Hi!

Just joined this fantastic forum. I won't bore you with my whole life history, but to stay within the last couple of weeks; they have been awful. Due to medical conditions I ended up admitted in hospital several times (cortisol crisis etc), missed a vacation abroad and job seminars etc. My whole body is out of balance and sick. So what do I do to in this "crisis"? I do what I always do (just realized how severe of a case I am) - I eat. And eat, and eat, and eat. And feel shame, and more shame and so on. Of course this won't help my body at all but I can't stop myself from stuffing my face. I want to get healthier, not the other way around!

My plan is to try to quit sugar and flour (that's my main problem sources, chocolates, cakes, bread...) and that should benefit inflammations and other illnesses. But I need support! My family has zero understanding and are all thin. I'm the overweight one, and soooo tired of it. If there is anyone else here who is planning to loose 20-30 kg (I'm swedish, so not used to pounds), with emotional eating difficulties, and would like a "buddy" in the process, please contact me. And anyone who has succeeded - please say something that can help me out of this dark eat-shame-circle. Thank you!

It sounds like you have trouble caring for yourself without using food. You may want to explore other ways to boost your well being that don't revolve around eating.

Although I've succeeded for the most part in weight loss (used to be heavier than my current ticker shows), I am still an emotional eater and I'd say one thing you might consider is that it is more common than not (my opinion) for people in today's society to have emotional eating difficulties, so the first thing you may need to do is ditch the shame. As you say, that's not helping.

A message board can help, you may need to talk to someone in real life such as a health professional who can provide the emotional support you feel you are not getting with your family.

Be well. Get rid of the guilt and the food will follow.

Sage2 is absolutely right, it's the shame and guilt that's keeping you on the overeating merrygoround. It's a vicious circle of eating and shame, and shame leads to more eating and more shame. Eating is not a moral decision, the diet industry tries to get you to believe it is but it's not! Whether you eat meat, or are vegan or low carb or paleo or calorie counting, it's just a method of feeding yourself and falling off the wagon causes intense intense feelings of shame and guilt.

I certainly understand that sugar can be a difficult food to eat moderately. I like to keep it out of the house. But if you do eat some it's important not to beat yourself up about it, it's just food. You're not breaking any laws, hurting other people or even hurting yourself. I find that if I keep vigilant about not thinking thoughts of guilt that it is easier to make better food choices.

Guilt and shame make us volatile. They make us feel like caged animals and caged animals react angrily. This is why we binge.

To the 3 commenters above: thank you so much for your nice and wise words! It feels a bit better already just knowing that strangers took the time to give some advice I will update how my "jump of the shame wagon" goes. /E