So last night I attended a fundraiser dance that I always go to year after year. Usually I have a big plate of food, lots of drinks, and dessert. This year I had a small plate of off program food. Caesar salad, turkey (white meat) and a little bit of cranberrys, three perogies, and some wheat salad (made with cool whip and pineapple). Now I know this is cheating but I am so proud of myself for having just that small plate and not losing control. I promised myself something and I stuck with it. Now I'm making myself a promise to stay on program till Christmas day and then indulge in a plate of Christmas supper. I'm sure I can do it now. Does anyone else indulge once in a every two to three months?

While you did better than in past years Engrid, you have probably set yourself back at least 2 - 3 days, and may have pushed yourself out of ketosis. Remember how hard that first week was? Do you really want to go through that again? And yet again after Christmas? IMO it is best to stay 100%. All that food will be there in future years for you to enjoy. I probably would have had my dinner before going to the event, and taken my own snack(s) to munch on throughout the evening (restricted bar, raw veggies, Raspberry jelly/Crystal light made into a drink), or just had the turkey and whatever raw veggies that may have been there.

I know this may sound harsh, but losing weight and then maintaining is a complete lifestyle change. It's hard to do. But the reward is so worth it. Engrid - YOU are worth it! I wish you the best...

Oh, there are a couple of different threads you might like to read concerning 'Cheats' or phasing off for vacations, etc. You might have to go back a couple of pages to find them, but very good info.

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".

Personally? No cheats for me - I have been through several parties and big events without once going off plan. Going off plan means extending my time ON the diet, the more I stick to my guns now the sooner I will be in maintenance. Indulging means the possibility of having to go through the awful feelings of week 1 all over again, which are not worth whatever food I might have had. All of the food, drink and indulging will still be there when I'm in maintenance.

Above all of it, indulging before I hit goal (for me) means that I am not the one in control. This diet is a mental exercise as much as it is a physical one. Every time I get through an event, a tough craving, or a moment of weakness without cheating, I win a personal battle - and I am reminded that the food is not really all that important. It means that when I hit goal I will be stronger and better equipped to make the best decisions possible for the long run.

Is it easy? Of course not. I am about to go through Thanksgiving, my 20th High School reunion, and Christmas and I would love to be able to eat small bits of the stuff I really like. It's work to plan ahead and make sure I either eat ahead of time or bring stuff that I can have. The first few events it was strange having to explain or brush off questions about why I wasn't eating or drinking. But now I laugh it right off, I'm on a diet that's temporary, and learning food control that is permanent. Worth every struggle.

I have a question for you...

Why did you choose IP?
IP is a no-cheat protocol.

There is nothing to be celebrated from cheating.
The celebrations come from facing adversity (favorite foods) and making choices to do something DIFFERENTLY...choosing a lifestyle change.

There will always be excuses to cheat (whether big or small)
A holiday, a vacation, a good day, a bad day, a special occasion, a not-so-special occasion, a night of fun with friends, visiting relatives, travel, you name it. We have used them. That is how we got extremely obese and have endangered our health.

It is time to stop.

It is time to choose something different.
That is what IP is about. Learning something different.
It starts with Phase 1 and sticking to it. No matter what.

No matter if you are at your favorite restaurant (I was last nite) or your favorite annual function, or on your vacation or at a wedding or a funeral or a birthday party or a Christmas party or Thanksgiving or a BBQ or ...it goes on...ad naseum...and we have eaten ourselves to nauseated in our previous life.

We are now saving our life and changing our life.
Forever.

I encourage you to decide what you want. IP is not for cheating. If you want IP, go 100% IP and don't look back. Last night could have been planned for a no-cheat nite (mine was) and 100% success would have felt a million times better this morning. Besides, there would have been progress instead of a set-back.

Here is what is coming up in my life:

• My parents just left from a 2-day visit while driving cross-country. I stayed 100% OP.
• We have friends coming in to town tonite and staying thru Thanksgiving. My 100% OP plans are already made.
• Thanksgiving day we are joining friends. I am taking my own personal side dishes and a green bean with bacon dish for everyone else. Also a big veggie tray because they will have appetizers. I can have my veggies.
• We have a 2-week vacation planned in Florida starting Christmas Day. I'm taking my IP. I've read the travel thread and I will take a soft-side cooler and plan for my needs.
• My 50th birthday is in March. I won't be at goal. We're going somewhere tropical and probably to an all-inclusive. It does NOT matter that drinks are included. I don't have to have them. I will be getting SCUBA certified. The focus will not be on the food but on the weather, the people, and my new hobby

My goals are more important than special foods or special drinks or one special night or ANYTHING else. I am more important than the food.

Every time you allow little cheats in you are telling yourself that the food is more important than your goal to be healthy and thinner.

You need to commit to the plan in order to reach your goal. Otherwise you are wasting time and money. Perhaps this plan is probably not the best plan for you.

I understand not using every excuse or special occasion to cheat on IP. I recently had my birthday and stayed OP the entire time - no cake for me, even when it was being pushed at me (its your bithday you have to have cake!) I think when I am having difficulties and major cravings having something like a small Christmas dinner to look forward to and work towards is worth the setback. Who knows by then I might not even want it.....

I love this quote.

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most, for what we want in the moment!

Here's a question though - how did you get where you were, the point where you NEEDED IP? Was it from being able to say no, or from a little here, a little there, snowballing into major weight gain? Ultimately you are the only one who can decide what to do, and good or bad will be the only one to deal with the results of those choices. But don't kid yourself into thinking you might not want that indulgence you're planning by the time it comes around - you have already made the food the focus, you are "looking forward" to the food. That means the food is in control, not you.

Another thing to think about is that one of this diet's primary goals is to give your pancreas a "break". I'm wondering if cheating will mean having a harder time getting through the other phases and into maintenance. We're supposed to "retrain" the pancreas and our bodies to deal with insulin spikes (phase 3). If we're cheating, we may be sabotaging ourselves for this process.

As someone mentioned above, there are some good discussions on cheating. I know for myself, I don't want to cheat and risk losing all I've worked so hard for. I want to follow this diet through to the end. I want to give myself time to reflect on my issues with food and learn alternative ways to deal with them. By staying OP, I am relieving myself of making choices about food. I am learning to eat to live, not live to eat.

Wishing you the very best! And remember, only you can decide if cheating is worth it.

Actually it wasnt a little here or there i was a major binge eater. It's all well and good to say that I can't let the food control me however at this point in my journey it still does. It is starting to get less and less but there are times I am craving so bad thinking like this is the only way to not go completely out of control. Hopefully the longer I am on IP the less control the actual food will have on me.

Somedays I bet you feel stronger and more committed than others. I think we all do. I have two relatives who started IP at the same time I did. They are never 100% and their losses have reflected this but they seem happy with their losses. You have to do what is right for you without the approval of everyone else. The choices you made were better than you had made in previous years so that is a victory!

If you want inspiration to be more committed then read the 100%. Being 100% is doable. I do it all the time and I have noticed that my relatives slightly change their order to be more OP after I order.

If you want to be 100% than figure out what your ultimate goal is and reminders on how to get there. To me, having one meal off program might mean and extra week to getting to maintenance. I don't consider it worth it to put off maintenance. And I'm cheap, if I think that three perogies would cost me $100 then they better be darn good perogies.

You can do this!

While I would agree that being 100% OP is the goal, I congratulate you on not losing control. I struggle with the "black/white" thinking that if I cheat I must just give up because I'll never be able to be perfect. In the past, this has led me to regaining any weight I have lost. Now, I would consider it a victory if I am able to pick myself up, forgive myself for a slip and get right back on track. By not letting a slip up derail you, and forgiving yourself, I think in the end you will be more successful!

I agree 100 percent. Giving someone the guilt trip never aids in success. To me sometimes it seems that people become judgmental and say "we'll I went through this and did it that way and you should too!" We are all different. I was working with a coach at first and I asked her about cheating. She said if you are in a bind just take the hit and get right back on track. Anytime any behavior is changed in the weight loss process we should reward ourselves and not beat ourselves down. If last year she would've eaten way more but this year she didn't, congrats. Pick yourself up and get back on plan. Celebrate your success. More important, celebrate you. You may or may not stall. Everyone is different but that didn't seem to be your concern. As long as you get back on track that's all that matters. You have to make this plan livable for you.

Agree. After all, we have to think about maintenance ahead of time. I consider all exercises of self control successes, especially having had a MAJOR binge problem. Being able to dust myself off and move on from a minor slipup is just as much an accomplishment to me as staying 100' percent on plan.

So yes, feel proud of yourself! It is certainly better than beating yrsrlf up about something that's done and you've moved on frn.

You've already received a lot on honesty here, and I hope it doesn't turn you off - your thread title did ask "but should I be?" From your tracker, it seems you are still fairly new to the program. I am no expert at all, but I can tell you that I have struggled with my weight and my relationship with food my whole life - I went on my first diet at 8 and have never been successful in losing weight until now. I'm in my 2nd week of maintenance - and this program changed my life. There were hard choices along the way - and only you can make them - I stayed OP through religious holidays where I did not follow the religious protocol (fasting on Yom Kippur, keeping kosher on Passover) - but rather chose that my health was more important and staying OP was leading to a healthier me - yes there are cravings, but discovering ways to say OP to handle them is part of the journey - I have now had 2 "cheat" days in phase 4 - they are mandatory - and I have used them to the FULLEST to say the least - eating a bit out of control on both days - but the thing that I have learned about myself through this is that the next day I'm back on my Phase 1 day and back on track - learning how to make those hard decisions with food and KNOW you are the one in control is what this program is about for me. I never cheated throughout the entire process and it gave me a sense of power that I have never had before. I really encourage you to embrace that aspect of the program - it is NOT easy and again - it is your choice, but I believe it is worth it. People here are supportive, and some people think we are being judgmental when we encourage people to stay OP 100%, but I don't think it's about being judgmental - it's about being passionate to the IP ideals - which from day one says no cheating in big capital letters. I hope I haven't offended you, I just couldn't imagine my life without the learning I have done in the last year and I know without a doubt, if I had let myself cheat once, it would have been twice, and then there would have always been a reason - my patterns wouldn't have changed and I'd still be in the body I was a year ago. Good luck to you.