I'm not a beginner. I'm not a maintainer. I'm still stuck in the losing phase going on my second Scratch that, THIRD year.

First year I was perfect January through mid-December. All last year I yo-yoed the pounds up and down. I got SO CLOSE to goal, but then went on vacation and gained. I lost almost all of that weight and then this fall life got so unbelievably busy and I didn't balance things well and I "lost it" in two parts - once in late October and again in December.

So here I am in January 2013 with nearly 30 pounds to lose to get to goal and almost 25 pounds to get to my previous all time low.

I have tons of motivation. I'm doing well, but I don't feel I have a place. I have all the tools. I'm not worried about succeeding or not - I know I will, but it's still nice to have like-souled people around me.

With so many new to this "changing lifestyle" thing, I don't fit the mold. I know what I need to do. I've done it. I just need to continue with it.

I exercise regularly. I'm fairly fit now. So, I don't fit with the new to exercise people.

But I never made it to goal and I sucked at even maintaining my weight for a few months while things got crazy. So, I don't fit with the maintainers either.

I'm not new. I'm not a mainainer and I'm not really a re=starter as I never gave up at anything to start over.

It's similar with the Biggest Winner contest I'm doing at the gym. I'm starting with a good feeling on my eating, my fitness level and on weight loss. I just joined it to push myself a bit harder and to get some PT sessions for a lower price. Tomorrow I have a nutritionist consult. I know what she will say and what to expect. I don't want to go, but it's a requirement of the program. She'll say I need more greens (the last few weeks have been less than usually) and probably to rely less on protein bars (again, an easy go to for times I'm busy).

I don't know. I don't feel I fit anywhere as I'm a weirdo who hasn't gotten to goal and who hasn't quit and who knows my body and my patterns, but still haven't gotten it all together to FINISH this thing. (if there is such thing as finishing this thing).

So... I peruse all these posts every day and so few are relevant to me or are interesting to me. In the beginning I responded to so much... but now, I scroll through new posts and might find 1 or 2 things to respond to.

I feel homeless.

I think you're where a lot of people are actually. I've found it a bit crazy since the new year too, with SOOOO many newbies, refreshing at times with all the enthusiasm. You've been at it this round longer than I have, but I too am not new to this, not maintaining yet, not new to exercise or any new diet.

Is it perhaps that you have the back-to-it blues?

Just wanted to say hi and I read your post. I feel bad that you feel "homeless" but I can see where you are coming from.

Your responses in the forum are always a wealth of helpful information (thanks again for that walking website last night, I loved it!) and your experience sharing with others is much appreciated.

I wish we had more forum members like you, you make it around to a lot of the same threads I do and help whereever you can with easy to understand answers. I hope some day I can help you in some way the way you have helped me, on my own threads and others that I may have just lurked.

I relate so much with your current situation. Not a beginner, not a maintainer, not really a re-starter (I have yo-yoed up and down some since the initial big weight loss, but not a big enough amount that I've ever felt I was "starting over") and I never quite reached goal. And I, too, find not many of the threads here relevant to me any longer, so I just lurk about from time to time to draw inspiration. Heck, I even have about the same to lose: about 30 lb to get to goal, and about 20 lb would bring me to the lowest I ever reached previously.

So please know you're not alone!

Welcome to my world!

I'm in the exact same spot. Except I started back in September of 2009 to seriously lose weight and here I am almost four years later and I haven't reached goal yet.

I know what I have to do, but right now, life has gotten in the way and it's not that I need to learn about nutrition or what exercise I like to do, because I have it all figured out.

But it is hard to find others who are in the same place that I am.

In part, for me, at least, it's because I don't know what I need right now. I don't lose weight easily. But I know that if I could devote my life to losing weight right now, I could lose the pounds I gained over Christmas. But I don't have that right now (I'm trying to finish school) and so I still come to 3FC because I think if I don't come here, it's license to go hog-wild. I know I won't, but I'm afraid I will and suddenly I'll wake up and be 200 lbs again.

I wish I had an answer for you, but if you start a group or a thread or something, I'll totally be there. Even if it's just to procrastinate on my schoolwork while I munch on some chips.

I'm in a similar position.
I've been at this for 2 years. Losing very slowly..partly by design and partly because of the pre-menopausal thing. I know I'm doing the right stuff - eating healthy, exercising etc. but with messed up TOM (or none at all for months at a time) I only have a small time during the month where I actually lose anything.

You're not alone! I used to read a lot more of the posts but now find that so many are not relevant to my situation that I just glance through them. Still find lots of motivation but just does'nt always apply to my life.

I know the feeling. I mean, you can only type "weight loss isn't linear" so many times. :P

I think so it's so important to come to these boards even if you don't post, because even reading posts keep you mentally in the game. I've noticed people that have disappeared for a few months and eventually when they come back they're up however much in pounds.

I wonder which comes first? Does visiting the board less and less lead to gaining pounds or does gaining pounds make people uncomfortable coming back?

Wow, I completely understand because that is how I have felt the past month.
You are appreciated here, I lurk moreso these days but you post valid threads and have
perseverance, even if it doesn't feel like it.Also with the winter months it might be tougher to get good greens to the table. Can you find some deals on some frozen veggies?
As far as the new year goes, I have noticed the 'freshman' with great vigor rushing all the groups as they do in our local gyms. One last thought, (sheepishly admitting) I've been at this since late 2001. Ugh, that was embarrassing to admit. You're not alone, all of us on this thread are w/u.

I LOVE YOU, MELISSA!

Seriously, I agree with what Stephanie said. I feel like you sometimes, too; although I also haven't been at this as long, being near the end of my journey it just seems like I'm just going through the motions and everyone else is either all motivated cause they just started or they're done losing and they're maintaining so they can give more advice cause they've "been there done that". I think everybody who is still in-process feels like they're ready to be in the "been there done that" category, haha.

Honey, you've lost weight -- you're a maintainer! One of the problems is that people think maintenance means they have to have kept all the weight off. NOT SO!! Maintenance is about making things work for life -- and there are LOTS of struggles in life.

Seriously, head over there and see!!

I hear you! Being in year four AND not able to actively pursue weight loss in any significant way, thanks to the pregnancy, I just float around a few boards on here and don't say much. Since I'm essentially maintaining, I'd spend most of my time on that board, but it's pretty quiet there, too. Oh well

You have been a great inspiration for me. I remember when you were swim suit shopping.

YOU, gave me the courage to go out and buy the 2 piece swim suit I liked and wanted. No, it was not a bikini, I'm a gramma, I've had kids, my weight has been up and down. But I found a cute pair of high waist bottoms and a cute underwire top that kept the girls in check and I wore it in public. Because of you!

You have lost a lot, and you have maintained a lot of those lost pounds, and you are still working on fitness, and nutrition.

Life, despite our best intentions, does happen. Fall down seven times, get up eight!

Most of all please do not give up, a lot of us here look up to you! In a lot of ways, you are what a lot of us here are. You help us, with your insight, and wisdom!

My avatar is not me! Should change that! *grins*

Hi Melissa,

As the members above me have all mentioned in their plentitude of knowledge and insight- you are not alone.

September 2013 will mark the 4 year mark of my journey. On average, I have been about 20 lbs from my goal for almost a year. I have also been feeling homeless, on this forum. Chin up, you/we are not alone!!

I think that this is the point where it IS a lifestyle, and not a rash decision!

I hear ya! I'm kind of in the same boat. I've been at this for almost two years. Last year I kept bouncing around between 220 and 230. I haven't given up completely, but I'm not as committed as I was in 2011.

I feel ya! I've lost a good bit of weight so far, but it's taken a really, really long time (@ 8 or 9 years!!) and I go in and out of periods of losing and a occasionally gaining a little.

Like other posters have said, maybe we all should readjust how we see the word "maintaining" and allow ourselves the time to get to where we ultimately want to be!

:-)