When you're tempted by something really yummy, like your favorite treat being baked in the oven, or a dessert buffet, or smell popcorn at the movies, if you eat it, you're going to gain weight if you don't make up for those extra calories. But if you pass it up, it's the same as if you were never tempted. How is this fair? I think we should get bonus points and once you get 3500 you can trade them in and lose 1 pound.

I could use those bonus points this week. I've been good. I mean really good. Sticking to my WOE, exercising, never exceeding my daily calories. All this despite the fact that my daughter, who is in a culinary arts program, has been cooking up a storm. I even helped her make French toast cupcakes with maple cream cheese frosting decorated with cinnamon sugar and bacon. Bacon! Yet I didn't so much as lick a finger. And I weighed in on Saturday at *exactly* the same weight as last week. *sigh*

So now I'm wondering how to fix this. I had a hysterectomy last year but still have my ovaries. I know I ovulated a couple of weeks ago. Is it possible I'm retaining water as though it were TTOM? Does your body still do that? I was in peri menopause before the surgery so I haven't really been able to track to see if there's any correlation.

Anyway sorry for the rant and if this was TMI. I'm just 1.7 lbs from the next weight decade and so frustrated that I'm no closer than I was last week.

It can be very damaging to think of yourself in terms of "good" or "bad." You can't sit in constant judgement of yourself. You are not a good person just because you avoided a cupcake. Everytime you use willpower to avoid something you want it builds a charge around that food and eventually this causes a binge. And then when the person has binged they can't understand why they succumbed to the binge. Well, this is why. Because you're constantly having to make a decision to "be good."

Personally, I find that the times where a weight just won't budge is the time I need to stay the most vigilant. I'm tempted to throw in the towel, even though it's not logical.

If you hang in there and keep doing great, the scale will move. Just think how glad you'll be that you didn't give in.

And I completely agree with you - I wish we got bonus points, too! How awesome would that be?

Thanks for the encouragement and reminder, PennyB. I'll buckle down and keep working.

In 3 weeks I've lost all of 0.6 lbs. This is killing me!

Here is what you do.

Figure a daily amount of calories, however, build into your program, some "flex" calories, that you can use, or not use, it's up to you! Base this on a weekly count.

The flex cals, do NOT roll over, from week to week.

Available if you need it, does not need to be used, if you do not need it.

Weight Watchers does that for us! WW teaches us how to balance, good days, bad days, holidays, and how to handle, the "whoops"!

As far as hormones and ovaries, I had a complete hysterectomy, 23 years ago, at 32. Great! Turned 52, having personal summers "AGAIN".

Doc, says, yup, normal! *rolls eyes*

Life is life! *deep sigh*

We have to take what we have and figure out how to work with it.

I have the same issue that I don't lose weight quickly.

Maybe the "bonus points" is something that you can come up with as a reward system, when the number on the scale doesn't go down.

As I read your post, I started to wonder if this is something that I should do myself because losing weight is hard for me too and the scale isn't enough of a reward sometimes, you know????

Maybe you do get "bonus points" (like a manicure or a book or something that you can afford) if you do stick to your diet religiously or you do something amazing like NOT eating a lick of frosting when you're daughter is cooking... Being "good" should be rewarding itself, but I think we can treat ourselves if we do something amazing with our willpower/habits.

Why not?

The scale can be affected by water weight, TOM, salty foods, whatever, so why not reward good behavior?

Positive reinforcement. Maybe I will start a jar and put in $5 every day that I have a great calorie/food day. Or something like that... I need to think about it.

Rana you're a genius. I love that idea. Maybe not $5 a day but a quarter or something with bonus money on especially challenging days. Brilliant!

There are apps that gamify your life.. You can set goals and earn points I would guess when you meet the goals.

The more I think about it, the more I LOVE the idea of giving yourself points for resisting things!

I just read (yet another) article about the "weight problem" in the US and one of the things they mentioned was how food is EVERYWHERE now -- there's candy and chips at stores that have nothing to do with food -- Staples and Office Depot, Home Depot and Ace Hardware to name a few. Gas stations used to have, at most, a few old bags of chips or candy bars -- now they are mini-marts! Bed Bath and Beyond has a ton of candy at the checkout, Drug Stores have huge candy aisles, etc, etc. And I love Starbucks dearly, but they have created a whole new category of daily indulgence. The experts in the article called this constant availability of food an "obesigenic environment."

The result is that those of us who are consciously restricting must say "no" a thousand times a day. It's hard! It wears us down. It repeatedly reinforces the feelings of denial and sacrifice.

So I say, reward yourself! I'm going to look into one of those gamify-ing apps, or just give myself good old-fashioned gold stars on my calendar.