So an ex boyfriend (who I'm trying to get back!) took me to lunch today. We dated such a long time, so he knows how I struggle with my weight and is always sooo supportive of my diets and weight loss efforts.

But it was at Houlihan's. I haven't eaten a single grain, drop of dairy, ounce of preservatives, beans, NOTHING except for fruits, veggies, and meat for two weeks. and I HAD to have the artichoke goat cheese bites.. and french onion soup.. and more carbs and more cheese. and strawberry shortcake. For some strange reason I didn't feel like telling him I was on a hard core challenge and doing it perfectly, because I didn't want to feel high maintenance. Who knows what was going through my mind- looking back now we could have met somewhere that had a better selection for me and he would've eaten it and been just as enthusiastic.

Here's the thing: It's a 30 day super strict paleo challenge. I failed miserabley today- it's not that I cheated at my meal. It's almost like I spiraled out of control. I ate 3 lara bars, so many nuts, big spoonfuls of almond butter... almost like since I fell off the wagon, that there's no hope.

Now I'm bloated, I feel gross, fat... you name it! I'm sure my digestive tract is gonna be paying for the sudden overload of wheat, dairy, and processed food later too

What do y'all do in these situations? Where it feels like you can't get back together?

I've had the same thing happen to me so many times. You can let it derail all your efforts or you can choose to learn from it and move on. Get right back on track, drink lots of water and don't weigh yourself for at least 4 days. By then you might even see a loss. One day will not undo a 20 lb. loss, even though it sure feels that way.

What I've learned is that I can't meet people for meals and not have it mess with my mind. There are times I can handle it or times I have no choice and deal with the aftermath, but typically, I make an effort to only meet people at a coffee shop where I either get decaf or tea. I do have a few restaurants that I know I can eat at and I'll go to those but those days are always harder for me calorie wise so I try to avoid them for the most part.

I hope you feel better very soon.

like luckymommy said,

it's just ONE day. i'm sure you feel totally crappy, physically and mentally. have a bad day. tomorrow is another. maybe plan out your day, so you know what you're going to have at what time....maybe that'll keep it from going further.

when i have had bad days, i'd totally derail for like a week. so hard to get back on track, but you can do it! you're doing a great job so far!

This reminds me of one of my favorite sayings.

"Life is full of lessons. Lessons are repeated until learned."

Good news, sounds like you learned something today and frankly it doesn't sound like too many calories to me. Sure you lost a day or three from your challenge but it's not like you had some epic binge. Shake it off and move on.

I'm on a low-carb diet and I have a built-in cheat day every Saturday as part of the plan. Your unplanned one-time cheat day is no big deal. Sure you gain a couple or three pounds but if you get right back on plan, it drops off again in a couple of days and then you continue losing weight. Don't let this derail you. It's really no big deal. Drink lots of water to flush the excess water weight you're holding and you'll be fine. Just keep going like it never happened.

Even Paleo man would have eaten nuts and goat cheese if put in front of him at a social gathering place! Sure, he would have paid for it afterwards, but he would have loved every minute of it! (Or maybe that's just me and goat cheese LOL) I would fast today (Intermittent fasting is very Paleo), drink tons of water, and resume the plan tomorrow as if nothing happened (count it day 15).

What do I do? Wallow in a little self pity and then plod on.

Thank you! I have lost so much weight at this point so even a little slip up is hard for me. I'm just so hard on myself

I had a lara bar for breakfast (heart condition, dr recommended them before a fast) and I'm giving the IF a go for the rest of today. I'm using it as a day to grocery shop, plan, and get back on track!

That has emotional over-eating written all over it. It had mostly to do with your company instead of your willpower. Learn from it and move on!

What everyone else said - learn and move forward. One thing to remember, though, is that you THOUGHT you'd feel bad if you stuck to your plan on your date. What you learned, however, is that IN REALITY you felt horrible - emotionally and physically - because you DIDN'T stick to your plan. Let that be a lesson learned. Two choices - one might be hard to make at first (MIGHT) but one will be hard for certain (FOR CERTAIN) later.

Good luck,

Lin

^^ Great advice. I'm taking that to heart, too. Thanks LinJber!

We ALL have bad food days. As long as it's once in a while no big deal...drink lots of water and onward.

Today is a new day. Leave yesterday in the past and move forward with your plan. Every time your stomach cramps, or bloating discomfort gets to you ask yourself if it was worth it and then catalog that feeling so you have it next time you're tempted to go off plan.

I have to be honest, that's what I do. I works for me. Some days the answer is yes - it is worth it, but most days it isn't and I stick to plan.

We all have our struggles and trigger foods and so on.

Relationships are tough, on a good day. (been married for 36 years, still drives me nuts)

I don't think this is so much about food as it is about how you reacted to the situation.

Give yourself a few days, and think about it. Be honest with yourself about why what happened, happened.

Were you nervous, stressed, trying to impress, why do you want him back? Is he really a good fit for you and your plans for life?

He might be a great guy, for all I know, but maybe, he might not be the great guy for you.

Relax, take an honest look back at what happened.

The answers are there, you just need to find them.

It's not what you eat at restaurants that makes you fat.

It's what you eat at home, at work, in front of your computer or in front of the television for the rest of the 95% of your life.

So forget about it.

When I go to restaurants, I eat seafood. I love the stuff and it's good for me too. But in good company, I'l go three or four courses and get straight back on plan the next day.

This is why I dislike diets with names. Any wobble and people think they've blown the bank.

Do your own thing people. Leave the packets for the people with pockets.