I've started over so many times you'd think I'd know how to start by now...but yet again here I am, lying in bed swearing that when I wake up it will all be different, knowing deep down it probably won't be (yes, everyone feel free to criticize my attitude now).

As for my "stats" i'm 28, 5'6" and am 198lbs. I'd love to be somewhere around 155lbs ultimately - I can't remember a time of my life when I wasn't "fat" or at least uncomfortable in my own skin. I've tried every diet (including some that would be considered eating disorders) and ultimately nothing has really worked for either weight loss or my lifestyle.

So here's what I currently do - I am extremely active but my activity level varies based on my life situation (i'm currently in medical school and have drastically decreased my activity level from 2hours in the gym/day to 45 minutes 3x/week). I've done pilates and kickboxing. I have been an internationally ranked athlete most of my life and only gave up my competing lifestyle to come to medical school this past summer. Now I'm just lifting 3x/week for 45 minutes, and trying to work in some cardio for 30 minutes 3x/week.

I don't eat fast food, i drink 3L of water/day, and i am a fairly competent cook (so there are very few chinese food binge nights). But despite all of this I cannot seem to get my diet and activity aligned to make any sort of dent in my actual weight or appearance. No matter what i give up (a year ago i stopped drinking soda and started chugging water all day) the scale doesn't shift (downward), my body composition doesn't change, and my body inches don't change.

So what do I do? i've been told I eat too little to lose weight, that I eat too many carbs, that I should be eating 2200 calories/day, that I should be eating 1200 calories/day. I have tracked and measured and graphed and photographed every aspect of my life and my physique on and off for years without any progress. Every month i try to restart and almost immediately get overwhelmed. I have found that the few online forums i've tried to reach out to have been filled with empty enthusiasm. while I appreciate their good intentions, it feels, impersonal at best. I'd love to find someone who actually motivates me to be accountable and to stay on track, or at least a community that shares the ins and outs of this whole journey rather than just blind positivity.

I'm going to keep up with this site, with commenting and posting. For real this time. If you want a buddy to shoot back and forth with, I'm your girl. I'll motivate you and we can share ideas, spills, and triumphs.

Sorry for the long rant - Hopefully my next few posts will be a little less long winded and a little more positive! Good luck to all

Hay and welcome ABarta!

First of all, chin up, Im here to help lol.
Now I am by no means the type of person to be giving useful information to someone who seems to be so darn active. But I will do my best.

The issue you have is since you lift, your muscel mass must be pretty high (is this what you competed doing?) And I'm sure you know that muscel weights more than fat and blah blah blah...

But by the sounds of it you seem to be doing a lot of the right things..... Now in my opinion, since you are working out the way that someone should be, I honestly think that the 1200cal a day is possibly the worst idea in the world. Your muscels need fed, YOU need fed to be able to keep up the good work. Now as an athlete you are probably used to carbing up, which is possibly something you might need to assess on whether your over carbing. But to burn off the fat you really need to be eating a high protein diet (which I'm sure you have also heard before).

A lot of the diet advice out there is actually not built for people who live pretty active lives. I am sure many dietitions feel that if your over active then you should not have weight issues.

Have you used yet one of these calorie counting apps? I'm not sure how good mine would be where you live, but I use Myfitnesspal. If you have spent a week using one of these then you might have a better idea at where you might be exceeding, carbs/protein/fat.

I personally feel if you did an 1800cal diet for a week and you saw no results at all...... then and you have kept honest to the cal counting app..... you need to see a doctor.

It might not be great advice but I hope its at least got your brain ticking.

Caireen

ABarta! You have come to the right place for a supportive community! I think Caireen is right on that you need to up your calories since you are that active. Just like your body will hold onto its water stores if it thinks you aren't taking in enough water, it will absolutely do the same thing with calories. It's trying to save you from yourself, lol! So feed it enough calories and it will let you burn some off. I only do a moderate bit of exercising, but I am sure there are people here who do much more who can help guide you. Glad to have you here! Good luck!

Thanks for the responses!! I'll come back with a bit more background -

Caireen - I compete(d) in horseback riding (specifically show jumping) so basically the furthest thing from weight lifting ever! (and a sport dominated by people who weigh a collective 100lbs). I don't lift anything extreme but prefer that to treadmill/cardio type activities (though I love boxing and riding is very aerobic but in a different way). I always sort of used the lifting as an excuse "oh I'm bigger because i lift weights" but really I know that I don't lift nearly enough for me to justify carrying this much weight. That being said after about 4 months of forcing myself to lift I really love it. I just wish I could see my muscles and really have an opportunity to use them through all this fat (like I feel like I could definitely do a pull up...if i only had to pull up 150 lbs...pulling up 200 is too hard)

I have a body fat % scale and it hovers around 40% and change. That's way more than I should have if lifting was the source of my added weight :/
Lastly, I've done loseit (and MFP and probably every other one) on and off. I actually recently went back to loseit. My problem becomes the fact that I do cook a lot. I felt these apps were really pushing me to go to chain restaurants or eat packaged foods, so i could log things that could be readily scanned and looked up. Trying to put in every ingredient I use is completely exhausting and I found it so much more effort than it was ever worth. If anyone has any ideas as to how to make this work more towards my lifestyle I'm open to suggestion!!

I'm hoping that above all keeping a community and staying accountable (which are the two things I've never really succeeded at) will be the real difference this time around. I am good at yelling at people, and great at getting yelled at. I love workout plans and charts and measuring and all that bullshit (and long walks on the beach, and sunsets...oh wait that's a different profile)...But I'm here for motivation if I get it in return

PS: I went to see a doctor after about 6 months of serious increase in activity, decrease in calories, and no change in weight. We checked thyroid (nothing wrong) and he did a metabolic breath test that said i should basically be able to eat 2200 calories per day and still at least not gain weight.

Gawd your story just sounds so familiar at parts and its a bit scary.

I think If you love to lift and kick box then keep it up. The lifting is very much a popular thing just now and its pretty easy to find somewhere that does the bootcamp style classes. Obviously it is difficult while a med student to even have spare time in the day to scratch your butt. If you can make it work then that would be a great place to start and keep going.

I totally understand with the horses, my cousins wife trains racehourses and she is possibly close to 200lbs, she never managed to loose it after she had her kid. She is so selfconsious about not being a skinny little mini like the rest of them.

I think my app works just now because I buy my fresh meat from the store and the app knows all the information about it which is good. And it has a large directory of fresh veg and fruit products which works to my advantage. But it is possible that it is only good for those using it in the UK for fresh food.

I am good at charts I love charts It really keeps me on track and I love to see it written out with all the changes I have made.

Maybe what you need is to not weigh yourself so often, but to track inches? have you tried that instead? celebrate inches lost instead of weight? or are you suffering with weight and not inches?

I mean I do not look 308lbs, I think if some of my friends new what I weigh they would pass out in disbelief. Which makes me think that even if I got down to a size 10 (US) 14 (UK) I would possibly still be heavier than most people in the same dress size. Ive never really been light.... I like to think I have heavy bones lol.

I move house into the city this time next month, I have actually been thinking about trying to find a kick boxing class... I take it you enjoy it?

absolutely try the kick boxing. I'm not sure what it is over seas but in the US most of the kickboxing type places are really cardio kickboxing less than actual competitive. I think in that case, it depends on what you're into. I really fell in love with the Muay Thai, actual sparring/blocking/punching thing and never really found a rhythm when just punching a bag. That being said, it's a workout either way. As with most things you get what you put into it but it was such an amazing release.

Personally, i measure myself weekly and have decreased my weigh ins from daily to bi weekly. I might decrease more to just weekly depending on how things continue. I need to lose both the pounds and the inches...

I've also never been light. I know even if i waisted away i'd still have my line backer shoulders and big thighs...but i'd like if those thighs didn't jiggle...or to get rid of the rolls in my arms. It seems this was a good move over to 3FC and that the people here will really keep me going and provide some good insight...

I think I might have a shot at the kick boxing. We have this class at my uni called body box? basically a class based on boxing moves which looks quite fun but i have no idea if i will be able to keep up with all the fit minis that go along lol.

I really hope that someone maybe at either of your fitness classes will be able to give you professional advice about how to move and skulpt those issues. If you do manage to get some advice from them, let us know. This lets us know that you havent given up lol. Stick in there, you will eventually see some improvements. Remember its better to maintain than gain...