So... I lost over 30 pounds last year. And it didnt take long before I started gaining again. Now I've gained like half of it back. And just cant find the motivation again to do something about it.

Eating loads of chocolate definitely makes me feel better about everything. And when I first start, it gets out of control for like a week or so atleast.
Then I start back on, and it lasts for another week or two. Then I stop.

All the pants I bought when I first had lost weight, doesnt fit me no more. Losing weight, and looking better did definitely feel good. BUT. Unhealthy food just cant beat that.

And working out? I HATE it. I like staying at home. I like sitting on my computer. I mean, who need to get out of the house? Not me.

I dont know what to do tho. Now I have a boyfriend as well. Which makes it not as important as it was earlier. Atleast now, when I feel shitty about myself, I know that I have atleast someone there who cares about me either way..

Maybe Im just not ment to be skinny?

Sounds like you are going through a rough time. I think we all have moments like that, and motivation is hard. I've found that doing challenges really keeps me in line. I do challenges with other people, and I weigh in weekly. It keeps me accountable because I want to show others I am doing well.

Much like you, I hate working out. But I am getting ready to go the gym anyway because I want to reach my weekly goal.

Sounds like you did really well with your past weight loss and found something that worked well for you. I'm sorry you have gained some of the weight back. Trust me, I have been there countless times...and it is very discouraging. But, I guess I usually get back on the wagon and have to re-do all of that hard work, and to get started I usually just start with like 10 mins of exercise per day or walking. I also think exercise isn't too pleasant, but maybe you can just start with short intervals. I prefer 10 mins, 2-3 times per day instead of half an hour straight.

It shouldn't be about being skinny, but rather about being healthy. It's not healthy being overweight. I've watched firsthand the effects of someone's health deteriorating due to weight gain. Since my husband gave up smoking he's gained a lot of weight, any benefit of giving up smoking has been swallowed by the list of health problems that have cropped up since then. He's at the stage now where his weight gain is putting strain on our relationship. He doesn't care that he's fat or what it's doing to our marriage. Don't let a complacent attitude to weight gain ruin your relationship or your health. You've only gained back half the weight, take up the reins and bring a stop to it now because the more you gain the harder it is to lose. You're important, your health is important and your relationship is important too.

I agree with happybug, there is a distinction between wanting to lose weight to be "skinny" and to lose weight to be healthy. With time, I don't want my health to tank because it was too hard to control my weight. There are a lot of things that are hard... losing weight is hard, exercising is hard, being sick is hard, being overweight is hard. You have to choose your hard. I know for myself, I will regret it if I don't get control of my weight now. Because if I don't, by the time I regret it... it will be way more to lose than if I decided to do something about it sooner. I know this because I am currently trying to shake off 150 lbs because I just couldn't get my act together sooner.

Just to add, being healthy doesn't mean living on a diet of rabbit food. You can still enjoy some of the pleasures of life and food w/o letting go of your healthy lifestyle. Was your diet really strict when you initially lost the weight? Sometimes it's hard to resist our favorite comfort foods because we try to go without them. Perhaps if you try to work in some things you love sparingly it will help you from losing control for one week. That has helped me immensely I don't know if that is something you've tried before. ^^

Lastly, About the comment "not meant to be skinny". To be honest, I don't think anyone is pre-destined to always be what size they are. Notice I emphasized always, because many of us are pre-destined via genetics and upbringing to gain more weight than others. However we all have the ability to reduce our weight by modifying out lifestyles/habits... it doesn't mean it's that simple for everyone, but it's always in the realm of possibility. Basically you're meant to be whatever you want to be, and if I were in your position right now who only had 15 lbs. to shake off vs. 30, 40 or 50 I'd knock out those 15 and find a way to have a healthy lifestyle, still enjoy things I love before I was back at the 30 regretting not doing it sooner. You can do it! You did it once before, nip it in the bud before you have to do it all over again.

Well, you can just sit on your *** and lament and/or eat chocolate or maybe you can start with one (1) small change at a time that is easy to make and maintain. Then you introduce the next small change and so on. You will build up some self-confidence and feel rewarded and discipline will follow. I rather be in control of my life than let chocolate dictate what I do and how I feel.

Good post, dybbuk. I've also found that allowing myself some indulgences (actually, near-daily indulgences) is KEY to my sustained weight maintenance following a 50-pound loss. I still overeat, nibble, snack, and try sinful foods. I compensate by exercising regularly and by eating small suppers.

I also share your view that nobody is fated to be a certain weight. While weight loss is obviously more difficult for some than for others, I think retraining the mind is the biggest piece of the puzzle -- for all of us.

F.

Yeah, but honestly tho. I dont care about being healthy. I havent been around people with a lot of health issues, so Its not something I think too much about. I guess its all about experience, and the fact that I havent realised what this could do to me.

So to me its more about the way people threat you when you are skinny, and how you feel when you look in the mirror..

It was actually really easy to lose weight last time. I didnt eat much tho. I ate oatmeal for breakfast, salad for lunch, and just about anything for dinner. No candy for the first month. I did really good. And I was really motivated. But now a days my motivation only lasts for two weeks or so. So I end up losing like 5 pounds. And then I gain it all back.

I think you have answered your own question with this response. You are wondering where your motivation has gone? ...and why you lose and regain the same weight? It's because you are considering everyone else's thoughts and opinions about your body instead of your own well being. If you don't care about being healthy or taking care of your body, then losing weight long term isn't going to happen. Making better food choices and exercise is essential to losing weight; being "skinny" is a product of healthy habits. No caring about health = not caring about losing weight/keeping it off.

You lost weight to improve how other people perceive/treat you. You said yourself, now that you have a boyfriend the urgency to lose weight isn't there anymore. You're doing this to look skinny in the mirror and see what you think everyone else wants to see. I'm not saying these are bad things, I think everyone enjoys feeling more confident about their bodies, but we should not feel that validation and acceptance from others is the only way to feel good about ourselves. Your current mind frame is only going to lead you down a road of yo-yo dieting and remaining dependent on other people to make you feel better when you feel bad about yourself. This is why you're having trouble maintaining your loss, and chalking it up to "not meant to be skinny" isn't the solution.

Not your time yet perhaps?

We each have our time.

Mine came 20 years too late.

But it came.

For me, the motivation to lose weight roared like a fire.

When it came.