After avoiding taking pictures for so long, I did take one today at a group outing and of course I hated what I saw...
But for the first time, I felt a strong remorse for showing such disrespect to my body, and for so long. The past 10 years have been quite rough on me.
Life kept happening and I kept taking it out on my body. Why have I been so cruel to my body? What wrong did it do to me?
All I have to do to feel good about myself again, to lose weight, is to start showing respect to my body.

Don't feel remorse. Eat the right stuff and your body heals itself and comes right back. Food is medicine. Nearly everything about me is fixed now, all through the right food and a little exercise with no long-term consequences for my 20 years + of obesity. My skin, hair and eyes all went nice. And my mind too. Can't ask for much more than that.

Ian said it. Good food really is the best medicine. And just as you can injure your body by feeding it the wrong foods, you can love and nurture your body by giving it the right (e.g. healthy, natural) foods daily. Best of luck and remember you are worth it.

I agree with everyone who said that the right food will heal your body, but don't forget exercise. You can lose weight without exercise, and most people hate it. But now, in my old age, I am learning too late how important it is, even for those who have no weight to lose. Yesterday, I had an "I've fallen and I can't get up moment" when DH had to come and help me. As many times as I've seen that commercial I never thought it would be me. As I got older and larger I have let exercise go, and now my muscles don't have the strength to get me up off the floor. I plan on working on that, and soon, but I want to warn the younger people not to let it happen to them.

That I deserve to be healthy and fit and that I'm worth taking care of are two of my motivators for staying on track. I used to see it the other way around - I deserved to binge on junk food and baby myself physically (i.e., not exercise frequently) because I'm completely on my own and have no other comfort in life. But that wasn't being good to myself. I deserve to have someone be good to me, and the fact of that matter is the only one that's going to do it is myself. It takes tough love at times, but I've always been a believer in tough love anyway.

I get that. I have IBS and have been eating junk for years. Frequent runs to the bathroom, it was terrible. I kept telling myself I was going to eat better and hopefully get it under control. I've bee dealing with it for 11ish years and only now really started treating my body right.
It gets easier,you start becoming happy with the benefits you reap. I don't worry about taking my son to a park without a bathroom anymore,etc.
My clothes fit better. You get this zen mode, don't know how else to describe it,why these changes stick.

You're not alone OP. I wonder the same from time to time, but staying here I'm sure we'll get the confidence to get back on the road to recovery.

I wouldn't call it being cruel to your body as much as self-medicating. Eating mindlessly and abundantly is pleasurable and soothing, or else people wouldn't do it. You just need to find different ways to self-medicate, as we all do.

F.

I would just emphasize that Eating mindlessly and abundantly is TEMPORARILY pleasurable and soothing...

In my case, I'd eat, not just to experience that pleasure, but most at times I'd overeat intentionnaly to hurt my body. Sometimes I did it to the extent of vomiting, other times my tummy would hurt of being so full that I couldn't walk, sit, stand, or lay down.

I guess it's because I don't have the guts to cut myself like others do. I'd rather intentionally fill up my stomach so I could feel it pain.

Well, yes. Most pleasures are temporary.

F.