I had my sleeve done (put in? performed? removed? *insert correct verb here*) on June 10th, and thus far, I'm so unbelievably happy with it. I've lost weight, I feel good, my energy is back, and with the exception of a deep hatred of protein shakes, I've been having a lot of success with the protein-rich diet. Obviously, its not easy, but I wouldn't want a reversal even if it was an option.

Right now, I have the perfect explanation for my weight loss-- I'm getting married in October AND I'm a teacher on summer vacation, so people assume I'm just losing weight naturally, through traditional diet and exercise. Since I'm pretty private about my weight struggles (minus the obvious obesity), I'm ok with people not knowing; considering the judgement people seem prone to with WLS, I feel I walk a delicate line whenever I tell someone new.


But I feel like I'm keeping this huge secret from the world and its really draining on me. I get mixed reactions from people who I've told or who my partner has told. Today, my partner's grandmother asked how I was doing in the same breath she made my partner swear never to have surgery herself because it never ends well for people. This mixture of support and judgement, of people who think its positive and those "who had a friend who just put all the weight back on!", is emotionally very draining. I'm already gay and now I feel like I have to come out all over again, only this time I have to justify why I can only eat half a Greek yogurt at one time. I feel like I cannot hide it from everyone, but the anxiety of never knowing the reaction makes me want to only speak to people who already know and who are supportive.... I just know that isn't possible.

So, I suppose my long-winded post (Can you tell I teach English and love to write?) boils down to this: who knows about your own journey? How do you decide whom to tell and when to keep your tiny tummy details to yourself? Does it become easier? Do you ever feel like you're keeping some illicit, if not all that exciting, secret from others?

Hey Ducky -

We've had quite a few discussions about this issue over the years - i went off and dug up a whole pile of the most interesting ones:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weig...in-myself.html

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weig...-your-wls.html

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weig...t-surgery.html

That last link has more links in it...

hope this helps! at least, it's a start... IMO, though, bottom line: it's nobody's business but your own, but if you choose not to tell people, be prepared for them to think that you've contracted some deadly disease and are dying before their eyes.

I didn't have the surgery but I've had assorted friends and family who've had it done. My opinion on the subject would be you don't need to volunteer the info but if someone asks you directly "How did you lose the weight?" I would just be frank and tell them! It is no one's place to comment on your methods, it's between you and the doc. If you know you did the right thing, and it sounds like you do, then you have no reason to be bothered by someone who says something ignorant to you about it!

Most of the people I know who have had the surgery have been very open about it, and I didn't hear many negative comments being made. If it were me, I don't think I would tell anyone. If they asked how I was losing I would say I've cut back on my eating, which would be the truth. If they said I was losing too fast I would reply that my doctor is pleased with my results. If they found out and asked why I didn't tell them, I would say I didn't think it was something they needed to know, or frankly, none of their business. Society today seems to feel that they have the right to know the details of something that is a personal matter.

Remember back in the day when no one revealed their pregnancy until 7 months when it could no longer be disguised? Now everyone knows as soon as you miss your period.

Remember, this is something you are doing for your health. You don't have to tell anyone if you have gall bladder surgery, or an appendectemy. This is no different. Personal and private.

I haven't had surgery yet, but have told close friends that I will be having the surgery once I lose the initial weight (a requirement set by my surgeon and insurance). Most people have been extremely supportive. I've gotten a few negative comments.

After surgery, I'll probably be very selective about whom I tell. If I don't want to go into all the details with certain people, I'll just say it was a combination of portion control and exercise, which will be true.

Good luck.

My husband and our rooommate knows. One close friend who had the surgery herself (successful) and another friend (unsuccessful, she's over 10 years out and gained everything plus some lbs back, but she eats junk/crap so not surprised). My sister was the only one I told out the rest of my family. Now when I got a job at the local grocery store I did tell them cause I was only a few months out of surgery. Otherwise I would never had said something. I don't say anything about surgery otherwise to anyone. In fact the facebook pages for bariatrics I created another profile and have those on that one cause some were not private or closed groups. I don't feel like its anyones business but my own right now.

If people do ask I just tell them I eat more protein and little carbs and I exercise a lot.

I only told my husband and one work colleague who had WLS and confided in me first.

My family and friends have no idea-at this point, my weight is pretty normal for me (up and down over the years with my low carb dieting) that it wouldn't make anyone ask. Once my weight drops below 150-then family will notice because I never was able to get lower than that as an adult. At that point, they will be used to seeing me eat small portions, low carb and walking/yoga. So, I imagine they will accept the truth. We are losing weight because of the changes we have made. The sleeve only serves to restrict my food intake.