so i've made some positive changes since joining 3fc, but add some injuries and emotional eating to the mix and i really haven't lost any weight or inches.

i can still say, this is the highest weight i've ever been. and yesterday at work i got a reminder that our annual health assessments are due. if we don't get it done we have to pay more for our health insurance, and i'm too broke to not do it. but omg, i really don't want to go. last year i remember looking at my lab results and saying to myself, next year will be awesome, i can change this in a year. but where am i? heavier, more unhealthy i'm sure. dreading getting my labs and body fat analysis done.

this morning i woke up in a tangle of sheets, soaked in sweat. i dreamt i was even fatter, huge. i couldn't see past my belly, i couldn't find clothes that fit the numerous rolls on my thighs and i was covered in these little scabby diabetic ulcers. in my dream i was dreading my health assessment, because once again i was 'the heaviest i've ever been' and so i was rubbing my sores, looking at my fat rolls in the mirror and chowing down on a huge brownie.

so when does it really change? i've said the same thing over and over and over and over again. this year will be different. this time i will do it. ugh. please please please help me find a way to keep that dream just a dream and not my future. i don't know what makes this year different from all the other years i've said i will change, but i know i can't do this anymore.

I'm so sorry you had a dream like that!

I did the same thing, saying "This year I will lose the weight. It will be different." I did that for years before this year started. Now I AM losing weight and it WILL be different!

This year CAN be your year! But you have to take it one day at a time. If injuries are keeping exercise at bay, then just change your diet and stick with it.

You CAN do this! You CAN make your weight, health and life better! Instead of freaking yourself out, psych yourself up to make the change you want!!!

First congrats on the positive changes... and as far as injuries and emotional eating... well, that's just part of life and is going to happen no matter how "perfect" you're being, so trying to learn from it and not letting it derail you just takes time...

And as far as "totally freaking" yourself out... Sometimes that's not necessarily always a bad thing... Sometimes that's exactly what we need to get us moving in the right direction and it sounds like that's what it's starting to do for you...

You asked "So when does it really change?" Well... of course that depends on you... but it isn't always an all or nothing proposition... sometimes it's just not that simple... sometimes it's gradual and painfully slow... but that's called growth...

on making the changes you have so far, getting started is half the battle

That sounds like a terrible dream. I have had those kinds of nightmares, where in my dreams I just eat and eat and eat until I don't fit in anything (think Alice in wonderland and the white rabbits house....) LOL. But when I woke up from that particular dream, I was horrified and it was kind of a kick in the motivational pants. I had been slipping in my diet goals and clearly my subconscious decided to scare me back on track. The only advice I can give is to use that dream. Think about how horrible it was, how you felt when you woke up. Use it to strengthen your resolve to keep on track. If you catch yourself sneaking to the fridge for an extra snack, or reaching for a soda instead of water, or whatever your personal vices may be. Stop and remember that dream. Then go do something else! Go for a walk, chug the biggest glass of water you can. You have to take it minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. If you slip and have something you know you shouldn't, don't just write off the whole day, vow that the next thing you eat or drink, WILL be what you should be eating.

If all else fails, come here and rant or vent about whatever is happening. There is always an ear , and some advice.

You can do it We all can!!!!

One day at a time! One change at a time. Make each change a habit before moving onto the next change.

First thing I would do is get all the unhealthy food out of the house. If it's easily accessible than you are more likely to eat it than resist when you get frustrated,bored or whatever your trigger is. Not that you can't ever have them. For me, ice cream and sweets are not allowed in my house. We go out for that stuff, only on very special occasions and I am still limited on what I will eat and how much.

You can do it!

I agree with the others all you can do it take it one day at a time. Decide each morning that you are going to make the right choices and be healthy. Set small goals and remember this is going to be a lifestyle change. We are here for you.

Seems like you had to get to the point of "enough is enough", which is what happened to me. I have a friend who also wanted to lose weight and every year since 2008 we would say we were going to do it. We went to the gym for a short while and just quit.

This year I was finally fed up and said "enough is enough". Last Sunday after church, I went straight to the gym and signed up. The next morning at 5am I was there. I find that if I at least get to the gym I'll work out.

For me, working out at home just isn't going to happen. I need to be in an exercise environment. Maybe you should try finding an environment that encourages you to want to exercise. At least you are mentally read, which shows because you are asking for help. Good luck.

thanks everyone, i'm working on using the dream as motivation to move in the right direction. positive results can only come from positive changes, and i can do those. small changes, day by day, bite by bite.

i'm so glad you guys are hear to listen

I think we all have those dreams at some point - those are the dreams that usually precipitate the major, real change. Change happens when you just can't stand it any more - I think they call it "rock bottom," and it stinks, but maybe that is where you are at right now...and that is actually a good thing!

Are you familiar with Prochaska's 6 stages of change? If not, google it - it talks about the subconscious then conscious warm-up that all of us have to go through before we are really ready to make an effective change - trying to change before then will not be successful. It may help you identify where you are in the change cycle and move forward.

You can do this! Remember to be gentle with yourself.

Ughh...what a horrible dream. I got anxious just reading about it. I'm sorry.

I'm not sure if you do this already, but I've found that keeping a food log really helps me. If I write down exactly what I eat each day, I find myself having a lot more willpower.