I have stuggled with disordered eating for around 2 years now. I rarely eat over 500 calories a day, and feel full and mentally bad if I eat any more. I am trying to gain a more positive mindset about food, but I would still like to lose weight in a more healthy way, although this will be difficult.
I feel like if I go above my current intake, I will gain a lot of weight because I have done in the past. Have I completely ruined my metabolism by eating this little? How can I fix it?
I would be really grateful for any replies

You don't need three fat chicks.

You need real help from professionals. A doctor, a shrink, and a nutritionist. In that order.

What JohnP said. People here don't want to help you starve yourself, which is what you're doing at 500 cals/day.

Please get some treatment for your disorder. I wish you the best health, both mentally and physically.

5'8" current weight 138...that's ideal/norm...why are you losing weight. I'm with John...with some help, you learn to eat nutritiously without gaining, but losing would bring you below ideal or norm...is that your goal?

I have suffered from eating disorders in the past and I feel your pain. There are forums for people with your issues (elsewhere) but there is no substitute for professional help. I'm sorry I don't know the answers to your questions about metabolism but many of us are still losing weight at 1500 cals.

I really hope that you find the help you need. I know where you are coming from- I have had my struggles with food and body issues as well. I went from restricting to binge eating and because I never found a healthy relationship with food, it's still a daily struggle. Talk to someone. Start with a friend or family member you can trust. 500 calories per day will do more damage mentally that physically, and the more you restrict- the worse it will get (at least in my experience). I also noticed that your goal weight is 110. I once weighed 122- we are the same height- and while at the time I thought I looked great, I now look back at pictures and realized that people weren't lying when they told me that I looked sick. My hair was falling out, my skin was dull, my fingernails were brittle...

Talk to someone. Ask for help. I know that for me, having a "fitness" goal (mine was running)- gave me something new to focus on besides just my weight. I HAD to fuels body or my workouts would suffer- and suddenly, my thoughts stopped revolving around how skinny I was, and more about how healthy I was. There is a huge difference.

I know you may be in a different place and mindset than me, but just from your post- it sounds like we may have some similarities. Just talking to my DH (boyfriend at the time) and sister was life-changing.

Be healthy and happy. Skinny won't do anything to make your life better. Weight loss was addictive for me- and the more I lost- the lower my goal weight got. Luckily I escaped the cycle. And now- 10 lbs heavier than my lowest weight, I have some muscle and am a thousand times happier with my appearance than I used to be.

I hope something there reached you and will help you!!

I'm going to disagree with John and say you do need to be here. There are specific threads that can help you with your struggles. People who have been there and recovered and understand where you are coming from.

While your struggles may differ from the norm here, there are still places and people who can help you!

My point is that the OP sounds like they need professional help. Some problems are solved on the internet. In my opinion this isn't one of them.

I agree that you should talk to a professional about your problem, but encourage you to stick around 3fc if you think it helps you with healthy lifestyle advice.

I have never suffered from a eating disorder and in no way claim to be an expert. I have heard other w/ eating disorders that also "ruined" their metabolisms by eating very low calories. From what I remember, they had to start increasing their calories significantly for an extended time period, before it got back to "normal." This did cause them to gain weight initially, but their weight normalized after time.

Again, I really don't know and don't want to claim to be an expert, but that's what Ive heard as far as "fixing" your metabolism. You should do more research, maybe find others that have recovered from eating disorders, and also talk to a doctor/specialist who has more knowledge on the subject.

Good luck! <3

Thanks for all your advice.

JohnP and Missy Krissy, I realise that I should probably talk to someone professional but I am not ready to do that yet and I thought I could try and help myself before taking that step. Sorry if I didn't make it clear in my question, but I am trying to up my calorie intake so I am not comsuming only 500 calories a day as I realise this is unhealthy. I found this website and quickly realised that the people on here are very caring, and thought it would be a good place to get support when I need it, which it is.

danzingurl77, thank you so much for the advice, I really need things like that at the moment to remind me of what's important I will also do some more research on what is a healthy goal for me, as my view is pretty skewed at the moment.

shcirerf, thank you for understanding, I will take a look round those threads

ASaladandaDream, thanks for the metabolism info, I will do some more research

If you are here and trying to get healthy, then welcome You should be speaking with a therapist/registered dietician who specializes in eating disorders. Have you ruined your metabolism? No (ruin implies permanent damage) but there has almost certainly been some metabolic damage (although water weight retention is the most likely culprit of raising calories beyond 500 - your body's system is really out of whack from long term deprivation).

Can you do both? Stay here, get the support, but speak with the professionals too?

Here is another good site to read, if you are not ready to reach out yet.
http://www.something-fishy.org/

I also dont agree with john. Im not sure where all his anger is coming from.

I think you should stay and work on it as well as seek some therapy.

Direct language is not anger. The first post from the OP is quite different from her second.

The first post says they are rarely eating over 500 calories a day and the implication is this has been going on for some time. If you think this kind of eating does not warrant professional help I don't know what kind of eating pattern would.

To answer your question feebz if you didn't starve yourself through puberty it is extremely unlikely any metabolic slowdown is permanent.

If you have insurance a physical exam is free. You should get or and have a professional evaluation of your health.

I would agree with John that professional help would is probably a good idea, and I'm sure he wasn't trying to be mean in any way.

If you're not ready to talk to anyone yet though, I think this is a good place to start. People here in general do care, and it may help you initially to sort out your feelings about things.

I do hope though that as you get more comfortable talking with people you seek out maybe some family and talk to your doctor about how you feel about food. While your weight is pretty normal now, I'd hate to see anything extreme happen.

As you start to eat more, you will probably gain some water weight, which is not fat. Just try to prepare yourself for when you get on the scale so that you don't overreact to water gain and start eating hardly anything again.

I'm glad you've started to talk to someone, even if it's just us to start.