Binge/Purging?

I think I might be developing a problem with this. Though I'm not sure it's a *real* problem. I don't binge per-say. I basically purge when I feel guilty about something I ate. If I ate something off plan, I purge. (ie. stick my fingers down my throat etc etc.)
I don't purge very often, (maybe three or four times a week at the most. one at the least. sometimes none) or binge. Is this a problem I should really be worried about. I mean, I read stuff about bulimia, and it seems poeple suffering with that disease purge all the time.

I guess I'm really wondering if there are other people like me and if this really is some sort of ED.

I am by no means a qualified expert, but yes, that does sound like bulimia. Clinical Bulimia is defined as "An eating disorder, common especially among young women of normal or nearly normal weight, that is characterized by episodic binge eating and followed by feelings of guilt, depression, and self-condemnation. It is often associated with measures taken to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, the use of laxatives, dieting, or fasting. Also called bulimarexia, bulimia nervosa."

The fact that you specifically said that you purge due to feelings of guilt is what would lead me to characterize this as an ED.

How long have you been doing this? Have you spoken to anyone about it? How does your diet look day to day? Are you trying to lose weight? Are there certain foods you feel guilty about eating that cause you to do this?

I've been doing this off and on for a few years. Since college probably. It always gets more frequent when I'm trying to watch my diet. Right now I'm trying desperately to lose weight before I go to grad school. (I don't even know why I have this set date in my mind, I suppose, I don't want to be the fat girl in my class.)

I've never said anything to anyone. I'm not sure I could. I feel comfotable here cause it's anonymous, but, I don't think I could tell people in real life about this. It's stupid, but I think I'm too fat to have an ED. :-/ If I eat something I know is on the 'wrong' list (I don't even have a wrong list, but just wrong in the general sense) I purge. I purged a sandwich once because I thought I had enough carbs for the day. Sometimes I allow myself to eat something only on the condition that I purge after. I suppose, now that I'm looking at it closely, it does seem like disordered behaviour...
My diet now is a bit helter skelter. I depend on my parents for groceries right now, and we mainly eat very well, I prefer a high protein low carb diet, but sometimes (too often) I slip up. :-/
Thanks for commenting though.

I stopped bingeing when I left the high protein diet and adopted a low cal diet. I did go low carb at the beginning to fight the cravings, but then I moved to low cal for the first time since my teens --I am in my forties-- and that worked! Knowing that you can eat --complex-- carbs and still be "a good girl" and lose weight has worked in favour of weight loss and of self-control.
If you go on purging you will damage you teeth... And there is no point in being a little thinner if the price is your teeth, don't you think? You are an intelligent woman, so act intelligently: eat like and intelligent woman, and treat your ED intelligently. You can do this, so start right now and leave the past behind!

Hi Meltaway
If your best friend told you they were doing this what would you think? I reckon you would be concerned and advise them to talk to a professional about it. At the end of the day if such an approach was in any way helpful over the years you have been doing it, would you not be at your ideal weight by now! Certainly in my case I never lost any weight but hated the way it controlled my life. You really need to break this cycle and ask for qualified help.

I agree with Ingles, if you deprive your body of complex carbs then it will crave them - and the binge purge cycle is the crazy way which you have found to deal with it - I can relate very strongly from experience - you are most certainly not alone , some folks can do well on this type of diet but not me- because the cravings overwhelm me- i find low cal and exercise the most effective way for me to lose weight

You are not too fat for an ED!!! They happen to people at all weights - what does that say about people with binge eating disorder or compulsive overeating?

I also want to clear up that no person with a healthy relationship with food would EVER even CONSIDER purging after eating. Please seek help before 3-4x/week becomes 10+ times/day.

A slippery slope. I agree that seeking help/someone to talk to is best.

Good luck!

Maybe when I get to grad school, I'll talk to one of the councellors on campus. I think I might be in a bit of denial. Mainly because I don't purge that often and I'm not thin. I know it's a budding problem and I need to work on it, but my brain keeps coming up with a lot of reasons why it's not a big deal.
I don't think I'll ever purge as much as ten times a day. But I know I have a lot of issues to deal with. It's just hard to stop when you see the scale responding positively to purging. I just need more control over what I put in my mouth so that I don't have to purge aftwerward. I'm probably not making much sense, but that's because I'm confused about this because I've never thought about it as such a problem as you guys are.. I just thought it's just a bad thing that I do from time to time.

Meltaway,

I am speaking from experience, as someone who had an eating disorder for years....

This is a VERY SERIOUS issue. It is EXTREMELY damaging both physically and emotionally. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it's not a big deal. You are in denial. Please seek help for this --- There are many ways you can start reaching out for help (such as attending OA meetings)

ANY person of ANY size can have an eating disorder. Our bodies were not meant to voluntarily throw up food after we've eaten it.

Please seek help.

From the sounds of it, my sister is very much the same as you. Although, she wouldn't see it as a problem, she binges and purges on average 4-6 times a week, it is a problem. And physically her body has started reacting to it... and not in the way she would hope - which I'm sure is only encouraging her to do it more. But what has started to happen is her hair has become quite brittle and dry and her breath smells, she has very odd sleeping patterns (which could be due to a lack of energy?) and her body retains a lot of water. Being her sister, I notice these things happening more so than someone that only sees her once a week or even from her perspective, because she sees everything happening and doesn't see those kinds of changes... Anyways, my point is, although you feel that you're "gaining" (by losing weight) something with purging, you're likely "losing" (your health) much more. As most have said, you do need to seek some sort of professional help. I would also recommened keeping a food journal and with that, make a note of some of the things that are making you feel the need to purge and write down why you feel this way, what was wrong with what you ate? Nutritional value, amount, etc.? But do be careful, don't be critical of yourself, but help yourself by creating an understanding of why you purged. Good luck!

I can only emphasize what krampus said! You are not too fat for an ED. It sounds like you have one. And you do purge often! 3-4 times a week is very much... it can do so much damage to you. By the way, "purging at least 2 times a week over a period of at least 3 months" is one of the definitions of bulimia.
Please go get help! It's not only your teeth but a lot of other organs that get damaged, too. Bulimia can mess with your potassium levels which leads to heart problems.
I hope you can gather the courage to go and speak to a professional. Good luck

Talk to someone We are all here but you need that extra support in "real life".