So maybe vacation wasn't such a good idea, and maybe attempting to weigh myself afterwards wasn't such a good idea either. In fact, at this point I have no idea how high in weight I started or even where I am right now. I tried my mom's scale that goes up to 270 and I thought (stupidly) that it would continue going around and I'd just add that number to the 270. Wrong. It stops after a certain point and it's not accurate what so ever. Last night I got on my mother-in-law's scale that apparently goes up to 350, and I got an E. I'm guessing that means I'm too fat for that scale. So I guess I'm a lot bigger than I thought. I don't even have the slightest inkling where I started or how far I've come. I haven't dropped any clothes sizes necessarily. I've been MyFitnessPal'ing calories for someone who weighs apparently at least 40 lbs. less than me. Am I shoving my body into starvation mode? Am I still eating the wrong things? I have no idea what to do. I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm obviously not getting very far. I wish there was just a weight range that went with like clothes sizes depending on height so I could at least SORT OF figure out where I am? I can't go to a doctor, I don't have insurance, and I don't have the money to pay them. I just need help.

Start by saving up to buy a scale that you can use. I'll tell you my dirty secret: When I first weighed, before my scale showed up, I went out to a truck weigh station on the highway at night. You may also just ask at a local hospital if you can use their bariatric one. I have a WW that goes to 400 pounds and it was reasonably priced.

Secondly, decide exactly what plan you want to follow, even if it's just counting calories, and get going. I would start at 1500 calories until you get an accurate weight and know where you stand from a bmr point. Exercise if you can. Any movement will help. Stock up with the on plan food you love, and drink lots of water. Watch your portions and measurements carefully.

Like me, you're at a weight where you probably hold on to a lot more water than most people. I can go up as much as ten pounds from being off plan or TOM. So now, consider yourself "recovering" from vacation. Throw yourself into it! Be excited to have new goals! Take your measurements. Set fit goals.

We all backslide. My scale was 40 pounds off when I replaced it, and that threw me. I've been losing the same 15 pounds for 5 months now, so I have to look for the progress my body is making. Sticking with it is a reward in it's own!

Ok... just relax for a moment... I am sure it is not as bad as it seems right now...

I certainly agree with Jane. Everything is going to be alright. Just start where you are and do what you know works. I saw your progress pictures you are doing something right girl!!!

Drink lots of water... exercise... start counting calories so you know what you are doing and then when you find out your weight you can adjust up or down on the calories...

My scales were off by at least 10 pounds so it looked like I was doing so much better than I was... I bought a new set of WW scales from walmart for about $30 and they weigh me just about the same everyday... but never up or down 10 pounds within a minute of each weighing... (yes if I saw an unrealistic number I would get back on and it might be about right, 10 pounds heavier or it might be even 10 more pounds lighter)...

You can do this... I have faith in you!!!

Well, I'm also the queen of jumping to conclusions too quickly. Found out that I'm just a moron who doesn't know how to use a digital scale and the "E" means I stepped on it wrong and I have to reset it. I still really screwed up on vacation though and I'm having a hard time reeling myself back in. Jane, I retain water like its my f'in job. On vacation I totally said screw it and didn't drink that much water. Now I'm having only ice tea and water and I'm not swelling up to the size of a balloon with the humidity.

Does anyone use Pinterest? If so, do you have a recipes/food section? I'm having a hard time because we're on a budget, usually stupid busy, and I'm not exactly cooking inclined. I'm not cooking declined either, but simplicity is best. Oh, and my husband is relatively picky.

I have a recipes board on pinterest, you can follow me here: http://pinterest.com/jslh2012/boards/

Just keep in mind that I pin all recipes there, so there's some not diet friendly stuff, but I also have a lot of low carb, gluten free and paleo recipes that are diet go to's.

Yeah, I have a lot on mine too that aren't necessarily diet friendly. I've been tweaking things to make them more diet friendly, though. I followed you, I'm Jenn Hatter.

I see that

And you are incredibly awesome. Remember that the next time the scale pisses you off or you're ballooned up with water.

We went all the way out east by vehicle last summer, and my bf is a dawdler, so in the end we ended up driving 30 hours with virtually no stopping. I was nearly 500 pounds, I was drinking nothing but soda and I was so swollen I could barely walk when we got there.

I'm glad your scale experience was user error! It will be nice to have a starting number. Take measurements too, if you haven't already.

Even after losing a ton of weight, I looked at myself in a particular position and thought, I don't look like I lost 100 lbs, I must have put some weight back on. I weigh myself, and no gain. I thought, it must be that I had muscle and it turned to fat, so I should try on some of my old bigger clothes, they probably fit again. Nope. Just my eyes or brain playing tricks. My point is ... it's nice to have concrete measurables.

Don't be too hard on yourself when you don't meet your own behavioral expectations. Just try something different to get your head back in the place it was when things were working, because you DID lose weight and change your shape, even if you can't always see it.

I know I've lost weight, probably around 30 lbs. but I obviously refused to let myself know how high I started cause I'd probably freak out. I've been measuring my waist and it's been semi fluctuating between an inch or so depending on the day. I know it's working, but I'm so incredibly impatient. I need to stop cheating. The problem is, some days I'm just hungry. Hungry ALL day long. I think I'm going to just get an ice tea from dunkin from now on and have a couple of hard boiled eggs for breakfast. I just don't have time in the morning to sit in line while construction goes on across the street making it impossible to get out. This morning I skipped breakfast all together, now I'm all messed up and hungry D:

You've got it, wheezy, you can't skip breakfast.

The other trick I use when hunger hits (which it does for a week or so monthly) is to try to make sure that (1) I do stay hydrated--sometimes we think we're hungry when we're actually thirsty and (2) I try to make snacks high in water--apples, watermelon, yogurt if I want more substance, sugar free jello, stuff like that.

Hang in there! You can do this, and clearly you DO want to, because you're still here and posting.

My suggestion is to talk to someone who can guide you through this process. Blogs are a great way to communicate with people who are and have been in the same position as you. Contact a blog owner of a site you personally like, more often than not, they are very willing to help you out in whatever problems you may be running into