I'm in a rut. Summer is around the corner and I told myself months ago I'd be in shape to at least wear tank tops and shorts. Well that didn't happen, even getting a gym membership didn't help. I haven't gone in like 3 months. I've gained 10 pounds from overeating. I'm starting to feel like a black hole again. I never feel full.

I had a pretty nasty heartbreak during the summer and I've stopped caring about how I look. Part of me feels like there's no point because there will always be someone prettier than me. I feel comfortable looking haggard because when I try to look good I just feel stupid. Like I'm trying way too hard.

I don't want to hang out with friends because all they want to do is take pictures. I look huge in all of them. I'm ashamed and they don't understand that i don't want to be in these pictures.

I eat a pretty normal lunch at work. A sandwich and some nuts and a banana. But when i get home from work I'm so stressed from traffic and the day I open the freezer and begin. Yesterday I poured bbq wings on the pan and was concerned i took out too much but they didn't even fill me up so I had more. I blew off this guy I was seeing recently because i couldn't comprehend why he'd like me, literally my thigh was as wide as his waist. I think he got annoyed of me making excuses because he vanished.

How do I get back on track and make this a positive thing? There was once I went from 150lbs to 135 without any trouble or discouragement, it was fun and challenging. Now i feel like a failure if I face the scale. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I need support. I've tried going to a gym with a friend but we ended up because enablers to each other.

Hey! My name is Nicola-

I can completely relate to this post! More specifically with not wanting to hang out with friends because of the pictures. I am just painfully self conscious. I wish I could accept that being 6'0, muscular, and broad shouldered would mean that I weigh more then the average person... But I just can't get past it! I am constantly frustrated with how much I weigh and how big I am. It doesn't help things that lots of clothing stores do not have anything that is long enough or can fit my shoulders! UGH!

Anyways, I find that I get on a roll and lose about 15 pounds- but when I get to 202 (where I am now) I just frustrated and eat what I want and gain weight back only to get down to 202 again! I would love to get into ONEderland and I am SO FREAKING CLOSE!

I hope this helps at all... I know reading your post helped me Let's hop back on this bandwagon and keep on ridin'

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Diet wise, may be you should have more healthy snacks readily available so that you have that instead of overeating or not being full with your meal (ie the bbq wings).
Boy wise: I was the same way for a long time. It's a complete self esteem issue. Just remind yourself that you are worth it. This guy is interested in you. Stop being so hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know.
when you initially lost weight, why was it "fund and challenging"? What did you do that made it so? Remember, this isn't a race. You can lose the weight slowly and that's fine.

finally, if you are really dreading the scale, then may be you should just measure yourself and go by that. I refused to step on a scale when I first started because I knew it would just discourage me. I had a Quantum scale, which shows you pounds lost or gained, not an actual weight number. I weigh myself every morning now, but that doesn't work for everyone.

Good luck to you!

On an emotional aspect....you have to try to be positive and love yourself no matter what. I don't know you, but I know that there is so much more to you than the number on that scale.

Come to Australia... winter is coming and give yourself that 6 months extra

I am getting married in October and having my honeymoon in the US. I'm chasing winter baby

I'm a mom to teenagers and I'm guessing much older than you so while this may sound harsh, please take it as the voice of experience.

Honey if you don't like yourself at 150, getting down to 125 isn't going to make any difference. Check out mybodygallery dot com and you will see women your height absolutely rocking that weight. I know looking at those galleries helped me get a better idea of what I really look like. 15 -25 pounds is nothing if you do your hair and makeup and choose your clothes wisely.

So instead of focusing on your diet, maybe you first need to work on your self esteem and why you see yourself so negatively. I hate hearing that you're isolating yourself. You need to like yourself first, and then focus on getting into the best possible shape.

You might be suffering from some depression. Maybe instead of food you could take baby steps with exercise. Something where you get some sunshine and break a sweat would do wonders for your mood. If the first friend didn't work out find a different exercise buddy or do it on your own.

You can totally do this, but don't let the scale decide if you look good or not. Take it from an old lady - don't waste your young, relatively thin years telling yourself you're a blob. Tell yourself you're a healthy, vibrant person who might be carrying a couple of extra pounds but isn't letting that stop her.

You are not a failure!

Practice, positves! Not negatives!

Would you talk to, and or say the things you say to yourself, to your friends, family, co workers?

If the answer is NO, you should not say to yourself, or think, those thinks about yourself!

You are the most important person in the world to yourself.

I ran accross a quote the other day.

"I did not think I was a bully, until I listened to how I talked to myself!"

Take a breath, you are a good person. Change takes time. That is ok. Some days will be better than others. Just keep in mind, you are worth it, and be kind to your self, pat your self on the back. Celebrate success, learn from the off days. We all have them!