Had to break up with my boyfriend... (Please no homophobic or antigay people)

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  • I broke up with my boyfriend. I have known I liked girls since i was 13-I was always confused about boys-and I used to identify as a lesbian before I met him. He was so nice and sweet. I tried so hard to return his feelings... but I just couldn't. I couldn't connect with him (romantically speaking) or any guy for that matter. I couldn't feel anything either. Also I wasn't physically attracted to him. When I did it I called him (Not text-called) and I was about to cry in fact a few tears hung by my eyes and it even showed in my voice. He took it well-was still hurt but took it well and said he somewhat expected it and told me not to be upset. And we are gonna stay good friends and still hang out. His parents support me and our friendship which is great. He's got cool parents. I glad I did it now instead of later-that would have been worse. I am proud of who I am and who I will always be.

    I am so happy I didn't lose a good friend and that I am now certain of myself. I am relieved.
  • Glad you figured it out and it turned out the way you wanted it to
  • Way better for both of you to be honest with yourself and who you are.

    I personally think that you're very brave indeed!
  • What a relief it must be for you, even though I know it was a difficult thing for you to do. So glad you can move forward in the right direction!
  • My brother dated a girl for 3 years. When they broke up amicably and he found a guy he really loved, you could see he was truly happy. I am happy for you.
  • Sounds like you did the right thing. It must be such a relief for you
  • I'm so glad you were able to do what is right for yourself. Not only is it brave that you stood up to your now ex-boyfriend and friend, but it's also brave that you were open about why.

    Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us Cheers to you always feeling so in control of yourself and so proud of who you are, baby!!!
  • Wolfgirl... You really did not lose him.. he is your friend and friends stick around alot longer than a "boyfriend or Girlfriend" (I hope you both still get dressed up for movies etc!!) But now You are in tune with what you want and there is nothing better than to know what and who you are!
  • You did a very brave thing. It's hard having to hurt someone but you have to be who you really are. And it's awesome that you can stay friends!!!
  • I think people worry way too much about labels and stuff. Some people just know that they are gay or straight and some people go through phases and some people it takes them awhile to figure out sexuality.

    My point is, just be happy and don't worry about labels and just worry about being a good person which it seems like you are!
  • Thank you everyone so much for your support. Yes it is a huge relief. I can't wait to start my next relationship with a girl! Maybe I'll meet her next school year! Or at a gay pride event! Who knows I may meet her at the grocery store! lol Again thank you everyone!
  • Quote: I think people worry way too much about labels and stuff. Some people just know that they are gay or straight and some people go through phases and some people it takes them awhile to figure out sexuality.

    My point is, just be happy and don't worry about labels and just worry about being a good person which it seems like you are!
    Well being gay isn't just a label its a community. Also we're kinda fighting for acceptance and our rights right now. But I do see where your coming from. Some people make it their everything and let it define. I've been one of them before. I admit I do attend gay pride events (Or did I guess) and where a rainbow bandana wrapped around my thigh on my jeans (To send a signal since gaydar isn't real and guesses are something to rely on) and two of my favorite musical groups are "Tegan and Sara" and "t.A.T.u." lol (I like their music and it helps me have common ground with other lesbian young people). But like I said we're also a community and even a family. We've come to rely on each other for support. Again I see where your coming from. i once went to school with what some would call a "flaming" gay guy.... he talked "that way" (Idk what to call it lol) to the extreme and was obsessed. I used to be that way-minus the accent so... But yea.
  • Quote: Well being gay isn't just a label its a community. Also we're kinda fighting for acceptance and our rights right now. But I do see where your coming from. Some people make it their everything and let it define. I've been one of them before. I admit I do attend gay pride events (Or did I guess) and where a rainbow bandana wrapped around my thigh on my jeans (To send a signal since gaydar isn't real and guesses are something to rely on) and two of my favorite musical groups are "Tegan and Sara" and "t.A.T.u." lol (I like their music and it helps me have common ground with other lesbian young people). But like I said we're also a community and even a family. We've come to rely on each other for support. Again I see where your coming from. i once went to school with what some would call a "flaming" gay guy.... he talked "that way" (Idk what to call it lol) to the extreme and was obsessed. I used to be that way-minus the accent so... But yea.
    That isn't exactly what I mean. I think fighting for gay rights is one of the most important causes right now because I think denying people the right to love is probably one of the worse things you can do.

    I just don't think anyone should let any one thing define you. I hope for the day that you do not have to have that sort of community; that the community you create will be purely based in love/like/interest and not on the fact that you are all being discriminated against.

    I am not saying that sort of community is invalid but as minority and a woman who has been discriminated against I wish I didn't have to self-segregate myself in order to protect myself. Honestly, I just don't see anything positive about the fact that we are forced into a community because other people dislike us. We should being creating communities on more important things other than our skin color, gender or sexuality.



    Sorry about that rant!
  • Quote: That isn't exactly what I mean. I think fighting for gay rights is one of the most important causes right now because I think denying people the right to love is probably one of the worse things you can do.

    I just don't think anyone should let any one thing define you. I hope for the day that you do not have to have that sort of community; that the community you create will be purely based in love/like/interest and not on the fact that you are all being discriminated against.

    I am not saying that sort of community is invalid but as minority and a woman who has been discriminated against I wish I didn't have to self-segregate myself in order to protect myself. Honestly, I just don't see anything positive about the fact that we are forced into a community because other people dislike us. We should being creating communities on more important things other than our skin color, gender or sexuality.



    Sorry about that rant!
    well the community thing formed decades ago. So it's kind of a tradition now and we've formed a loving family is all. We have common ground. And these communities help us meet people too. It's actually fun and enjoyable. We play games, dance, eat, make friends, and more! But it's not like all my friends are gay or anything haha. That would be kinda weird. I hear where you're coming from though totally.
  • Being honest in relationships is very important. It eliminates deception and decreases the level of hurt feelings and confusion. You have accepted your authentic self, and you have released a love one so that he can find love with someone who will return his love. These are all good things. Your decision was wise and shows that you are a compassionate person who is maturing daily.