Hi All,

I'm a newbie here because I'm having some troubles and I need some help and advice! I currently weigh 225 lbs. and I ultimately want to get down to 160 or 150. About 5 years ago I was 250 lbs. and I lost 65 lbs. over the course of about 1-2 years. I did it by limiting my calories and walking/jogging a few times a week. In the past year and a half I've put back on 30 of those pounds and I can't seem to stop it or get it to go in the other direction again! At first I thought "Well I did it before so I can just do the same thing as last time and I can do it again." But I haven't been able to do that. I've tried and tried and I "fall off the wagon" within a week. What the **** is wrong with me?! There's no question whether or not I want this, I want it SO BAD! So why can't I translate that into motivation and results? I really don't know what to do. I'm freaking out here a little bit because none of my clothes fit and I just keep getting bigger and bigger.

I know that everyone has to figure out what works for them personally as far as weight loss and motivation but what worked for YOU?

Help!

Welcome, PaxSD! I know it can be hard to find the motivation and will power, and there's no one answer. I can tell you that for me, what finally made me start and stick to my current plan was hitting my rock bottom. You may want it really bad, but you may not feel like you've hit rock bottom yet. I let my weight seesaw back and forth for years before it went on a steady climb the past couple years. I wanted to lose weight, I tried, but I kept giving up. I know now that's because even though I kept telling myself I really wanted it, I obviously didn't want it bad enough. I didn't want it bad enough to get off the couch and I didn't want it bad enough to give up eating my nightly dose of cake. It wasn't until I found myself spending yet another lonely day on my couch on a Saturday afternoon and thinking about all my recent health problems---my constant acid reflux, my cholesterol skyrocketing, my sleep apnea, my acne---that I stood up, changed clothes, and hopped on my treadmill. I know now I want to be thinner more than I want icecream. I want to be healthier more than I want McDonalds. I want to be fitter more than I want to sleep on the couch. It's still a struggle. I still have to remind myself on a literal daily basis that I want this, that I deserve this. I've slipped up a few times these past few weeks; I've indulged on a dessert or drive-thru a couple of times, but the difference between now and then is that now, even if I do stumble, I pick myself right back up and start anew the next day. Before, if I pigged out for even just one meal, I'd toss everything out the window and start binging for months. Now I don't. I just restart. You need to find your line in the sand. You need to figure out what exactly you want more. Do you want to lose 5lbs. or do you want to slug on the couch? Do you want to go down a dress size or do you want extra dessert?

This place has been instrumental in helping me to stay focused. The people here have been so helpful, motivating, and inspiring, and they know when to be sensitive and when to kick your butt in gear I'd recommend getting as active as you can in these threads, check out the goal and mini-goal section, join some challenges, make some goals for yourself, write out exactly how and when you expect to achieve them, and just get started!! You can do this! It's a long one-day-at-a-time journey, but one that you're well worth!!!

Thank you for the reply, Lakilaulea. One of the things that you said scares me a little bit, what if I haven't hit rock bottom yet? What is rock bottom going to be for me? More weight put on? Depression? Agh!

I like how you boiled it down to one question, "what do you want more?"

You've given me some things to think about and I appreciate it, thank you! I'm going to check out some of the challenges you mentioned and get myself involved, seems like a good first step!

No problem! You don't have to go all-in right off the bat. If you think the changes are gonna be too drastic, take baby steps. Another difference between my plan now and all my failed plans then, is that this time I didn't do the hardcore headfirst thing. I took it one step at a time. I gave up all soda first. The next week it was cake (I am a HUGE sucker for cake). Then it was fastfood. I added fresh fruit to my daily meal plan, then the next week added vegetables. I did it one step at a time and now it's almost second nature for me to pick up a piece of fruit and eat it for breakfast whereas before I couldn't eat fruit even if it was in a pie.

For exercise, when I first started, I'd commit myself to 10 minutes. That's it. I told myself if I stayed on my treadmill for 10 minutes, I would've succeeded my goal for the day. The thing is, once you change clothes and start, you're more likely to go longer than just 10 minutes. I mean, you're already on there, might as well, right? But to mentally trick myself to even getting on, I'd promise myself I'd do just 10 minutes. (I have to mentally trick myself all the time.) Now I promise myself 35 minutes. If I can do 35 minutes, I win. And of course, once I go through all the trouble of getting on and sweating, I'll stay on longer.

I celebrate every 5lbs. lost. I don't focus on the fact that I need to lose 60, or I'd feel defeated already. 60 is a large number. It depresses me. 5 sounds so much easier. So I commit to losing 5lbs. When I do, I celebrate, pat myself on the back, and commit to another 5.

Baby steps.

I think you're off to a good start; you know what needs to be done. You're reaching out for help. That's the hardest part. Now all you have to do is follow through. Commit to working out for 10 minutes today and set a goal of 5lbs. You'll be amazed how fast you meet that goal

I weigh myself everyday, either I am motivated by the weight I have lost even if it's just an ounce or I am motivated furthermore if I have not lost any. I have one of those scales that can track your weight loss for you. Some prefer not to weigh everyday but it works for me. I keep a skinny old pic of myself on the fridge as a reminder of where I wanna be. Maybe a pic of yourself now will help. I also think about the fact that I recently found out that my estranged fathers family are all pretty much diabetics. My dr had told me I was not yet, but on the path to it. I have my exercise bike in front of the tv, I will watch things that will distract me while I ride. I like to challenge myself. I will ride forward until the first commercial then backwards until the next. When I had a gym membership I would tell myself I won't get off this treadmill until after the person next to me does. If they did then I would compete against the next person. If u can help it don't keep unhealthy things in the house. My father in law lives with us and he buys lots of junk that I have to fight to resist eating it. Look up creative ways to cook like substitute quinoa for rice. It can be quite good. Drink vanilla flavored almond milk instead of milk. It has more calcium, and honestly tastes like a treat. I load my plate with veggies over other items and use a smaller plate. Drink plenty of water! I have a cheat day on Saturdays
If you have kids think of all the activities u will be able to enjoy with them at a healthy weight. I have avoided the beach for years. Realize that the weight is going to take time to come off. Don't forget to get a good nights rest too, u lose calories when u do. Don't get frustrated and stop, you have to make a lifetime change, and keep looking for support from others.
Good luck! I look forward to hearing some success stories from u!

You have already got some good advice and I am a beginner so I'll just say welcome! But I will second what Lakilaulea said about setting small goals. Mine are not all 5 lbs but have personal significance. My first was 12 lbs, which I can't say why but I just liked the number. Then 4 more lbs to get out of the "obese" BMIs. Then 6 lbs to the halfway point. But to be honest every half pound lost seems like a victory for me. I get all excited and post on the forum. People here are incredibly supportive and will celebrate with you, even if it is just half a pound.

As for staying on plan (ok guess I'm saying more than just "welcome" lol) what has been key for me so far is finding healthy foods I actually like which aren't a pain to prepare and not eating out much. I used to eat out ALL THE TIME.

What I meant to say was...WELCOME.

Welcome and good luck on your journey!

Hello and I don't personally think you have to "hit rock bottom" but I do think you have to make a *decision* that you want this badly enough to follow through and make it happen.... you can't wait for some "feeling" to inspire you or some "mystical" motivation. Feelings are fickle and change all the time.

This forum is very helpful to me... lots of support and encouragement here. I do far better when I check in here every day and meet with others who are on the same journey.

You can do it too!

Welcome! Others have already given you great advice, there are a lot of us here that have put back on some or all of the weight we had previously lost and are working towards getting back and below where we were. You do not need to be so hard on yourself, you are human and you will make mistakes. What's important is that you are here now and ready to stop the vicious cycle. Get involved in challenges and groups on the boards and have fun!