I became a widow on December 25, 2014. Since then I have gained 40 pounds of the previous 53 pounds I had lost. We had only been married for 3 months and had been together for 3 years.
I don't care about what I look like, just getting out of bed, going to work and coming home has been a struggle. I have no desire to work but since we had purchased a new car in October and moved into a new apartment on December 1st I have no choice. I am barely sleeping. I have no desire to exercise as this was something we always did together and I am physically and emotionally just to tired.
I am an emotional eater. For the last six months all I have ate is fast food, snack cakes, potato chips and I drink Pepsi by the gallon. This was something that I had learned to control in my previous weight loss journey, but with his death all control went out the window. Before his death I was drinking 100 ounces of water daily and now water is just something I bathe or swim in.
I have made a conscious decision that it is time to make a change. I feel horrible, I look horrible and I am almost back to my starting weight from 2011. I said I would never be here again and yet here I am sitting looking at 300 pounds in the very near horizon.
I am sure there will be lots of stumbles, slip-ups and tears while I try to figure this process out again. I know I can do this I have done it before. I also know I can not do this without the support, friendship and love of you folks that are going through this weight loss journey also.
