As the Beastie Boys so well put it, It's Sabotage.

"N," a woman in my office made huge changes in her life and lost about 60 pounds. Before the summer, she left her position with us to persue a career as a holistic nutritionist. She came to visit today and looks great. She's tanner and happier. I was hugging and catching up with her when "K" joined us.

K has been on some extreme diets and lost about 40 pounds, only to gain 60. The first thing she said to N was:

"Sheesh, N, you've lost a lot of weight. You're much too skinney. Promise me you won't get any skinner, I'm worried about your health."

This makes me VERY angry. The woman looks great. She hasn't lost an ounce. She's a freaking nutritionist for heaven's sake! I see this type of sabotage a lot. Especially from "our own kind!"

I've noticed that K is very eager to point out flaws and if you're dieting, she makes a special effort to "be your friend" only to tease you with goodies.

Does anyone else deal with sabotage? How do you discreetly kill a sabotaour?

poison in the coffee?

just kidding, just kidding...

That happens alot! For some people, seeing someone else's success in something points out their own sense of failure. To get all psychobabblish on you, they are really angry at themselves first and foremost.

The best way to piss off someone like that is to reach your goals and be really successful. Use that as motivation!

I remember during my second year at college, I lost 30 pounds (from 180 to 150) and I was very proud of myself. I couldn't wait to get home to see my family, especially my father, who had always picked on me about being his fat, non-athletic daughter. He took me out for a nice dinner and at the end of it he said, "So, are you going to go throw up now?". I was so mad!

Matt is right. Keep achieving your goals and express a lot of happiness and confidence in yourself. Nothing irritates negative people more than people who have the happiness that they lack.

I dislike sabotaguers. (Let's all murder that word as much as possible, ok people?) Sadly, I'm slightly guilty of it in the past, out of jealousy, you know? Now, as of, oh, about the beginning of this year, I've decided to be happy for everyone. I've been much happier as the result of it.

Alana, that story about your dad is horrible... you must've been heart broken. You'll show him some day. -Apryl

Most of the people at work are very suportive and try to keep any goodies away from me. I did have one guy that was always getting pizza and offering leftovers but he no longer works there anymore.

It is easy to be jelous of people who have lost and are at goal. But we just need to turn into inspiration to meet our goal.

People bring in donuts, cakes, etc all the time. I am scheduled to begin work in less than 6 hours and I just KNOW someone is going to bring muffins/bagels/donuts. I just eat my fresh fruit & my grilled chicken & smile.

I've done enough scolding, and while they all compliment me on how great I look, they still bring it in. It's the way I deal w/it that has to change.

On the other hand, Paula brings me buttercrunch lettuce, cukes & zukes from her garden.

Funny you should mention this. A friend of mine has recently lost 100 pounds. She has been struggling to get passed the initial 100 and has about 25 more to go. When I made the committment earlier this year to really go for it and exercise and eat right we were speaking about goals. Now, we are roughly the same age and height. I outweighed her by over 100 pounds when she began her diet and I need to lose about 225 to be at a decent weight. I told her my ultimate goal was about 185 to 195 (at 5'10" that is a reasonable weight -- I think). She currently weighs 198. She told me that I shouldn't think of going below 200 and should just concentrate on 200. I am getting the feeling that she does not want me to be lighter than her. Is that possible? I hate feeling this way.

Lisa

Hi lisa, maybe she did not mean it that way. Maybe she wants you to focus on the smaller goal knowing that you can make a new goal when you get there. I am setting my site for 240 but when I get there I'm going to see how I feel and maybe go to 220 or even 210.

Well, it was not intentional sabotage, but Dan woke me up this morning by bringing in a breakfast tray - coffee and blueberry pancakes - three HUGE ones drowning in syrup. What a sweet husband! What a giant load of calories!

I am fine with eating special treats - I can have a little if I'm hungry. its the portion control that's hard. Especially when someone has already served up my plate. Yes, I ate the whole stack. I'm not going to eat again today until I'm good and hungry.

I promise!

Alana! OMG, that is such a horrible story about your dad. My mouth would have just fell open, with no retort. Except maybe a heart sinking feeling of frustration. GRRRR! That makes me sooo angry!

Lisa I would totally have called that sabatoge. Howie is right, she might be trying to help you set small goals but if she's talking overall weight, she's trying to be the skinney friend. Yuck.

Angi I have the same problem with "special treats." Oprah once said you can find a "special occasion" everyday to toss your goals to the wind. It's friday! It's a beautiful summer day! My boss is out of the office! Etc etc etc.

I have a dear friend who is suffering from this very thing also. She has lost about 50 pounds this past year and is now a lovely size 8. After the initial, "you look great!" comments, all she gets now is "You are too skinny!" and other teachers at school give her a hard time about her Jenny Craig meals that she brings in telling her that she needs to really eat and quit starving herself. I feel so bad for her!

Hi everyone,

I just joined 3 fat chicks today and am really enjoying reading all the interesting discussions and thought I'd join in this one.

I am my greatest saboteur, I think that deep down I think I don't deserve to be slim and healthy, but I am now addressing this and taking the time and effort to invest in myself.

I never get much support when I diet, probably because I've 'cried wolf' too many times with my yo-yo dieting. But I really believe in myself at the moment and my positive attitude must have rubbed off because my partner has now joined me on my diet which is a big help - no more suggesting pizza every night!

I've decided to keep quiet this time, especially with my parents who like Alana's will always find something negative and hurtful to say.

I figure I am doing this for myself and it's down to me if I suceed or not. But then again, I'm only on my first week, so my motivation is at it's highest - my opinion might change after a few months!

I want to lose around 100lb but I'm just focusing on half stone goals as otherwise I know I will get overwhelmed and sabotage myself. I've just finished my first week and lost 2lb - it feels good that I am taking control at last!

Be happy


Amanda

Welcome Amanda!!!

Is a stone about fourteen pounds? I read a lot of British authors, and have been trying to figure that out!

Take care and post often!
Sherry

Welcome Amanda. I call mine my 10 step diet plan. I took the total amount of weight I want to lose and diveded it up into 10% goals. Every 10% I take a new picture and post it on my web site. I've made it through two mini goals so far. Glad to see you here and I agree with you we are sometimes are own worst enemy.

Welcome Amanda!!

I have a cousin Amanda, and I've always called her Amanda Panda. Even though she is 22 & a mother, she's still Amanda Panda.

This is a great place to come to get re-motivated. Glad to have you here.