Welcome to the September thread. I'd like to start it off by addressing Catlover's last post in the August thread. She asked "How do you take care of yourself emotionally?"

Often we are told to take care of ourselves emotionally by going for a spa treatment. While that may be a nice and enjoyable distraction, there is no spa treatment that will truly address our emotional needs. So we must be careful not to confuse treating ourselves with meeting our emotional needs.

The first step to treating our emotional needs is to identify them. Self reflection is necessary, write in a journal, meditate, and talk to someone. If you find yourself in a binge think about it later and try to figure out "what was happening to me right before I binged?" Asking yourself the right questions and being honest and upfront with your answers will go a long way. Identifying your needs is the most important step towards finding a solution.

Hi Everyone! I haven't been to the Intuitive Eating section in so long I can remember when. I've gone back and forth between calorie counting and intuitive eating for a really long time. I decided to give Intuitive Eating, combined cutting out white foods for the most part (which isn't really IE), but I've been told I've got to get rid of white foods due to a high insulin resistance. So, I'm trying to cut out most sugars, white breads, white rice, white pasta, and so on. Actually I'm not going to be eating many whole grains either, but I'm not discounting them altogether. I'm eating in a way that I can stick with for a lifetime. I considered continuing to count calories, but decided to give up the calorie counting, at least for the month of September and see how it goes.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone!

I love the question about how we take care of ourselves emotionally. I'm learning to give the things I have no control of over to God. Reading my bible and praying give me comfort and also strength when I need it.

@Wannabe- Identifying emotional needs is really important for me. I tend to automatically repress feelings and then get angry when they build up. This happened over the weekend. I didn't feel my feelings, I just kept getting more irritable and more irritable until finally I was wanting to explode. It took me a few minutes of thinking about what was wrong before I figured out that I just had some feelings that I needed to express. I find that writing letters to myself or others is really helpful. It lets me express my feelings but in a controlled way.

@Liz- Hi! It is possible to do IE with some restrictions. I have been having the worst migraines lately- every five days where before it was every 3-6 months. It turns out that it's chocolate that's doing it! So I'm not eating any chocolate or drinking anything with caffeine in it- even decaf coffee has a little bit of caffeine. It's not a problem with IE because I genuinely don't want to take in any caffeine- there is no effort involved because I don't want to get a migraine.

Hi Liz I do hope you stick with us for the long haul. While it's possible to do IE with some dietary restrictions it's not so possible with time restrictions. So doing it on a temporary basis "for September" can and will cause more problems than it will solve. It makes your progress conditional which just perpetuates the diet mentality. The process of legalizing food can take months even years, so I'd hate for anyone to give up after timed trial.

Locke, I've been struggling with caffeine lately, I've been having acid reflux problems and trying to cut down. I went from one cup per day to half a cup. Not sure I can cut down anymore. Bummer on the chocolate.

@Liz

I didn't notice you were stopping CC for September only. IE is on a different timeline than most diets. When most people decide they want to lose weight they want to do it as quickly as possible. IE isn't a quick weight loss plan. I've been doing it for 6+ months and I have only lost about 25 pounds. If you're wanting to see results in four weeks you're probably going to be disappointed. IE is about changing your attitude towards food and that takes a long time. I am so happy with IE, however, that I wouldn't change anything. It really works for me but you have to have *patience*.

I haven't been around in a long time. I have been working at IE though. I feel like I'm not making progress, revert to my old LC ways which in turn makes me see I was making progress with IE. I think my biggest hurdle is not turning IE into the eat when hungry/stop when full diet. I guess I still have the hogwash in my head that it takes a "diet" to lose the weight. If I start eating healthy things I freak thinking I've gone back to dieting and start back with my horrible junk food habits. I guess I am very slow to catch onto things! I just wish this whole IE thing would just click for me one day! It's a lot of hard work..mentally!

@Wannabeskinny..I just started cutting back on caffeine as well. I have switched to the 1/2 caff coffee for now. I actually discovered that being on the "pill" was causing most of my acid reflux. I've heard it can do that and after recently having an endometrial ablation done and stopping the pill about 95% of my reflux is gone!

Hello all. I am reading the Overfed Head again to re-focus and re-group. It is so hard to get the diet mentality out of my head from years of calorie counting, restricting, food label reading, carb counting (I have type II diabetes) I still have the habit of thinking calories and food groups. The book I just read (the title is escaping me at the moment, but I posted it in the August thread) says to also look at how the food makes you feel. What does it do or not do for your body? I find that when I eat fruit without a protein I am hungry not long after, but when I couple it with protein it holds me up. Just food for thought. Have a blessed afternoon.

Thanks CountryLiving, I'm glad you figured out the cause of your reflux. I'm not on the pill so that can't be why I have reflux. Good to have you around.

Don't feel so bad TamTam, we all fall into the diet mentality from time to time. Just pull yourself out of it and keep on!

Confession - I think I'm binging right now. Not sure how long this binge will last or why I'm binging precisely. I feel physically awful, just awful. My body cannot handle the food I am eating right now, it's not used to it at all anymore. I am looking head on to a very stressful situation coming up in less than 3 weeks and I am procrastinating on my preparations for it BIG TIME. Instead I'm eating regardless of my hunger/fullness cues. They're hard to ignore now that I have spent so much effort into developing them lol but I'm trying my best to. This sucks so bad.

Confession - I think I'm binging right now. Not sure how long this binge will last or why I'm binging precisely. I feel physically awful, just awful. My body cannot handle the food I am eating right now, it's not used to it at all anymore. I am looking head on to a very stressful situation coming up in less than 3 weeks and I am procrastinating on my preparations for it BIG TIME. Instead I'm eating regardless of my hunger/fullness cues. They're hard to ignore now that I have spent so much effort into developing them lol but I'm trying my best to. This sucks so bad.[/QUOTE]

I don't remember what book I read but it stated one of the problems with over eaters is that we eat to avoid doing an unpleasant task. Why not treat yourself to a hot bath instead?

Thanks Wannabeskinny for starting a new thread, and for speaking to the notion of emotional self care.

Welcome to those who are joining or re-joining us!

Thank you all for your honesty and vulnerability.

I'm learning that the only way to get clear is, as you have stated, Wannabeskinny, to check in and identify the emotional need that is wanting to be cared for. I'm really not very practiced at that.

The more of this work that i do, the more I realize that I've become very disconnected from myself. When I recognize body hunger, and check in for what i might be hungry for, it's really a challenge. I try to get close, and then pay attention to what I am eating and how it feels when I am aware enough to. But there is till a lot of fear there. And shame.

When I reflect on my binging this weekend, and my emotional state, I'm aware that I really don't know how to express myself sometime. I'm not clear on what is going on, I just know I feel uncomfortable. And I would do just about anything to avoid the discomfort. i notice even as I write this, I just paused and looked around for something heavy to eat. The link I'm beginning to make (and subsequently see more frequently) is that heavy food, eaten in very very large quantities, serves a weight (literally and figuratively) for all the bubbling up of emotion. And, even as I write this, it doesn't make much sense to me. I would classify myself as very emotional. I cry very easily, I laugh pretty easily. Anger comes easy and quickly, and often goes as quickly, though I'm very good holding grudges. There is a certain type of energy that I notice that I can't name. It's like a tornado, too busy, too fast, too much stimuli, too many expectation from others on me, too many expectations I hold on myself, etc. Somehow, eating settles the energy, even though it is only temporary. In my head, I see it like rain on a dust storm, though it really is no where near that constructive.

It all seems connected, though I am still looking for the dots to connect.

It seems like the more I can be with the discomfort, the greater chance of peace.

Thanks for the safe space to process, share and be witnessed.

XOXO

Morning all. Well there was a fight at my house this morning. My diet Self had an argument with my IE self. I diet self said I SHOULD have oatmeal, egg whites and fruit (I like all of them) BUT my IE self WANTED egg over easy, toast and cantaloupe and milk. I am happy to say that my IE self won the argument and no one got hurt and breakfast was AWESOME!!!

If you don't mind I am going to post when I get the time what I am reading in the Overfed Head that strikes me as worthy of mentioning to get your feedback.

Have a blessed day all.

Hey ladies. I'm having a rough couple of days. I'm taking on new responsibilities at work so I'm stressing about that. It's also coming around to that time of month and I am very emotional. I had too much to eat over the weekend at a few meals but it balanced out because I wasn't hungry for most of the day after. I'm just tired and weepy. I'm trying to not let this turn into destructive thought patterns but it's hard. I just want to hate on myself and my body and blame myself for everything that's wrong in my life. When it comes down to it I'm just effin' lonely. I moved to the SF bay area three years ago to go to school and I haven't made any good friends since that time. I don't have any affection in my life right now. My parents are not very loving people, I don't have a significant other or any close friends. Most of the time I'm okay with that but sometimes it really hurts. Anyway I'm done ranting I just want to feel okay.

@WannabeSkinny I'm sorry your going through a rough time right now. Don't beat yourself up..just learn from it.

@Locke I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. Do you have any hobbies or other interests that maybe you can find a group that meets? Or maybe just something you've wanted to get interested in. I know exactly how difficult it is to make new friends as an adult. I'm very introverted and I really have to bring myself out of my shell to do things like that. Sometimes you meet people in the weirdest places!

I'm having a good day. Trying to be more positive about myself. I am my own worst enemy. I know the rebel in my "head" has done nothing but cause me destruction.

From the Overfed Head, first Chapter entitled Results not typical:
...I shared the belief that certain foods have the power to make you fat or thin. It was my Belief System about food -not the food themselves that kept me overweight. When I changed my thinking, I was able to shed the weight and keep it off, without a struggle.

Thoughts?

Hi Everyone. Thank all for your thoughts. I know you're right that I need to not pick a time frame for IE, since the main goal is to get over the control that food has over me. I made a decision today to get rid of my calorie counter, food scale, etc., so that I can work on getting this diet mentality out of my head. I've had it for so many years now that I hope it can be done.

It scares me to death to think about getting rid of all my "dieting" paraphernalia forever. I've used these tools for so long that it's going to be a hard thing to do. But I so want to start enjoying my life without obsessing anymore.

I have more I want to talk about, but I am so brain tired right now that I can't think straight.

Thank you for the warm welcome. Oh, and Wannabeskinny, I had a binge day today, too. I empathize so much with the binging. I hope you had a better day today.

I hope everyone has a peaceful night. I hope to find time to check in tomorrow. Take care all.