So I joined this site sometime back thinking it would encourage me
to finally take the first step towards losing weight but I never even made a first post... today I decided to change that.

Probably I'm crazy for starting a diet when I just broke up with my boyfriend and am having to move from Miami back to Iowa and try to sort out my life but I can't allow myself to procrastinate any longer.
At over 190lbs I have finally reached my limit of what I can stand to look at in the mirror. Everything has become harder since putting on this weight.

I used to be a skinny little girl. People told me I would probably always be because I never had any desire to eat... that changed drastically.
Around age 11 all of the sweets finally caught up to me along with puberty and a new found passion for cooking... I watched year after year as I gained more and more... at one point (14?) I evened out because I grew like a weed, but then that only made me think I didn't have to change my habits.

At 17 I remember crying myself to sleep because I hit 150 and my mothers continued jabs at my appearance different help. I'd do anything to go back to 150 again.

Today (at age 20) I looked in the mirror and cried. Stretch marks, fat rolls, cellulite... I have abandoned my body.

I hope I can turn this around. Coping with the end of a relationship and the unpleasant outlook of my future is plenty to deal with, I don't need an unattractive body to go along with that.

Sorry for this long post. Partly I needed to write this for myself.
Wish me luck?

I've been where you are Cobra, and even worse with my weight. It took me forever to finally decide to do it.

You've taken the first step, now you JUST HAVE TO DO IT!!! And you can.

Check out my story on my website in my signature. Hopefully it will give you the boost you need!!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

I was almost in the same situation when I started in June. It's not impossible to make this work.

Hope everything gets better for you!

It may be a crazy time to start a "diet," but it's the perfect time to pamper and take care of yourself by eating the best tasting, healthiest food you can afford and find, getting in some fun activity (for exercise and stress relief), and make sure you're getting the emotional support and rest you need.

If you're going to "beat yourself up" for every less-than-perfectly-on-plan bite, for losing slower than you hope to, for seeing stalls on the scale, for exercising less often or less intensely than you feel you should be, worrying that you should be doing more, or for not being perfect in any way... Then you probably don't want to start that now. You don't deserve or need the aggravation and stress.

However, if you're ready to pamper your wonderful self by choosing and eating the healthiest, highest quality food you can afford, and by choosing fun ways to use your body (exercising to challenge and reward yourself - not as punishment for overeating or for being overwieght), and by giving your body the rest it needs... then there is no better time to start than right this very minute.

Remember that stress can slow metabolism, and can drastically increase appetite, so don't be too hard on yourself if the scale numbers aren't what you want to see.


I'd highly recommend TOPS (take off pounds sensibly). The group support and weight loss challenges and contests can be incredibly motivating, and best of all you can follow any food plan YOU choose. It also allows you to see what average weight loss really looks like (When the weight recorder announces the net loss or gain, divide that by the number of members and you'll see that it is NOT anything close to 2 lbs per week - so don't beat yourself up if YOU don't accomplish 2 lbs per week, every week.

Remember that even maintaining, the act of "not gaining" is actually a tremendous acheivement in-and-of itself, especially once you've lost so much as one pound to maintain. If you've lost one pound, even if you never lose another, you are always entitled to celebrate the awesomeness that is maintaining a weight loss.

This is important, because if you do not see maintenance (even from the beginning, even of only 1 pound) as EQUALLY IF NOT FAR MORE IMPORTANT than weight loss, when the weight loss slows it can be very tempting to give up (and Giving up at weight loss, inevitably means regaining the weight you've lost so far).

I've failed at every weight loss attempt I ever tried, before this one. And it's no coincidence that THIS TIME is the only time that I chose to value "not gaining" above even weight loss. Anyone can lose a few pounds, keeping them off is the hard part (and it's only hard, because we tend to go on a diet rollercoaster only worrying about weight loss, not weight maintenance).

When only losing matters, and all non-losses are seen as failure, then during a zero loss, the "not-gaining" doesn't feel like a success, it feels like the failure of "not losing." And if both losing and not-gaining are seen as equivalent failures, then hey, if you're going to fail anyway you should at least choose the option that lets you eat whatever you want. Or you might as well have a consolation-prize binge and "start fresh" tomorrow or Monday...

However, when "not gaining" is MORE important to you than losing, then you not only get to celebrate more often, you also are less likely to make any or all of the little and BIG mistakes that create obstacles to weight loss.

So go and take care of your wonderful self, and pamper yourself with healthy lifestyle choices. It's a whole lot more fun this way. It's not always fast or easy, but it's never the agonizing chore it is when you're not doing this to pamper yourself.

There is a lot of great advice on this forum - and many, many wonderful people. We're here for you, and for each other.

You've taken the first, and hardest, step already. Good luck!!!

Well said.

I'm sorry for the breakup, but I'm even more remorseful for your mother taking jabs at your appearance. How sad. ((hugs)) Have you considered therapy? It's one of the things that best helped for me to start on my weight loss journey.

I believe one of the most difficult parts of this process is finding something that will work for you long term, and part of something working is you enjoying it. Don't get discouraged if the first few things just don't tickle your fancy. Keep experimenting. Good luck in this journey.

I'm so sorry about your breakup and mom being mean. I was in a similar place almost a year ago. My then-boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly with size 0-2 girls when I broke my ankle. At the same time my father was always telling me to lose weight and get healthy.

You need to take time to heal your heart so don't push yourself too much with overly critical thoughts. Its all about going at a pace you're comfortable with and learning to love yourself while getting healthy (I'm still working at it). We're here to support you and cheer you on! One step at a time and we'll make it

I love kapolds post.

You can do this. I had several tradegies and stuff when I was around your age. I decided to make some life changes and people thought I was attempting too much, too soon, and whatever. It's been 22 years since then and I met and exceeded EVERY thing I set out to do then. It wasn't about weight loss then, but all the negatives spurred me on. And they can for you too. You can make this one of your turning points and come out on top. I know it!

Hey girly
I'm in a similar situation. My boyfriend of five years and I broke up in May. And after a week of not eating anything...to days of comfort eating.. I realized this moment, when I'm at a point where I am FORCED to make a change, was a good chance to make that one lifestyle change I've been needing to make all my life.
So now, you have a lot of free time. Use it to go out and jog or go to the gym. You're no longer 'required' to cook for/ eat with a boyfriend... substitute those yummy fatty foods ya'll ate with together with healthier alternatives that maybe he didn't want.
And...after things have healed a little... soak up the attention you'll get from other people. These little confidence boosters can really help remind you that you are a beautiful person, an regardless of what your mom or other nay-sayers might say, you can do whatever the heck you want to...cuz you rock. (:

We can lose it together and both get over our loser exes together! How does hat sound?