So I don't really post on here that often, but I definitely use to read this forum a lot. Sorry if it's kind of long :/

I just want any advice from people who have fallen off the wagon. I've been going through a lot of emotional issues lately and I have been turning to an old friend...comfort food. At the beginning of this month, I was struggling with a mild eating disorder and then my boyfriend broke up with me (after I told him about everything I was going through and that I needed him not to give up on me...thanks a lot). So I think that the combination of knowing I was verging on an eating disorder and the emotional stress from the break up, I went on a serious binge. Like, eating until I felt sick and then eating some more. I just couldn't control it. I stopped exercising and just kept eating bad food for like two weeks. As a result, I gained 7 pounds (which is really bad, seeing as I gained it so fast). Now, I just lack the motivation and will power to start up again. But I guess the good news is that I'm not struggling with the eating disorder anymore...now it just changed to binge eating.

I'm really trying to get back into everything, but half of me is just like "what's the point?" I mean I'm not happy with the nice layer of fat that got added on/how I look now...but I just can't get back into the swing of things. Any advice on how to get my motivation back? I just wish I could go back before I binged so much. Sadly, now I got to deal with it the hard way.

I'm sorry, It seems like you have been through a lot.

It can be hard to stay motivated sometimes. I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times because Of some emotional things happening to me. I would get upset and use the food I loved to make me feel better even if I wasn't hungry.

I have often said to myself that I should give up and just deal with being un happy and fat. But There came a time when I looked in the mirror and started to cry. I wasted a lot of my life being un happy. And I got mad.

I got fed up and decided that I didn't want to be fat anymore. But even then I knew I'd have trouble staying motivated and I would be tempted to revert to my old ways when things got hard. I've made a small list of things that help me stay motivated. Maybe they'll help you.

-Fat 2 Fit radio: Fat to fit radio is my absolute favorite podcast. It's these two average joes who have a radio show talking about healthy weight loss. No fancy products or ads for crazy lose 50 pounds in a week detox diets. They give very good advice and they keep it real. They go over all sorts of things like what BMI means, tips for picking a gym, eating healthy, exercise, and they even have a healthy recipe at the end of each show. All the shows are over 20 minutes, so they are good to listen to when working out.
You have to pay for the first 25 shows, but 26-146+ are all free. They are on itunes and have their own web site.

-Tumblr: Tumblr has a lot of nice fitspo blogs. I go there a lot and I find it helps. Be careful when you search though. make sure you type in "fitspo" and not "thinspo" Thinspo is proanna type stuff. Fitspo is for healthy weight loss.

-Letters to Myself: Today I decided to write letters to my self. I wrote one letter for every 25 pounds I lose. I printed them out, sealed them, and wrote "25, 50, 75, 100, goal" on the out side. And every time I make it to one of those numbers , I'll open and read it. I cried when I wrote them...I was telling my self how strong and proud I was. It really helped me do some soul searching. Here's a part of my first "you lost 25 pounds" letter.

"I don’t want to be the me I am right now, I want to be the you who is reading this.

25 seems like a small number but it’s not! You are only 25 pounds away from losing 50 ****ing pounds! That’s crazy! Just think the next time you get to read a letter you’ll BE UNDER 220 POUNDS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR ****ING LIFE!!!

-With love, You.
p.s. Thank you for getting this far, It might not mean much to you but it means everything to me, you are changing my life, please stay strong!
"

Maybe if you write letters to yourself You can stay motivated. Put them in a place that's always within sight and think to your self "I don't want to let me down!"

I read once that the definition of h.e.l.l. is seeing what you became and what you could have become.

I want to become someone I love.

Sorry this is so long! If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me!

well, first of all hunnie, bingeing can be a disorder too, so yeah, it's good that you're coming on here to try to get some help. many of us on here also suffer from that so we can definitely offer some advice.

second, big hugs
the pain of a heartbreak is not something that will magically go away, and we all have our different ways to deal with it. personally, after a really bad breakup, i can't eat anything at all! but if i am stressed thinking that my boyfriend "may" want to be breaking up with me? oh boy, can't shovel food down my gullet fast enough. I also suffered with binge eating disorder when i was younger, and i would often do like what you described : eating to the point of feeling sick, waiting til it passed, then continuing eating a few hours later. these are definitely not normal behaviours. but they are ingrained deeply into us and it takes a lot of work and mental training to try to get rid of them.

for now, i would just focus on trying to keep yourself busy. if you are busy doing something else, you won't think (as much...) about how sad you are and you won't turn to food to make you feel better. when i broke up with my bf last time, i was in the middle of summer vacation and i had so much free time and most of my friends were out of the country and i live in a foreign country so my family was not here for support, and i was just freakin miserable. at one point, i got the totally random idea that i was gonna do a puzzle. i know it sounds a little bit ******ed, but i went and i fetched a puzzle from a toy store (this involved showering, and getting out of the house, lol) and then, when i was focusing on doing the stupid thing, it took all my concentration. So if you can find something to do like that, or an activity. it could even be a sport, or going to the gym (kill two birds with one stone) or anything.

just hang in there and try to control your eating a bit. and if you can't control it, then try to at least eat healthy foods like vegetables and protein.

good luck. big hugs, and we're there if you need us.


oh and watsonishere had a lot of good advice about getting back on the diet wagon (though i do think you should just focus on trying to heal your heart and limit the damage, rather than going right back into weightloss action...) I also get a lot of inspiration from thinspo on tumblr and i made my own fitspo blog! you can check it here if you like http://kawaiicandieishere.tumblr.com/

Hugs

I think tackling one thing at a time is sound advice. Get the bingeing under control. Take it one day at a time.
Next, time to evaluate your relationships. This break up may be the best thing that could have happened. Do some soul searching.
When you feel more at peace, then return to weight loss.

Good luck!!!

Thanks you guys.

I know binge eating is an eating disorder too...I guess I just went from one extreme to another. Haha. I'm trying really hard to get the bingeing under control...it's a lot harder than I expected. But like you guys said, I guess it is just one day at a time. At least now I'm stopping myself/thinking twice before eating more food. It's just hard because I want it, but I know it's not because I'm hungry.

And luckily being busy is the theme of my life right now. I'm a student and I have a really intense schedule. But it also means, lots of study snacks and what I like to call "procrastin-eating" (eating so I can put off work, haha).

I always thought I would be the kind of person that wouldn't eat anything after a bad breakup, but I think the fact that I wasn't eating a lot before the breakup and knowing that I had that problem, I just went overboard in the other direction. I think I just need to find a good balance.

But I think I'm getting back on track....after drinking a lot of water and working out yesterday, I stepped on the scale and it said 130! So now I guess it's only 2 pounds I gained. Definitely got some of my motivation back after seeing that...because now it isn't as much of a set back. (But I'm still mentally prepared for it to go back up a little bit...the body does weird things) Thanks for your support! I think I just needed to write it down for accountability. Haha

well, weight gained from bingeing is often not real gain unless you binge continually for a long period of time. so if you've stopped, it's a good sign if your weight has dropped back down a bit

good luck, and hang in there!

Haha yeah, good thing! Such a relief. But it was definitely a wakeup call that my actions have consequences! Haha.

I did some thinking on the elliptical today, I'm gonna just try to maintain right now while I sort through everything. I mean, I'm still gonna try to hit them gym and eat well...but I'm not gonna focus on weight loss. That way too, I can eat more calories (so I hopefully won't binge as much) and try to get a better relationship with food. I think once I get everything under control, then I can focus on weight loss again.

I went through the same thing when my ex dumped me. It took a while before I got back on the wagon diet & exercise wise, and even longer for me to get back in the game mentally. But, you can do it. I kept telling myself that people do it ALL the time - lots of us on here have! I don't really have any advice, except that it'll get better. I think "getting back on the wagon" is a personal struggle that is different for everyone. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.