I have been doing well managing my depression with exercise, sun exposure and working on positive thinking. I'm supposed to be on meds, but gave them up years ago because none I have ever been put on helped. (And if they helped it would be for a while and then I'd feel awful again.) I do not suggest others quit taking their meds.

Anyway, this year has been off to a sad start for me, really. An old friend of mine died out of the blue 3 weeks ago, alcohol related. My little yorkie died from cancer a few weeks ago as well.

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I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I go through depression issues now and then, although I have not been formally diagnosed. I wish my boyfriend would want sex more. I feel like if I want it, oh well. But if he wants it, oh boy!

Do you think the porn thing with your husband is an addiction? It sounds like it has nothing to do with you.

I am not sure what I can say to make you feel better but just keep up with what you are doing to get yourself in shape. In time, it will all come together for you. You already see you legs looking better. The rest will follow.

And maybe you needed to vent. I know it makes me feel better. This is the right place to do it.

Good luck!

I'm gonna admit something to you. I watch porn. I'm in a sexless marriage and I have a pretty high sex drive. There is ZERO correlation between my attraction to real people and the world of porn. The basic truth of it is that with more sex your husband is probably feeling more sexual.

I'll also say that if you have had long periods of sexlessness, he's probably going to have some trust issues around intimacy. But I hope he's at least being respectful about the use of porn. And you have every right to tell him how it makes you feel.

Yes, this. I watch porn too, and so does my husband (though he watches less than I do) and we're still wildly attracted to each other with a happy, active sex life. Like AlmostMe suspects about your husband, when my husband and I are having more sex than usual I also watch more porn than usual because (to be frank!) the more orgasms I have, the more I want. Your husband watching porn doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't think you're beautiful and sexy!

Everyone else has given you great advice already and I doubt I can since I am not in a marriage nor have I have been in a long-term as most of you have but I just wanted to say, I do watch porn as well, likely more than my BF does and like Merilung admitted, the more orgasms I have, the more I want. It doesn't mean I love my guy any less or anything but I would try to make it inclusive or something like that if the BF told me it bothered him or anything like that.

It's more of me needing to vent. I'm hoping to be feeling more on the up and up soon.

Ravenwolf,

Wow! Looking at your ticker you are almost back to Onederland! Hip hip horray!!! My husband has never wanted to watch porn, but he loves to read the magazines with the sex stories in them. He doesn't care for books with pictures just the stories. At first, I was not comfortable with it, but I have learned to realize that hey, maybe he will learn something new from them that we will both enjoy. We are in a sexless marriage due to my recent pelvic mesh surgery and the complications associated with it. I have noticed he is not reading much in the magazines. I think it is associated to our lack of sexual encounters. I am having the mesh removed in the coming weeks. I hope the pain associated with sexual intercourse and foreplay will go away after the surgery. I do feel depressed about not being able to please my husband, but there is nothing I can do about it at this point. (I tried to talk to him about pleasing him in other ways and he said 'No" he would wait until after the surgery. Just know that I am right here with you feeling the misery of depression. If the surgery does not correct my problem, I see myself going back to a counselor.

well dear you just need to relax because your depression is taking away your peace of mind and soul and that make you think like this. Just try to engage yourself in social activities or try to spend time in Montessori schools.

ainiclive

Montessori schools???

Your posts are always so ill-informed and off-topic. Do you even need to lose weight? What are you doing here?

I am very sorry you are feeling so terrible. I fight depression as well. I have been on meds for many years which didn't help my weight. I am off now DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD (Other than comfort foods.) Do you have a close friend you can open up too? You are at the right place for support. Im new here and just love it :)