First of all, all of you have helped me, believe it or not. So thank you.
As for my response, it's funny because I WAS there once. I was eating well to the point where I easily rejected junk food and didn't crave. I enjoyed salads daily, I took into consideration the things I ate (not obsessively, just like "Well, this is not good. Hm, maybe I'll have something else.") And some people might disagree with this, but I, for the first time in my life, was living a healthy lifestyle imo. And whether it was my change of diet, or seeing the numbers go down on the scale, or both, I was in a happy place. The hardest part of this all is knowing that I once had that and could do it, if only I "could" do it, you know? At this point, it seems like I can't as much as I try. I can even make a list of all the things I did and SEE it all written out on a piece of paper-the best, for lack of a better term, WEIGHT LOSS GUIDE (specifically designed just for me)..... and it's just so hard to go back to that. And that was the only thing that ever helped me lose weight, so all these tips and tricks websites and books, and doctors have to offer have done nothing for me. I've tried them all.
As for the NO MORE JOKING comment I made, I meant where was the point in the "weight loss journey" where you officially began losing weight that one time (or one of those times) you DID lose all that weight. I can guess that most people who has lost weight has had that moment, because I'm 99% sure most people here, even in this thread alone, have tried to lose weight over and over and over and finally, after so many attempts, they managed to find it in them or something to lose 10 lb, 20 lb, 30 lb.. etc. And if you haven't reached that moment, not giving up will eventually work (I know it and good luck to me. Hoping I can, too.
) I hate dieting as well and am a strong believer that "dieting" isn't the way to weight loss. And like wannabeskinny said about dismissing thoughts like that, telling yourself it will work this time ends up not meaning anything and you're absolutely right about not thinking that way, at least for me. But sometimes for some people, there's a moment where it all clicks and they find the motivation to push through (similar to what happened to me, I can even name the date where I began losing those 100+ lb).
Also, I haven't been the most active user here. Seeing people succeed and join the monthly challenges with results month after month is a little depressing to me. Not in a horrible way, just it's like... I feel I don't belong because right now, I have nothing to offer and success stories just remind me of something that feels like I'll never have. Then part of all this, including all the replies here, also remind me I CAN do it, not sure how yet, but I just know I can. I'm in a negative place right now and I can admit that. And yes, this was my first time reaching out for help. I know it seems like I'm complaining and sure I am, because when you're in a difficult spot, trying this much drains the energy out of you and you just feel defeated.. not to mention everything else that life is throwing at you.
/endsadness