My husband and I will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary in 9 days. He is the most amazing wonderful man, but here lately I have been feeling very emotionally disconnected from him.

We are both fighting our own battles and I feel sometimes that our focus is on our own health and well being instead of focusing on "us" as a growing couple.

It is frustrating at times to know what to do and what to say. I am on a journey to find myself so I wonder sometimes how I can expect him to understand me when I don't even understand me and where I am most days.

I am not sure what the purpose of this post was guess my mind was just rambling looking for an answer.

I have felt like this at times. I find that when I write an honest letter to him, he gets it. I am able to organize all of my thoughts into concise, clear statements without having to make him listen. He can read it, absorb it, contemplate it, whatever. It is just easier. Afterwards, he always writes me back or we talk. When I am scattered and confused, putting it all on paper makes it easier. Much like getting it out in this forum does. With no communication, there is no connection, and no reason to feel any link to the person. Communication is key!

Hi Smallsteps -- good for you for talking about this issue on the forum. Sounds like you and hub have been through some stressful time while you individually work on things. I agree with Brendis that maybe if you talk with him about it, he may be having the same thoughts. My hub and I have been through very similar times, and we'll have our 35th anniversary on the 28th! I always have to be the one who initiates discussion, but when I do he listens, and sometimes I find out that he's been concerned about some of the same issues that are on my mind too.

Hang in there!