A week ago I hired a new person, literally had to give her the shirt off my back for her uniform. Mine was an XL, I had ordered her a L, because I see her as average sized with a bit of chunk and still think I need 2/3xxl. The L was so small she couldn't get in over her shoulders, so we switched. My shirt, that I knew was to big for me is to tight for her, but the L went on me just fine. All I could do was look in the mirror and go, "huh".

I'm not celebrating her size, so much as someone I see as within normal limits telling me that MY shirt was to small, and a normal size shirt fitting me. ME. Normally sized. Floored.

Also got me to thinking about how I've still got some head stuff to work on. Obviously she's not normal sized with a bit of chunk, but her weight is her business, my perception of size reality is mine and I need to work on it. What are some things y'all are doing to help with your head and reality?

So I've been meaning to start a new thread about this because it kind of bugs me that with all the honest self searching I do, why is my perception of what normal looks like so skewed? Obviously, if she needs a 2xl shirt, she's not within normal limits for her height, but to me she seems fine. I mean, it's great that I don't see sizes, but the person, but do people who have always been within normal weight limits misjudge peoples sizes or is their view more accurate? On the flip side, do they over estimate sizes?

I have no idea what is "normal". I know what I see as "ideal", and what my goal is. But..what i actually look like..for real, I have no idea.

I spend an obsessive amount of time in the mirror and taking selfies just trying to see a difference. I just do not see it.

I KNOW that I must look different, I was in a size 26-28 and now in an 18-20 with well over 100lbs left to lose, more like 130, but yeah. Normal, I have no idea.

It kind of worries me sometimes, I mean if I cannot get my eyes to process and see the 60+ lbs I have already lost, what if I cannot process 100 or 150? What if I never see myself as healthy enough, will that cause different health issues?

Well, when I was a lot smaller than now, I still wore an XL in some things. It all depends on the cut. Was she maybe more broad shouldered than you?

My coworker and I weigh the same, have the same height, but it's obvious when you look at us we have different bone structure.

That being said, I know what you mean. When I had gotten down to 180 before, I was a size 8/10 and when my "normal" sized friends asked to exchange clothes, I was always like, ha, my stuff would swallow you. It was hard to see myself as smaller and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I never saw that change in the mirror.

Maybe you just get used to seeing yourself a certain way and it takes a different perspective to snap out of it. I can attest to that. At 180 I still thought I looked 220. I knew I didn't really, but that mental image was hard to put away.

I don't even know what normal size is really. I have a size I want to be. I was happy in a size 10. I felt confident and ecstatic, but a lot of people would say a size 10 is far from normal. I don't even think if I get back to 180 I'll be a size 10 again. For some reason, I've shrank 2 inches in five years.

On the opposite spectrum, my cousin has an overactive metabolism and she weighs 110 lbs at 6 feet, after 3 kids. And the girl eats. The girl eats more than I do! I hated shopping with her and she always underestimated my size. Of course, I guess she wasn't at a normal size either since she wore a 0.

It's an interesting conundrum. I've always been overweight, that 8/10 was the smallest size I've ever seen. At the time, I still thought I looked horrible, but looking back at pictures now, I can't believe I was ever that small. Hopefully, I'll get to have a repeat.

Grats on the L fitting btw.

Congrats on your loss.

For me, in my mind.. normal is any size I can buy at a place like Walmart without having to look for the plus size section. So if you are in a L, I would say that's probably normal in my mind.

I have no concept of normal.
I wear an 8 in jeans, but if it weren't for the number on the tag, I wouldn't believe it. I think I should still be in size 16.
My best friends are all different sizes, but to me they look "normal". I'm just used to seeing a spectrum of sizes...