So a little background: At my highest weight I was well over 345 lbs. (I believe it was a lot more than that but I stopped weighing myself at a certain point) and I got down to 241 lbs right before I uprooted my life completely ten months ago and moved 400 miles away from my home to start a new job in a new city.

Things are going extremely well for me both professionally and personally. I love my new job and all of the opportunities it opened up for me. The place I work is great which is a huge change from my former job (the reason I left). My personally life is even better-I've been dating my boyfriend for eight months now and he is the love of my life. In a few months we are moving in together and have talked about marriage. I know for a fact he is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life.

Everything is great. Wonderful. Except for the fact that I've regained 30 lbs since I've moved and as of this morning its closer to about 35 lbs. I have completely lost my way when it comes to eating right and exercising. I maintained my weight for a couple of months, lost some of that 30 for a little while and then ultimately ended up where I am now. Feeling like a complete failure. I feel horrible about my body and so incredibly discouraged about all of the weight I gained.

I know that 30 lbs doesn't seem like a lot but to me it feels like 300. I've stopped running and working out all together and just can't seem to get my groove back. What discourages me the most is that it seems like when my professional and personally life were absolute crap-I was losing the most weight. Now that those two aspects are my life are great-I'm gaining. Its frustrating. I can't seem to focus on all three of those things at one time. Something always breaks down.

I think the hardest part was admitting that I'm back to square one. Not with my weight since I'm still maintaining a loss but with how I went about losing. I'm back to baby steps when it comes to my eating and exercise (can't run three miles like I used to) and that just makes me sad.

But I'm ready to get back on track and writing all of this is a way for me to hold myself accountable. I feel discouraged but I know what I have to do-and I know that its not going to be easy.

The most important part of your post is that you are here!

My original weight was similar to yours, I dropped over 100lbs and then gained 60lbs back in less than 6 months. I had some personal losses and wanted to give up on everything (except eating, of course).

Somehow, some way...I got a grip before I gained it all back (and then some, probably). I didn't start losing weight right away but I stopped the gaining of more. That's what you are doing right now! Trust me, I know that feeling of gaining 30 and feeling like 300.

I had to stop running too, it was too hard carrying this all around. It sounds so weird but the last time I was this weight, I felt light like a feather. Not this time though.

In your post you wrote that you are back at square one. But you aren't. You are so much further along than that!! You had a slight regain and you are still maintaining a huge loss! Don't be so hard on yourself, celebrate that!

I'm excited for your future with your boyfriend. And soon a wedding to plan!

We will be here for you. I try to take my weight loss 10lbs at a time and then it seems to be less overwhelming. We have good days and bad days. The only important thing is to have more good days, whether exercising or eating or both.

Nothing about this is easy, we all know that. But we proved to ourselves that we've done it before and we can do it again.

I always try to remember the quote "There is someone wishing to be where you are right now." When I was in the 300s, I wanted to be in the 200s so badly. I never thought I'd be, I thought I was destined to be almost 350lbs for the rest of my life.

I can't wait to read your updates, you are going to do great. I just know it.

TheLastStraw: I seriously started tearing up reading your post. Thank you for sharing your words they mean so much!

Awww I didn't mean to make you tear up! Just wanted you to know you aren't alone.