I don't even know where to begin, but I know I have a long way to go!

  • Hi, I'm Annie and I just turned 22 years old on the 27th. I will try not to write a novel! Where to begin...
    So I have been thinking about joining OA for about 6 months now but I didn't know where to start. I was still in denial about my eating habits, convincing myself that there isn't a problem; that when I had gone to the doctor's for a checkup three months before that the scale must have been off. I erased the number from my mind.

    Last thursday the local gym was having a promo so I got a great membership deal. My boyfriend said I should go, because he knew I missed being fit and that I could use the exercise. However, he never comments on my weight or my size. He has always been encouraging me to cook healthy meals and drink water instead of getting in on the junk food and popping in a game on the PS3 whenever I get a chance.

    So I joined the gym and went in to exercise thinking I could do what I was able to do my first year of college. Yeah...I was a little shocked at my body. Then I went to weigh myself after a decent cardio workout. I was shocked and weighed myself 3-4 times. I felt so overwhelmed by the number that I immediately burst into tears. Me, exactly 260 pounds. I couldn't believe it.

    Never in my LIFE had I thought I could be this big. I played lacrosse and tennis in high school, I was always hitting the gym. I've been "chubby" most of my life, but always ready to jog with my team or get on the elliptical. I was okay being a size 12. I saw no problem since I was healthy. Since the start of high school my weight had been between 150-180 lbs, going up and down, but never past the 180.

    And after I got home from the gym I started to notice why my clothes were so small, I REALLY was in denial here. But I just can't stop eating. I love to cook and I love to eat. I don't eat out at fast food, and when we do it's only twice a month. I thought I was doing great! But being sedentary for the past two years with no gym and no workouts, gorging myself in the kitchen, has led me here. I have shattered that illusion that I clung to, hoping no one would see the pounds I packed on, avoiding people so they won't see me in person...I am a complete mess.

    Sorry! This is so long but I had to tell somebody! I love this forum. It really seems fantastic. After lurking a bit I thought I would introduce myself. I am looking to break free of my food addiction and form a healthy relationship with food. And I wish I could wave a wand and make 100lbs disappear!
  • "And I wish I could wave a wand and make 100lbs disappear!" You're not alone in that wish Bunnydream...I keep looking for that wand, but I think it's eating right and exercising....no magic fix or fairy godmother (or godfather!) can do it for us.
  • Welcome and good luck! You can do it, and everyone here is so supportive and friendly
  • Welcome! Admitting is the first step! Now get a plan and a support system. The two things I would have failed without!
  • Bunnydream Welcome! I can completely relate to that feeling of just being in complete denial. I weighed in a little heavier than you at 269 when I had that moment. It has been an up/down struggle for me since then, but I can tell you I have tried OA and it really helped a lot. It sounds like you understand what the problems are. I have no doubt if you take it one step at a time, you will get there!

    100 pounds is a scary number (trust me, I know, I have it to lose too), but 25 pounds isn't. Just focus on that first 25 first. You will be amazed how much better you feel after just losing that.

    Good luck and I'll see ya around the forum!
  • Hey Bunnydream...I could have written your post word for word. Except my highest weight was 279 and I was 32. I joined a subset of OA called the Greysheet and it saved my life. I would suggest checking out an OA meeting and listening to what they're saying. It may or may not be the plan for you but it doesn't hurt to listen. After I spoke with my sponsor for the first time, I committed to giving it one month. I said that I could do anything for a month and I'd reevaluate after that. I never looked back and it's been almost 11 months.

    I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.
  • Welcome to 3fc! You are going to do great on your weight loss journey. It does take time but you will lose the weight. We are here for your every step of the way !
  • Everyone, thank you for your support and suggestions. I feel very welcomed. I joined a 7am OA meeting yesterday and it was powerful. I loved it. I will continue to go to the meetings! It is the first step. I also made a LoseIt! account and I have put everything in for that day! It's surprising how much I think is a "small" amount! I really like LoseIt because you can really keep track of what you are putting in your mouth, not just guessing.
    I am glad to have support here! I have hope that I will learn a lot and reach my goal! Thank you once again.
  • Welcome and good luck on your journey!!
  • Good luck! You can do it!

    I had a similar epiphany two weeks ago and have been in IP program for two weeks now.

    Stay on the track and you are at the right place!