I have so much weight to lose, but it's so hard. I love food too dang much. People just think it's a matter of willpower, but it's harder than that. It feels like an addiction. My health is starting to decline, and doctors are pushing me to consider weight loss surgery, but I'm really scared of that. I feel like I'm killing myself, and I can't seem to make myself stop.

I just need to know that there's someone else out there like me. Someone with binge eating disorder, severely overweight, with health issues, who managed or is managing to lose the weight without surgery. I just need to know it can be done.

take one day at a time.
one hour at a time
you can only do so much so try not to look so far down the road and make small goals
change that ticker you have in your signature...that way you don't keep looking at that going "UGGHHHH" make it where its 10lbs to lose
you've lost 11lbs...THAT'S AWESOME!!!
baby steps!! one foot in front of the other
pick one thing you will change tomorrow...maybe its walking up and down the stairs twice, maybe its eating fruit instead of cookies...pick one!

Hi Lariet:

I feel exactly the same way you do. I have so much weight to lose that it feels impossible to reach my goal. And that is the reason that I never succeeded in the past. I decided that it was so much weight that I just gave up.

I have started having trouble with my knees so much that my husband and I cancelled 2 trips this year. My doctor said that I absolutely had to lose weight in order to be mobile. I have been fat all of my life. My entire family is overweight. In fact, it has been such a serious problem in my family that my brother died from morbid obesity when he was 48. He refused to do anything about his bingeing.

I started on Weight Watchers on July 13 and have lost 14 lbs. so far with really not a lot of effort and no deprivation. The only reason WW works for me is because I can still have foods that I really love and stay on program. I am hoping and praying that I can stay with it.

The idea of surgery really scares me. I have heard that sometimes people have problems afterward.

I don't know if you have chosen a plan yet. There is information about different programs on this website and elsewhere on the Internet. I just wouldn't go with a drastic, quick weight loss plan because you will feel hungry and deprived. If you feel that you have an eating disorder, talking to someone who specializes in that type of treatment might be the best thing for you.

Sara is right: take it in small increments.

You have a lot of company here. We are all cheering you on!
I am sending you big hugs!

Hi Lariet

I know where you are coming from .. never think you are alone .. it can be scary when you see such a big number to go for ... that is why it pays to break it down. I remember not long after I first signed up (7 years ago now! Been a LONG journey) .. mentioning the thought of trying to lose more than 100 pounds just so overwhelming .. another member pointed out this for me to think about instead of the triple figure ..

"I can't lose 100 pounds .. but I CAN lose 10 pounds 10 times"

Something so simple .. I no longer think of the BIG goal .. if I want to get big I think of 50 pounds .. but even that needs to be broken down to make it not so daunting (mainly cos I tend to think of what that weight represents - 50 blocks of butter .. 25 blocks of cheese ... eeeek!!).

Give yourself permission to go off track occasionally ... if you dont then when you do (and we ALL do) you will feel the guilt that makes it harder to get back on track....
DONT say you are giving up your favourite foods forever .. eek .. never happen .. I am a chocoholic, before I restarted this journey a couple of weeks ago I never went a day without it .. but I havent had any since I started .. thats not to say Im never having it .. I will .. but I am trying to discipline myself otherwise my guilt will send me to the bathroom again after I have eaten the block (cos its hard for me to stop at a line let alone a piece).

Have a treat target board for when you reach a goal .. the next 10 pounds could be a relaxing facial .. even one you give yourself .. For me I am finally marrying the man I love .. I had 18 weeks to get as much off as I can and boy is it keeping me focused lol.

Perhaps you can join in one of the challenges .. I have started the Christmas Countdown one .. more the merrier and any time you want to join in is great .. I tend to ramble on their daily with thoughts and try to respond to everyone else with positive feedback and ideas .. would love to have you join us .. set something realistic .. a couple of members have targeted a pound a week Even just to change a habit in the time frame with the support of the team is a good thing.

Anyway .. bottom line (after all that ramble) .. you are not alone .. you arent the only one .. I was bulimic when I was a teen and even now I find it a first thought when I have a binge on something I shouldnt .. but instead I have to pay the piper and just accept I have taken a wrong turn and start again tomorrow. Bug Hugs!

Welcome

I agree with everyone here... just take baby steps...

I started at the beginning of the year... not seriously monitoring my calories or anything but just working on making healthier choices and drinking more water... then at the end of April I got really serious and went to the doctor for blood work... he had me start counting calories and walking...

I don't deprive myself... if I truly want something I will have a small portion but I count it and go on... the first week or so I did not have any sweets or anything that I can easily binge on... but now I can have a little of that and be satisfied...

I also started walking a little at first and now about 2 miles per day... I even started doing at least 1 5K a month just so that I would have something to work toward... I only walk them but every time I have done one my time gets better... I am a teacher and already I have coordinate with another teacher who is off at the same time I am to walk a mile in the mornings... that is a great thing because with shorter days coming here it means that I can be an hour ahead of my 2 miles per day goal...

So here it is August and I have lost 70 pounds (almost) and honestly never thought I would get below 350...

make little goals at a time... I always had my big ticker on my signature... but I had little goals in my mind...

I know you can do this... We are here to help you too... and we know what it is like to start out with a big amount to lose... just come here and share and reach out... we will help you.... this is a wonderful board... I dont know if I could have made it this far with out it...

Hi - you are not alone! I can relate to everything you said. Two years ago, at just under 300 pounds on my short 5 foot 2 inch body, I felt so overwhealmed by how much I had to loose it felt hopeless and like I could not do it. I was losing my ability to walk around, and it was very bad.

I decided even if I couldn't lose a lot, every month I would lose even just a little bit, and that if I lost something, even just half a pound, every month, eventually It would get better than it was now. Over time I started making one small change at at time, and eventually, they really added up. One of the first things I did was figure out how many calories I needed to eat to maintain my weight (there are calculators for this on the web) and buy a book with calories and ate 500 less than my maintenance calroies a day. Eventually, I slowly added more healthy things to do, slowly, one at a time. I eventually stopped eating sugar, bread and high glycemic carbs - I am convinced that for me sugar is an addicitve drug. I also read a book that helped me a lot - it combined many things I discovered by reading about weight in the past with exercises to work on how you think and the psychology of weight loss - it helped me a lot. It was called something like the brain healthy weight loss solution and the author was Dr. Daniel Amen.

I have a list of what I try to do, and carry it around with me always, and every day I mark off all the things I have done, so I dont forget any.

Having said all this, there have been many times when I went off, for a few days, weeks or even months. It is a real struggle!!! But after 2 years, I am down 50 pounds, and able to move ar ound better then before. I still have a long way to go. I still can't move around enough. But I am determined to keep going. I don't want weight loss surgery or medication. I know my pace is much slower than my doctors think acceptable, but it is the best I have been ale to do & I just don want to give up. (I've not been doing well over the last few months, but am going to lose my little tiny bit this month, and keep hoping they add up.)

I post on the challenge forum getting fit after 40 string, if you want to join us there people are always welcom. Don't give up - you can do it!!!

Thanks for the support, everyone! I just get so down about the whole thing sometimes - it seems like I practically have to starve myself to lose a pound, but if I even look at food, I gain three. Argh!

The doctors especially are making me terrified. I truly feel now like when I go to bed every night, I might not wake up.

I know I didn't put the weight on overnight, and I know for sure it won't come off overnight. But it seems like once I hit 30, everything got SO much harder! LOL. Darn age.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice and support. Lord knows I'm going to need it!

Please keep posting so we know how you are.

Lariet hun you just need to focus on a pound at a time .. heck even half a pound .. even maintaining while you get your mind round the challenge ahead of you. Its taken me since 2006 to lose the 60 pounds I have lost! Chunks of that time where I went off the rails and out of shame stopped coming here letting myself fall further and further.
I think one of the biggest things is positive influences, and while I know doctors have concerns I dont think scare-mongering is something that they realise is more detrimental than positive to a persons mind on a journey that is challenging. One thing I have learned is that skipping meals makes things worse than better, so don't look at it that way .. I still skip breakfast more days than I have it .. knowing full well that its important not to skip the meals, but its still a learning process and like an alcoholic on the wagon its going to be a life challenge not just a weight loss one... one day at a time.

Just keep checking in with us all .. we are here to support you .. you are more than welcome to pm me if you like, happy to hear the rants and cheer you up ... maybe even put things into perspective for you if I can. This site is great for keeping you focused, and on track ... which is why I am determined to stick around this time to my journey goal rather than disappearing when I go off the rail.

One more thing I did when I started .... affirmations ... every day a positive affirmation when I wake up the morning, and a positive affirmation at night before I go to bed. It could just be "I was happy to breathe easily today" or it could be "I got one room in the house spotless" .. or "I made a positive food choice today". Start the day with "today I will make a good choice" dont be specific if you dont want to .. it could be something positive like a friend came to visit you today or something ... I am now up to a 5 a day list .. where I write down 5 positives to my day, some days are harder than others .. and some get repeated, but it helps when you read back and see some of the good things you have felt about, especially when you are having a bad day. Its all about perspective.

Lariet,
I think everyone in this section knows how you feel. When you look at the total number of pounds to lose, it can be depressing. What worked for me in terms of getting started was breaking my goal into smaller 20 lbs increments. For some reason, when I made that first 20 lbs goal, it clicked in my head that I can do this! F$%# everything else! lol I would have NEVER, EVER thought that I could lose 60 lbs in 8 months, but I have - I'm still like "WTF" when I think about it. lol But I know its because I broke my goal down into smaller victories because I am a goal oriented person, so if I feel like I'm not getting anything out of what I'm doing regardless as to what it is (ex. work, a relationship, etc.), I will stop trying. So I'm treating this (weight loss) like I treat my career and so far, its working. lol

So know what works for you in terms of motivation period and build on that.

Good luck!

This thread really struck a chord with me, hugs!

I know how you feel, I have been in your shoes before, and while my highest was basically 350, it was still hard to start, and extremely overwhelming.

I don't know how supportive people around you are, but when I lived at home, delicious, trigger foods were just in the other room. It drove me bonkers, but I focused on replacing one thing at a time. I started cutting out my biggest addiction, which was peanut butter cups. I stopped buying those and instead had cottage cheese with honey and fresh fruit.

After a while, the fruit was the sweetener and honey was on the back burner. It just tasted better, and added sugar just tasted too sweet.

Baby steps. That's the best way to describe the changes. Don't look at the big scale of things. Conquer the numbers 10 at a time (as suggested) or 5 at a time. Make mini-goals.

I just want to hug you, because we've all been there. I do enjoy a good binge, and food is an addiction to a lot of us. What's terrible? We don't need cigarettes, alcohol or drugs to live. You do need food though. As someone who has lost 130lbs, I felt just like you when I started. I was going to die if I didn't lose the weight. It is the stone cold truth, but yes, death was coming for me. However, I took it mini-goals at a time. 10%, 10lbs, whatever you need to do. Even better? I didn't starve myself. I didn't cut down on my portions either. I just made better decisions for myself in terms of food and got out a little bit more. Now, two years later, I see the light at the end of the tunnel even if I want to lose 65 more. It takes time, but we're here for you.

I started at close to 500 pounds. Look at me now. I'm not saying that out of pride, I still have a long way to go. But I have lost more than 100 pounds. If I can do it, you most definitely can.

I had terrifying binges. I once spent nearly $200 on takeout in a day. I ended up with huge kidney stones and sciatica so bad I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't face a set of stairs. Last august I started slowly. I gave up soda the first two weeks. Then I started eating a paleo style diet the next two. The carb and sugar withdrawals were hellacious for about ten days. But then, literally, the fog lifted. I felt amazing. A month later, I added swimming. Six months later, I added yoga. I play around with weights and even a little sprinting.

It's not all sunshine. I stalled out for close to six months where the scale wouldn't budge. I found out that the scale I was using was defective and was telling me I was 40 pounds lighter than I actually was. I'm frustrated to tears by clothes shopping because my body is in an "in between" place where many plus sizes don't work and I still can't really get into regular sizes. I have loose skin. I more body conscious than I have ever been, and I'm acutely aware that I still have close to 200 pounds I need to lose.

BUT It doesn't take any effort to climb my stairs anymore. I crave water and things like a really good salad. I look forward to challenging myself in my workouts. I'm proud of what I've done, not because I look better, but because I FEEL BETTER . My father died because he couldn't pull himself out of the weight spiral. I now, for the first time have faith that I can and will live, and live to the fullest.

You can do this. Start slowly. WLS may be an option in the future, but it still means personal change. Start by cutting out or cutting down on one thing. Walk to the end of the hall. One thing a day/week/month is all it takes.

Thanks for the support, everyone. I have a very all-or-nothing personality, which hampers my weight loss efforts A LOT. And I still get confused about how I should eat. Count calories? Cut carbs? Gluten? Paleo? I've read all the diet books, and I swear, I no longer know how to eat! You've all been there, I'm sure. I just have to find what works for me in a sustainable way. I can do anything for a short time, but if I don't like it, I guarantee I won't stick with it.

Plus I tend to be a slug. I even have a slug picture as my Facebook cover photo.