I have not posted on this forum before for depression, but it's been long overdue. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life, and have been on meds before. During hs and college I was put on lexapro and wellbutrin and was told I would "need them for the rest of my life". I was on them for three years, and became increasingly apathetic about my life, no real highs or lows. After a disturbing family situation, my Mom helped me to get off the meds, and after crying hysterically for everything I didn't cry for for 3 years, I felt much better.

Now it's 5 years since I got off the meds, and I'm having multiple symptoms, including sadness and depression. I don't want to go on depression meds again, because I feel like it's putting a bandaid on a bullet hole, and I feel like something bigger is happening. I posted about it on weight loss support, but here are my symptoms again:
-multiple sinus infections with painful swelling, snoring often
-Neck pain
-frequent headaches, migraines
-eyes are dry, sensitive, twitching, double vision at times
-irritability, depression, sadness.
-high cholesterol as a kid (haven't had it checked in years)
-Periods are heavy with very painful cramps
-Hair is more brittle and dry, scalp dry and itchy
-constipation
-trouble focusing, exhausted with plenty of sleep, foggy
-very shaky if I don't eat frequently
-weight loss very difficult, gain sometimes at a deficit.
I have an appointment with my gyno on the 20th, hopefully she will be able to help. In the meantime, I've been doing research. I have found that a lot of my symptoms line up with hypothyroid. I've also been reading that there is a link between depression and hypothyroid, a family history of diabetes and hypothyroid, as well as a link between people that were abused as children and inhibited thyroid functioning. I feel a little like a hypochondriac right now, but I fit all of those categories as well. Has anyone here struggled with depression and other issues to find something else was wrong? Sorry this is super long, I'm just going a little crazy right now.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I have dealt with depression as a young teenager but nothing to the magnitude you speak of. Have you tried therapy or counceling? Maybe your appointment can shed some light. Do you know what triggered it after 5 years? I truly hope you feel better very soon. Keep us updated on your progress. I'm praying for healing for you.

Many of those symptoms are indicative of hypothyroid, and also adrenal fatigue. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress. Anxiety/depression are very wearing on both mind and body and the symptoms are real. That doesn't make you a hypochondriac

I've seen your other posts and know you made an appointment with your doctor. You really need to have your blood work done and go from there. I know the waiting is tough

Make sure they do a full thyroid screen, not just TSH but also T3 Free and T4 Free. There is a lot of discussion going on about the meaning of normal ranges, and there is a school of thought that says the relative numbers (i.e. is T4 value higher or lower than T3 and/or TSH on a standardized scale) are a valuable diagnostic even if the absolute numbers fall within the normal range. They can also do an antibodies test on thyroid (Thyroid Peroxidase Ab) to see if an autoimmune problem may be affecting your thyroid. A lot of doctors won't order the antibody test unless your other numbers come back abnormal, but if you can get them to do everything at once, at least you won't have to pay for a second office visit.

I'm not a medical person, but I have a lot of thyroid issues in my family. I hope some of this is helpful to you.

I have a very good friend who has a similar story to what you posted above. But obviously you are a different person definitely get the blood tests done and see your doctor.

My friend has done well and really didn't go back on meds so she did this from memory but there may be more:
Took zinc, magnesium and b vitamin supplements
Listened to hypnosis for depression, anxiety and self esteem before she went to bed (just one a night)
Slept 8 hours a day
Increased vegetables
Did exercise for at least 30 minutes each day, even if just a slow walk.
Joined a sports club for a hobby and made new friends so she felt less lonely- she had a history of isolating herself when depressed so this was very very hard for her
Stopped drinking completely
Cut out dairy (for the brain fog)
Cut out gluten (can't remember what for)

She didn't do these all at once. I think she started with one and added a new thing each two weeks or so, on e she had the last things as part of her daily routine.

I think that was it.

Anyway she managed to get out of her funk, but she did get help from a holistic nutritionist I think it was.

I don't know if any of that helps, but I hope you work out a way to feel better, having seen her struggles over decades before this I understand a bit how horrible depression can be. Good luck and congratulations on your weight loss so far!

start203: Thank you for your support. I have done counseling in the past (highschool, college) as of right now I am not, but I am considering pursuing it. A lot of family issues have come to light in the past year that I've been dealing with. My father is a narcissist, abused us and my mother for years, not to mention cheating on my Mom with everyone he could meet. I'm also the child that he takes everything out on. For some reason he gets his jollies from my pain. I'm getting better at ignoring it, but I haven't really healed from it. So, yes, I should start going to counseling again, I agree that would be helpful.

However, I'm having so many other annoying symptoms that are messing up my quality of life, and in the situation in my home with my husband, we are happy and I'm not sad or depressed about that (just when my family calls it's a stressor! and I try to minimize that. If they are going to suck the life out of me, they can't talk to me much. that's my selfish rule).

fadedbluejeans: Thank you, I was wondering what tests I should beg the doctor for. I know they do TSH but that number seems so subjective considering the changes in the "acceptable" range. I will try and get her to do the antibodies too, because I don't want to have to come back another time (just seems illogical to me when you can do it all). I've seen her one other time, and I remember her asking me questions and examining my thyroid a year and a half ago. Hopefully since she checked it she will be open to listening to my symptoms. I've also been taking my temp before I get up in the morning and throughout the day (trying to accumulate data for her to look at) and so far it's been in the 96's in the mornings, and 97's throughout the day. I don't know if that will matter to her, but maybe it will help, I don't know.

anyway, enough rambling from me, thank you for your responses and support, I really appreciate it.