Today I saw the original pic taken of me the day I started IP. I almost hit the floor. I knew I was BIG I when you live life like that, you really don't think you are HUGE. GWIM??

I felt such a wave of emotion, I was so disappointed I let myself live that way for so long. It felt like my Mom must have been so disappointed for having such a huge daughter. How could my husband love me?? It was like a brick. I am ok, by the time I got home, I just kept plugging along with P1. Yup, I can't bring myself to go on P2 even though my coach thinks I am. Since I have been having a roller coaster of loss and gain the past few months.

I spoke to my coach about how to learn to live in the real world and she truly expects me to go to the clinic once a week for a long long time in to maintenance.

I KNOW I KNOW I said I was leaving, do alternative etc....well, I never left because they don't track anything I buy any more, never mention it. AND I do use alternatives.

I still need someone to weigh me, I am not ready to handle it on my own despite all the great support I have around me.

We did talk a bit today, more than we have in a long time. I told her I was afraid to get to maintenance, that I had so much energy now I was bored and wanted to get moving. I know about adding a pack or egg after work outs but I am just so unsure because of the roller coaster I have been on the last month or so.

My BMI is 30.1, it was 47.5 when I joined. Another coach chimed in and said once I get under 30, it's going to be harder to lose weight. I would like to lose enough to be safely in a size 12, I have no illusions of a 6, never did. 10 would be perfect. I am fitting in to 12's and a few medium shirts now. I know when I started I said a size 16, well um, no.

I am just so overwhelmed. What have you all done? I know maybe I should ask the maintenance board but I am not there yet.

Should I stay at the clinic or think about a real dietician trainer??? I have the Diva Dash in September so I need to start on the couch to 5k program.

TIA!!!!!!!

HEY NinjaNurse! i feel your pain or understand the whole "shock" with looking at the photo...i think many times i just avoid looking at myself so i get this odd sense or off sense of what i really look like...and i rarely allow ppl to take photos of me....

i thought the whole point of IP was to teach us how to eat better and maintain forever...its like a lifestyle change, providing you with a different understanding of food, your body, and a mild behaviour modification program??

while i am no where near maintenance... as you are (you look AMAZING btw...you should be proud of yourself.)..i would say you need to just keep focused, and keep doing what you are doing. And do not be harsh with yourself as you see the weight loss slowing down...it's a good thing..means you are way closer to your goal than ever before. AND...you will more than likely need to keep working at it, every day, forever....and if you start to really lose your way in the future you can also go back and do p1 for a lil bit to get quickly back on track (well thats what i have read people doing here "rebooting or recharging"

Thanks Art3mis I don't mind eating right the rest of my life, I like healthy food. My FF's are rutabaga and jicima fries with no sadness involved. It's just so overwhelming.

I hope you get there!!! This is a great place to be!!! (3FC IP board I mean)

NN,

You're one of the 1st people I connected with when I signed on to the board so I feel a certain kinship (that and the whole Ireland thing too).

Someone once told me while I was working on a project that the thing to focus on was the race and not the finish line. You'll reach that one way or the other. It could be in the place you originally intended or it might move closer or further away but the important thing is to remember 1 foot in front of the other and you'll eventually get there.

I've always had a weight problem and am constantly amazed that DW even talked to me the 1st time we met. After 21 years and up and down weights for both of us we're still going strong. When someone loves you outward appearances don't mean much. I really wished my mom would have lived to see me where I am today but I know she was proud of me in so many other ways that this would have just added to the list.

I recommend you continue the way you're going now. You might try mixing things up a bit by doing P2 or P3 for a while or just sticking to P1 until you're there. I continued to lose in P2 and have actually dropped another 1/2 pound in P3 when I was expecting a 3-5 pound gain. We each react differently and you'll only know for sure by trying something. If it doesn't work then you can always go back to the old plan.

You've done an amazing job so far and I'm sure you'll continue to do so. It was people like you that gave me the motivation when I started and helped me right up through today (still OP and even mixed a little Paleo - within IP standards - for lunch). Chin up, drive on, and we'll meet at the top of the hill!

You've done an incredible job so far and it can be a struggle getting the last 20 or so off. I don't know if you remember IPDivaJen, but she took a break from IP, at about the same point as you, to train for a 5k. When she was done with the race, she jumped right back on IP and lost the last 20 very quickly.

I don't think she checks in here anymore, but she is a great example of how a controlled phase off & on can work.

It's a little scary moving out of phase 1, but you can do it.

I get what you mean about the pics. I just yesterday looked at my first pics when I was at nearly my heaviest. It was so emotional to look at those pictures. I was in complete shock. Is that what people saw when they looked at me? I didn't see it myself, not like I see it now.

I am such a long way from goal, but I wanted to briefly chime in on whether or not to stay with the clinic or see a dietician. If it were me, I would stay with the clinic, as long as you feel comfortable with the people there. I am thinking your WI's would be free, although I am not sure cause I haven't made it there yet. (for sure not so with a dietician). Also, it seems to me that many dieticians are not restricting carbs enough these days. I think for many of us, limiting carbs is going to be a way of life. Just my 2 cents.

brelo yes, I would continue to go to the clinic for free, but I am not quite sure how qualifed my coach is. What she said made perfect sense, but not all these people have background in nutrition.

ragdoll I remember her. There are so many new names here, I guess a lot of us 'oldies' who'a think I'd say that?? aren't around as much anymore.

Thank you both for your kind words.

M35A2 OMG you made me tear up!!! Ireland seems like a lifetime ago!! Thank you so much for your kind words. You've made me remember I've met some nice people here and made a few friends.

DH met me when I was heavy and loved me. I know I was just being over emotional. I am sure my Mom loved me too.

Please keep me updated on your trip.

LOVE your avatar!!!!

I would suggest you go to the maintenance thread and ask questions. They have all been there and has done it so can give you insights. One thing I have noticed is that the poeople who go on to successful maintaining become quite physically active so there should be people there who can give you valid advice about transitioning to maintaining and exercising.
You have done incredibly well!

NN: I have had the same reaction as you..shock moments when I look at old pictures. I cannot believe that I weighed that much. I have been maintaining for one year and 8 months. What happens while you are losing is that you develop healthy habits and ways of eating, that you continue while maintaining. Plus with IP you can always do p1 when you gain some up pounds. It seems scary at first, but you really get used to a new liefstyle.
I know you can do it!