What do you think the appropriate consequence (READ PUNISHMENT) should be for a 9.5 year old boy who calls their mother a "jerk"?




Looking for a little perspective here since my first thought was castration.

Thanks!

peach

Castration seems a tad severe as you may want to have grandkids someday. Maybe just a half castration?

First of all, were you a jerk or was it just a gratuitous insult?

I found the best punishment I could give my kids at that age was to just ignore them - no talking to them and no snacks lovingly prepared. I never could withold meals, however.

Or, put him on the bus and send him up here to me. I could use a slave.

Good luck, Peachie!

Grounded big time! I'd say for a week. School only, after school in the bedroom. Out for dinner, toilet breaks, and baths. Toys and cool stuff removed from the room first. Kids!

I think I ended up either pinning my son on the floor with my foot on his neck - or was that the time I slammed my daughter up against the wall?? Hmmmmmm... not sure. I really don't go for that disrespect thing.

a bus trip sounds nice. he's always wanted to see other parts of the country, and would certainly love to see canada.

work detail sounds good, too. or, even more sadistic, maybe even finding him a community volunteer project.

and, maybe he should have to PAY for the privilege of getting food, going to school, doing chores, breathing, whatever.

I'm a big fan of the "profound disappointment" school of thought, expressed as Ruth said, coupled with a really horrible punishment like having to write a note of apology and the lose of a privilege.

Good Luck!

Hmmmmm.....find out why he called you a jerk. Talk it out with him, no matter how pissed you are at him, or how hurt it made you feel. Dish out the punishment with his clear understanding that his behaviour was not acceptable, and have him repeat back to you why he is being punished (thru-out the punishment) Im sure he will see what a jerk he was for treating you that way.

yes, I suppose in his eyes I am a jerk. He smacked his brother in the head and then told me it was an accident. When I called him on it he went into the bathroom (cause the accoustics are better? ) and said, "you are such a jerk!"

I explained about the little boy who cried wolf, took his gameboy away for the week and made him write 100 times...."thou shall not piss off thy mom."

Ok, it was only 30 times of "I will speak kindly of others and treat others as I would like to be treated"

BUT, I still like the "thou shall not piss off thy mom"! much better...maybe next time? Or maybe the one about pinning him to the floor .....that was good!

Thanks for your help and perspective chickies!
peach

I have to admit that I have used the soap-bar-briefly-in-mouth method of punishment for bad language/name calling. And I don't beleive that it was necessary to repeat the method - once per kid was all it took.

I know, a bit harsh and old fashioned but hey, I had 3 kids in 3 1/2 years and I had to maintain control or it would have been a madhouse around here.

I also used the bathroom as the time-out room since I didn't want to make them dislike their bedrooms.

Hang in there, Peachie -

Kel

IMHO too much talk and not enough action (read punishment) in today's child rearing methods.
Children need boundaries and a kid who is calling you names is just begging to be restrained. Foot on throat sounds good. Lips wet and stuck to wall is another excellent method. Unfortunately both are illegal. However, the more dramatic and imaginative the punishment you come up with the better remembered it will be. And, believe it or not, in years to come, those slightly wacky punishments are the ones they will brag about to their friends.
My girlfriend's mother was famous for her innovative ways of making her toe the line. Once, when she came home late from a party (like 3 a.m.) in a slightly inebriated state, her mother was waiting with a bucket of soapy water and a scrub brush and made her wash the kitchen floor.
Once my Dad overheard me sassing my Mom and I was grounded for two weekends with the task of painting the white picket fence surrounding our yard..and it was a loooooooong fence. Unlike Tom Sawyer, I couldn't con my pals into doing it for me either.

Sometimes, just knowing that you've disappointed and shamed a parent can be a major life lesson. That's when the silent treatment and the softly spoken rebuke is very effective. "Son, we thought better of you and we're very disappointed in your behaviour" NOW YOU GET FORTY LASHES AND KEEL HAULED!

If anyone cares, I'm busily taking notes here. I have 18 month old twins and have briefly considered the foot-on-the-throat approach on too many occasions... I keep thinking "oh, when they're THREE they'll be so much easier... or when they're SIX... or when they're TEN!" I guess it never gets easier, eh?

Thanks Kel and Linda! I appreciate your input and Kel, you reminded me that when my kids were smaller that I used to put my thumb in the vinegar bottle and brush it along their teeth when they would bite.

Is it any wonder they don't like salad dressing?

and Adrienne I don't think it does get any easier BUT I sure am sleeping better than when my kids were babes. My mother in law used to tell me, "little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems."

nice to see you here!

peach

Thanks Jenny!

taking away the gameboys is turning out to be torture!!!! hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

and....the soap IS out and on the kitchen table....just in case!

peach