took baby steps and went through long periods when I ate normally with no urge to binge. However as soon as I would have a stressful event or something in my life, I would go back to my old habits because I just craved that emotional comfort I get from food.

However, I did do it, and I'm back on the horse again. Trying to get back there. I am still struggling but find if after dinner, I have a small healthy snack every hour after dinner until I go to bed, I've been getting better. I'm talking 6 or 7 crackers with peanut butter, a piece of fruit, even chips and cookies in small portions. I know this is still adding to my calorie intake but in a more controlled manner. I am still losing weight and s time passes it gets easier and I find sometimes I forget to even have a snack at all.

All I'm saying is keep trying! Sometimes it just takes a couple nights of doing something different to help break a habit.

You could be building muscle, Muscle weighs more then fat

You don't have to accept that this is the way it is unless this is what you want. There are very few things we can control 100% in life. VERY FEW! We can control what we put into our mouths and how much!

I thnk you need to focus on what you are eating during the day. It may be low calorie, but it is obviously not filling and satisfying. Cut out processed foods. Eat lean meats, veggies and fruits. I have cut out dairy and grains and I have never felt better!

Also keep an HONEST food journal, if you put it in your mouth you have to write it down. Along with that write down the time of day and how you felt when you were eating. It will help you see patterns in your eating/emotions.

Shut off the television! Find a hobby, do crossword puzzles, learn to knit, or paint. If your hands are busy you are less likely to be putting food in your mouth.

Make sure you are drinking enough liquids. Water is best but if you can't do plain water do herbal tea or decaf coffee. Stay away from artificial sweeteners, try Stevia. It is a natural zero calorie sweetner. Many people mistake thirst for hunger and eat when they really should be drinking.

The only reason to accept being overweight is because that is what you want to choose.

I want to reiterate two points made above:

1. Eat like a King at breakfast, a Prince at lunch and a Pauper at dinner.

2. Brush your teeth and go to bed when you're done!!

I totally relate! I turn into a different being at night. My human brain says, "Oh no, my darling, we mustn't have sustenance until the morn!" But the bear in me is already growling and snarfing down Oreos!!

Or buy only "dainty" things. Hard cheese and a glass of wine was my dinner once! Guess what, I was full all night!!

Good Luck, you can do this!!

Inky

Just keep putting your BEST foot forward,I too struggle so much with binge eating at night,but dont accept this defeat and rise above it,Best wishes to you,You can do this