as some of you know i have lost 100lb in 14months. i hope to lose another 30 - 35. in this time i have tried pills powders and diets along with my punishing if not at times boot camp style training regieme. as the pounds melted away and the cloths got bigger my self esteem instead of increasing got lower. i tired to put on a brave face and at times seem totally cool and laid back but inside i'm about to implode.

as i become more and more exhausted and drained i'm getting more depressed also with all the **** in my life with my ex telling me i'm fat ulgy and no one would ever want me life is getting bad also found out today a mate of mine has a brain tumour. training is causing me no end of problems healthwise cos i'm over doing it. but at the same time i have nothing else in my life to live for so if i stop i'll have nothing to keep me going the only good thing i have is my goal of my target weight but i fear i might do myself untold damage in trying to achieve this

SI!!!! STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP, both physically and emotionally. that little tramp has a whole lot of nerve criticizing you!!! don't listen to her. don't see her. don't talk to her.

as i said elsewhere on 3fc, i thiink there might be some physical something going on with you. please go see a doc.

and, unfortunately for us, when we stop using food to soothe our emotions, we start actually FEELING them, and that can be really hard. painful. and substituting another addiction [exercise maybe????] is not the answer.

counseling is an option. so is a group like overeaters anonymous. toughing it out alone is NOT the way to go.

so, please PLEASE make an effort to come to the 3fc more often. rant, rave. write in journal. whatever it takes to release this anger/self destruction/ self hatred that's going on.

from what i've seen of you around here, you are an absolute gentleman, with a wonderful sense of humor and great kindness.

and you do indeed have something to live for!!! after all, you're coming to the states next year to see all of us lovely ladies!!!!!! and some of us are single and in your age group, and others have children and friends around your age.

and some of us are just dirty old ladies!!!

Si,

Jiffy said it just perfectly!! We can't even begin to imagine all the ways that stress effects us and our bodies. You're dealing with a lot right now, so go and see the dr. and make sure that everything is okay. Even if nothing is wrong, it will take a big load off of your mind just to hear the dr. say that.

You've accomplished so very much and you're doing so great! Don't beat yourself up and don't listen to your idiot ex. We all need you and appreciate you.

Well, first of all ***BIG HUGS***

I can hear the sadness in your note. I'm sorry about your ex-wife, but it sounds like there is a good reason she's your ex!!! Don't listen to her for one minute!!!!! People who run other people down, don't have anything going on in their own lives!!

Si - Have you thought of amybe going to see someone? Depression can be a nasty thing to have to fight with all on your own.

Please come here and post often. Sometimes it helps just to know you have a cheering section.

umm counseling don't that cost money? i'm on 1500 calories a day at the moment cos i'm broke for the next few months. and jacobs mommy. she was only me gf *living in sin* not married i might be crazy but not stupid lol

Well, I'm glad to see you smile!! Also glad to see she never got your last name! She doesn't deserve it!!!

Yes, counseling can cost money, but I bet there are many places you can go for free...are you a religious man??

nope not religious at all spiritual i meditate a alot to help clear my mind and sooth calm the inner self. but i practice at home. i also do yoga and che gong *tai chi*

Some counseling is offered on a sliding scale, so don't rule it out just because you can't afford it.

Sounds like you're going through a rough time. The first thing I would do is realize that now it the time to involve your whole life into your lifestyle change. Start eating for a healthy lifestyle, not just to lose weight. Experiment with what makes you feel good. What lifts your mood? It sounds like you've made a firm step in the right direction with yoga and meditation but that goes totally against the way you've been treating your body. And I think your emotional health is suffering because of it. So, take some time and reevaluate how your eating and start eating to nourish the being within and not torture him!

As far as exes go, I'm all for being bitter and spiteful. I still check up on my ex through his friends (very discreetly) and revel in every stupid thing he does. So, remember, the best revenge isn't living well... it's living well and flaunting it in front of your ex.

If you ever need support, we're all here for you!

Good Morning si - was just thinking about you and wondering if you felt better today?

Si,

Many pastors will counsel for free whether you are religious or not. And many do not attempt to "convert" you. You might consider calling around a bit. Also, there are some good groups that can hlp -- I think Overeaters Anonymous was already mentioned.

This is a tough journey you are on. Don't go it alone.

Peace,
Paula

well cheers for all the words i'll have a look and see how things go. i think its about time i showed my face so i'm gonna be uploading some photo's including look wot a difference a 100lb makes. i'm much better today thanks for asking think the lack of sleep and food got to me.

So glad to hear it - you had me worried!!!

This is my advice. For your weight and being male you are essentially starving yourself so it is no wonder you don't have any energy and are not losing weight. Your body thinks it is in the middle of very hard times and it is conserving every calorie it can, you are essentially making your body gear up to do everything possible not to shed an ounce. Continued weight loss comes from a good diet with adequate calories moderate in everthing and lowish in fat and sugar...some cardiovascular exercise and some type of weight training. Drinking lots of water, eating slow, mindful eating. My mantra again and again, but guess what? It is really the only path that works as is proved again and again and again and again by sucess stories all over the world. That being said you have had tremendous success that you should be very proud of but 1,500 calories IS NOT going to help you lose any weight and you will feel miserable as well.

It is a very important caveat for dieters out there in general be very aware of the dangers of too few calories. I know it sounds like a paradox but they can work against weight loss AND make you feel horrible and have no energy just as too many calories can. So get some food man! That is the first thing. Good, nutritious food. And keep eating so your body knows it doesn't have to conserve every calorie get your energy back and start working out. Do these things and you will continue your weight loss and have energy to do the exercise that will be one of the foundations for lasting success.