Hey guys, I've come and gone here for the last few years, and came back again a few months ago. The reason I'm posting my own topic, which I don't usually do, is because I'm having a massive depression spell because of an (of course) surprise bridal shower I had yesterday.

My friends told me were going on a picnic, because it's my birthday soon. They said we would dress up nice, have champagne, and fancy cheese on mini toasts. So I dressed up nice, they told me it was a surprise location, and they blindfolded me and took me to church, where a whole bunch of people were waiting, and shouted "Surprise!" Aha... a bridal shower.

Instead of champagne and cheese on toast, there was just tons of party food and a giant homemade cake. It was all beautiful and delicious. Apparently they were late bringing me, and they wanted me to start the "feast" of sorts, so I had to go up first. Long story short, the cake slices were too big but a woman hand-made it - I had to eat it in front of everyone in a chair on a stage while people took millions of pictures, all of which got uploaded to facebook this morning.

Some of them were cute - pictures of me with my friends, angled so that I'm mostly hidden behind my posse, but the ones of me sitting alone in a chair are just... awful. I look like three sizes bigger than I think I am, or, maybe I'm not. The dress didn't seem to want to photograph really well, it was a little big on me, you see, and I'm just... depressed. Is my wedding going to be the same? Do I really look like that? Whether the answer is yes or no, those are both bad things. I'm depressed. After I graduated college, I started living alone, and some how got a post-grad 15. So I feel blue : (
I just wish I'd been able to go on a picnic. I have a feeling I'm not the first person this kind of thing has happened to, though. I was so happy then, but now I just feel stupid for feeling so happy. For letting people take pictures of me when I look so gross. Why didn't I wear a longer skirt? Why didn't I wear sleeves? Just... ugh.

Ugh. I'm sorry that was such an uncomfortable experience for you, Bethedee. Please don't be too hard on yourself, you weren't prepared and weren't asked for your opinion so I'm sure you felt flustered and pressured to just go along with it to make everyone happy. I mean, it's a party, right? The unknowing recipient of the party doesn't get to feel anything but thrilled and grateful for stuff like this, right????

I had a surprise bridal shower too and as much as I appreciated the kind intentions behind it, I was also pretty mad because I had SPECIFICALLY requested no parties. I hate being the center of attention and my then-fiancé and I had everything we needed so having a shower felt like a tacky gift grab. I let my family plan a big wedding because that's what they wanted and I felt like that was enough of an ordeal- a shower on top of it just felt like too much.

But, you know, people come to celebrate you so there's no gracious way to flounce out of your own shower. Ignore the pictures (maybe be "too busy" to log on to FB for a while?), write some nice thank you notes, and let the relief settle in that you've cleared that hurdle. It was one day and now it's over. It's over, Bethedee. Hang in there, I know how stressful all of the pre-wedding shenanigans can be, you will get through it!

Pictures are what shocked me into action too. They don't lie like our brain/eye connection does. I was massively ashamed and depressed when I saw where I'd gotten to. I'm sure you're far from hideous though Don't be too bummed by this, you just have to make up your mind to do this thing! Do it for the health of it, and the weight will follow.

Your family and friends love you they way you are and they aren't thinking anything bad when they look at the pictures. They are thinking how happy they are for your upcoming wedding and probably feeling good about themselves for surprising you with a celebration of you. You were happy too. Let the photos be a reminder of how you felt not just how you looked.
Congratulations on your engagement!

Yes! You are loved and that's what counts.

Thanks everybody : ) I mean, it is true, those photos kicked my butt into action alright. I just had a hummus salad sandwich for lunch :P (it was delicious). And everyone did seem super happy, so that's worth it then. I guess I just got overwhelmed by all of the emotions

Hummus salad?

I put 2 tbsp. of spicy hummus on whole wheat bread. Then you add a cup of chopped salad (I picked hearts of romaine). The spicy hummus and the sweet crunchy salad taste soooo good together and the calorie amount is astronomically low for that amount of filling deliciousness.