I think about different things I want to do--whether traveling somewhere or dating or taking a class, etc., and I always put them off. I know I could still do whatever I wanted, but these things should be things to look forward to and I would dread them at my weight.

All of my friends are doing exciting things--whether it's getting married, traveling, going away to grad school. I don't necessarily have one specific goal that I am putting off until I lose the weight, rather I just feel like my entire life is "on hold" while everyone else is living theirs.

One other small rant--slightly related--I was a big Sex and the City fan when I was younger and a theme in the show was always people asking the girls if they are seeing anyone and if they responded no or that they were single, they would get an "awww you'll find someone" or a pitiful look. I always thought this didn't happen in real life, but it totally does!

Anyway, it just sucks when I haven't seen friends/family for a while and I get the question of "whats going on in your life?" and I have absolutely nothing to say, so I just say I'm working a lot and don't have time for anything else.

OK rant over...anyone else have similar sentiments/experiences?

hey AAB-

My initials are AAB, cool.

I hear what you are saying, I feel like my life is on hold too because I haven't worked for close to a year due to health issues, I had ankle surgery recently and I can't walk for at least two more weeks- ugh! I also have a disability aside from that so to keep my benefits I can only work part time. I have a lot that I want to do, I was supposed to be on a trip across the country right now, due to my ankle surgery I have to postpone my trip.

I think it's important to try to do ones best, and sometimes it may not feel adequate enough but that's all we can do.

Take care.

Amy

The only thing I can say is, don't put off living due to your weight. You might put off some things, for practical reasons, but don't put it all off. If you want to travel, travel. Life is short, and our healthy years where we can actively do things are shorter yet. When you're older I doubt you'll look back on anything and say, "I wish I'd waited to do that until I was skinny" but rather "I wish I hadn't waited until I was skinny to do that." That's just my take on it.

And yeah, there is a real bias in society that people need a significant other in their lives in order to be complete, and happy. I think that may be true for many but not for everyone, and no one should be pitied for being single. Actually, once you reach a certain age you'll find that some people envy you if you are single, particularly people who are in unhappy marriages. Ditto for having children or not having children. I'm 40 and don't have kids, and I have friends tell me now how jealous they are (which makes me feel sorry for their kids, but that's another story).

Every day, because I am the person that has a difficult time stepping out of my comfort zone because I am worried about what others will think about me and how I look doing certain things, like dancing

You definitely hit it on the head, EagleRiverDee! I have a friend who had a twin sister who always put off traveling and doing things she wanted to do, learning hobbies, so much ... an October cancer diagnosis and a July funeral. The months in between she traveled when exhausted, and wished she'd done it when she wasn't wiped out from the cancer. At least when we're wiped out, we aren't returning home for chemo.

Get out there and do things you enjoy - volunteer with programs you believe in - pick up hobbies you like that time passes quickly when you're doing ... live your life. NO guarantees when you weigh less that you will be able to do the things that you'd look forward to - anything from a car accident, ANYTHING can happen.

Make it a good day today.

I feel your pain!

Dee is right -- I'm 47, and people have quit pitying me for being single and childless. A lot of people I went to high school with are on their second and third marriages, or single parents.

Be thankful for your situation right now. Make your own decisions and call your own shots. If you meet someone to share your life with, great! But, until then, live it up! These are your "good old days!"

We are what we choose to be.

It differs for each of us.

Do what truly makes you happy!

When you get out and do what you enjoy the chances of meeting people who enjoy the same types of things you do greatly increases,you'll make new friends and exude good vibes because you're enjoying yourself, no one will feel sorry for you for that!

I see a wide variety of people at the rail trail I walk at, all shapes and sizes and fitness levels.

Don't put off life. It becomes a habit. I think if you make a really big effort to break that habit you will find yourself happier to be doing the things that you long to do. Being happier is a good thing, a GREAT thing!

If I'm feeling GOOD it is easier to put in the effort to really take care of my health.

And remember, our outward appearance is very transient anyway (something I'm realizing ever more as I get closer to 50). Should I stop running because I'm not a lithe 20-something and they look waaaaay better than me? I can answer that: NOPE!

Break through that barrier you have created for yourself. You won't be sorry!

The only things I put on hold is clothes shopping. I have a running list of clothes I'd like to buy that I have never been able to buy because of my weight. I love fashion but I end up wearing clothes that I've worn for 10yrs or more and I absolutely hate it. I'm so uninspired when I walk into my closet but I can't bring myself to buy more clothes if they're in such a large size.

I do live though, life goes on and we're out there enjoying it as much as possible. Even if it's in old ratty clothes lol.