Finally harvested bounty from our garden. First load was a bag of sweet Sugar Snaps - love those little guys. I count them as zero calories (by my personal counting style) so I eat them straight from the vine with impunity.

Yesterday's adventure was to a Great Blue Heron rookery. The youngsters appeared to be big enough to fly, but were content to stand in the nests yelling for mom and dad to bring in the fish. Life is easy on top of tall trees made quite dead due to the flooding from a dam built by beavers.

Sounds like you had a great weekend Bill. I envy you the fresh produce. I hope to have some sort of small vegetable plot when I retire. And the herons sound magnificent!

Despite what I thought was going to be a pleasant weekend it didn't work out that way. Combination of both my dad and DH picking on me all weekend in very nasty ways. I was hanging on until last night. By then I was so upset I had a little cry before dinner. I never cry.

After DH left for band practice I walked down to the grocery store. I ended up getting a large bunch of grapes as my consolation food - a good thing yes? But DH had enough junk food in the house that my resolve gave way and I ate a bunch of that after the grapes to quell my anger and sadness.

Didn't work. My dad leaves tomorrow - I can endure his carping as I know it will end.

But DH is now balking at sending our landlord the rent cheques. If I do it there will be a big fight. If I don't we could lose this place, the last bargain accomodation in Toronto it seems.

Let's hope he calms down today. I'm getting really tired of being the communal whipping boy.

My weight this morning really doesn't seem to matter much in the big scheme of things - not even going to bother getting on the scale.

Things can only improve today - I'll keep telling myself that and carry on.

Dagmar

dagmar, sorry things are not going well.

Dagmar, sending you peace and strength. It's a new week!

Hugs DAGMAR

Angie and I, and the HERicane planted our garden yesterday! Talk about being behind, but with the remodel project and that GRANDdaughter2 coming along this spring we are a little behind.

At least the frost won't set in until....ah...hummm...

well, OK...we can plant year round here.

Be good

Bill, your heron rookery sounds wonderful. We had one on state lands right near the village where I grew up (and where I am temporarily residing through my apartment renovation). Same type of locale: A swamp, standing water, lots of tall dead snags. Or at least it was like that through my adolescence. Over the years, the dead trees fell down, because nature is like that & land never stops changing, until the water was open. Now, on the island in the middle of the open water, there's a bald eagle nest which provides a lot of the same viewing pleasure as the rookery once did.

I'm writing this from the desk at a rather nice Hyatt where I'm staying while I attend training sessions at my company headquarters, where I used to work three days a week. Okay, this is superficial of me, but I like how the desk clerk lit up on seeing my company affiliation and gave me a VIP card. Because my company has a discount here & this hotel is a Preferred Provider for travel arrangements. It's really nice, the lifestyle that a corporate affiliation and the ability to expense things can enable you to afford, at least temporarily. It could even be addictive. I suppose it's a kind of compensation for being separated from your family, your home, your routine and all the things you really care for. (I am reminding myself of the early part of the movie "Fight Club.")

My tour of my apartment yesterday gave me a lot of hope. The contractor met me there. He says it will take three weeks for him to finish. Yes, he said three weeks.

Three weeks.

I should be overjoyed but I have mixed feelings. My apartment is going to look better than it did before, but I have to get used to it all over again, and I have to convince myself I am safe there. My fellow residents of the other 23 flooded apartments must be going through similar emotions, because I'm told that at least five of the apartments are currently on the market and the residents never want to set foot in them again. A lot of people at the building complex are upset by so many having listed their apartments. The glut devalues their own holdings. And our apartment complex has a reputation as a Very Nice Place That Doesn't Just Accept Anyone. Which is in danger if all the rats abandon ship at once. But hey, the minute the flood hit, everything changed.

So I was walking through the empty rooms, the dusty floors, pencil marks and fingerprints on the recently installed crown moldings, the upheaval in the bathroom with the toilet in the tub and the hexagonal tile laid out but not grouted, my lack of a bathroom sink, the wires coming out of the ceiling. I am trying to feel optimistic. I am trying to feel like this can once again become a home with all the connotations that implies of feeling safe, enclosed, nurtured and comfortable.

Dagmar, babe, to heck with these men in your life. To heck with propitiating them and arranging everything around them. What do you want for yourself? That's your ultimate responsibility. Your own happiness. You can't make them happy. Neither of them sound as though he is essentially happy, so I don't think you'll be able to do it. Not even with a masters in social work and the ability to dispense drugs. Consider yourself first. Which also means being kind to yourself. That kindness really does not include junk food. You need a Safety List of Extreme Kindness Measures that you can turn to when you are crying and all your efforts seem to be for naught.

I talked with my Dad yesterday. He seems to be enjoying a rather social social life. Parties here and there to which he's ferried by this neighbor or that. What concerns me is that he's STILL driving. He said he's going to church today to help move furniture as they're having new carpet installed. Yes, I said he's going to help move furniture. He's 90. Uses a cane. Can barely shuffle around at times and he thinks he can move furniture. More than anything, I think he's going to be in the way. But what can I say?

That's too bad about all the apartments up for sale, saef. But I'm glad you will soon be moving back home.

Dagmar~what's the reason your DH doesn't want to pay the rent? I'd be afraid of eviction!

SAEF those sound like very minor projects to finish your apartment...

although I hope your tub is protected with something with the toilet in it, you sure don't need any scratches. I'm sure it's just there until the tile is grouted and sealed...and of course I know you know that...

the guys are just there to make it an apartment/house...

you will make it a HOME...

sounds like you are well on the way to doing that with your new (old) purchases!

Allison, I think your Dad wants to feel useful. No one wants to think they can't contribute anymore.
Dagmar,I was curious , about the rent check, too. I would think that expense would be a priority.

Morning everyone! I had a pretty good weekend - we stayed up too late last night watching movies so I'm a little tired, but otherwise good. My throat is a little scratchy and my eyes itch so I took some allergy medicine that I just realized it two years out of date. Hoping it doesn't do bad stuff.

Bill - your weekend sounds lovely. I don't have any peas in my garden, but did harvest some tomatoes, jalapeno and a spicy cajun bell pepper. I have a zucchini that should be ready today or tomorrow I think.

Dagmar - I'm so sorry about the strife in your life right now. Also wondering about the rent check? Does he refuse to pay his expenses often?

Gary - love the pics that you've been putting up!

Saef - I can see your apartment in my mind as you describe it, I'm glad that it is so close to finished. You will make it your home again and feel safe there, though it may take some time. I'm sorry so many of your neighbors are moving. That will make it hard for everyone else for a while.

Allison - I bet your dad mainly watches the furniture moving and helps people figure out where to put things. He'll have a great time.

Good day everyone!

We are renewing our lease for 2 years so we have to send a year's worth of cheques to the landlord by July 1, which is when the new lease kicks in. DH has been the one who sent the cheques and I paid him with separate cheques.

The last 2 times we renewed the lease DH and I went through the should we stay together or separate conversation. This is a regular thing for us - he hates this neighbourhood etc. etc.

I am staying for the next two years (hope to eventually buy the house if I can) so would be more than happy to send the cheques and have him pay me. But he doesn't trust me having that much power or something.

ARRRGH! It will all get sorted out as it always does. I just have my dad harrasing me before he leaves (usually he's gone by now) so that was the additional thing that tipped me into mode.

Dagmar

Dagmar, is that a Canadian thing to give the landlord a years worth of checks ? In the US we just give them a check every month.
I think if my name was on the lease I would give them the checks and have SO reimburse me. If he doesn't want to do that maybe it is time for him to seek other accomadations.

Good morning all,
I love the support of my new little maintenance community! Thanks for your kind and welcoming words everyone. Congratulations to those of you who are already harvesting veggies from your gardens. Wow!! I'm not a gardener but I do eat zillions of vegs.

Busy thread already today!

Hugs to you Dagmar. I hope things look better for you.

Allison-- I'm sure your dad just wants to feel like he's helping. I can picture him shuffling around with his cane. I know that when I was just in New York, I kept offering to drive but my 81 year old uncle (with a cane and recent back surgery) wouldn't let me. He is a terrible driver and my Aunt keeps yelling at him and correcting him. I am nervous about being in the car when anyone is driving, so it was particularly unnerving for me. I sat in the back and played games on my phone (and prayed).

Busy weekend for me. Dh finally came back after three weeks gone. He is sick and jetlagged. And too stubborn to see a doctor. He says it is "just a cold" but I think he has asthma with it. He says he'll see a doc tomorrow if he isn't better but I don't believe him. Thursday and Friday nights were my dd's last two choir concerts. They are all so talented and it was bittersweet like everything else lately. Saturday (when dh came back) I realized I probably had a bladder infection-- I've only had a few in my life and I don't really get symptoms so I suspect this one may have been there a LONG time-- so I had to go to an open clinic. Got on antibiotics and think they are working. Saturday and Sunday I went to Bikram Yoga-- felt good as I haven't been in a couple of weeks-- am quite sore now from all of the extreme stretching though. Yesterday, dd had a senior "inspirational ceremony" that her choir sang at so we went to that and went out to eat after. Even with the bikram yoga (plus a 90 minute walk with dh) my weight is up. I'm really trying to get my weight down a bit before I go to Florida with dh in just a few weeks.

The next several weeks are crazy busy. I work through next Wednesday, but the kids are done this Thursday. Today we have a staff kickball game-- versus the fifth graders-- so I'm wearing shorts and tennies to work-- feels weird! Dd has finals this week and lots of senior events, including graduation on Friday. Older dd comes into town Thursday night for the graduation, and leaves Saturday. Dh also leaves Saturday for another few weeks....sigh.... and returns in time for us to go to Florida. In between, dd and I will go to Arizona for her Freshman Orientation, so things are busy these days!

Off to inventory my 30,000 plus books in the library....

Hello to everyone else. May we all have a successful week!

Oh, I know my Dad wants to feel useful, and that's why I didn't say anything to him. But his being "useful" at times is quite dangerous. He still thinks he's quite capable of getting up on the roof to do work on his evaporative cooler!