My own efforts to lose weight do not always work. I find there are certain times when things seem to go right: it is then that I have to really make sure to seize the opportunity. In other times (when the weight loss seems to be frustrating), I try to be really kind to myself... treating myself at least as well as I treat everyone around me.
You don't say what kind of method you are using to achieve weight loss. Is it exercise only, calorie counting?
Wondering...have you ever considered going low carb/low sugar/and no artificial sweeteners.
I am doing one form of a low carb diet. It is called The Ideal Protein Diet and seems to be working really well for me. (I feel like I am turning into an evangelist for low carb!). Ideal Protein is only one form of many variations of low carb eating so if you are not into the idea of eating some packaged foods, I encourage you to do some exploration.
If low carb works for you, it shows that your body is intolerant/sensitive to sugars and also carbs. Also, not having enough of the right kinds of protein can set a person up for cravings.
with low carb eating, I find I have a high level of satiety. I don't get hungry very often.
Also, if you are sugar sensitive, things like aspartame are KNOWN to cause the same kind of reactions in the body as sugar spikes. This can make you feel even more hungry. Sugar itself is one of the most highly addictive substances going. Addiction to alcohol often has addiction to sugar wrapped up in with it.
This is not about being someone who has no self control. It is about powerfully addicting substances that feed a hunger drive.
More sugar/more aspartame = more hunger. We are led to believe that by choosing so called 'sugar free artificially sweetened' we are making healthy choices when in fact we are being drawn into the use of substances that put our internal chemistry right out of whack.
Carbs convert to sugar so can have the same effects in our systems.
If this is resonating for you, I urge you to explore going low carb. There are low carb sections on 3FC:
Ideal Protein; and
Carb Counters.
Jimmy Moore has an information filled website (Livin' la Vida Low-Carb). (At first I thought he seemed like a bit of a nut but there is alot of good science that he is communicating to the world.) Experts like Gary Taubes (one of his books describes how not all calories are the same), Volek and Phinney (sp?) (The Art and Science of Low Carb Living) are another place to go.
If one is really sugar addicted, the first week or so is tough. You go through what is known as 'carb flu' ...essentially a detox/withdrawal period from the addicting substances that are carbs and sugars.
It could be that you are NOT a complete and total failure ( I strongly suspect you are not!) It could be that you are actually carb/sugar addicted... and if that is the case, addressing it involves more things than just 'self-control.' Addressing addiction through calorie counting almost sets one up for failure because just cutting calories doesn't address the deeper issue of chemical addiction. Carbs and sugars are chemicals.
Addictions are extremely powerful forces but with the right help, they can be overcome and/or managed more effectively.