I have hit my lowest (heaviest) point and it is a struggle to even want to attempt to do anything. But here I am.

I had found Quik trip one day at a little after three... I was already thoroughly addicted to their 32 ounce styrofoam cups of white cherry icees when I noticed their donuts get marked down at 3.... Needless to say, my days were filled with icees and donuts... I QUICKLY threw on at least 20 pounds.... Like in DAYS. Sugar is soooo hard for me.

Tomorrow will be a week since I started being very conscious of my food intake. I have not had a donut or an icee in over a week. I count my calories and I have walked everyday, started at 1.2 miles, to now walking between 3 and 4.

I am a student, prone to sitting on my butt all day.

I SUCK at eating... I regularly will go a whole entire day forgetting to eat or drinking anything. I only realize it when my head starts throbbing. Then I eat garbage because I am too lazy to cook a meal. My old man gets on me for not eating. My friends tell me I should set an alarm. I am getting better. I am trying to eat something every 3 hours or so.

Speaking of my old man though, it's like he is acting like I am punishing him by watching what I eat. I have told him I would appreciate not having things like ice cream in the house because I have no self-control, but he is taking it to extremes, like whining to me that he can never have a donut again. I am like, go get one, just don't buy a pack of six and leave them at the house. It's all very weird.

We are getting married in September of next year.... I want to feel pretty on my wedding day... Not like a fat pig who can only fit in two of the dresses off the rack. I think dealing with the self-hatred is the hardest for me right now. Like, how did I let myself get this way AGAIN? I have been on this rollercoaster since I was 18...

Wow, I think that's it. Thanks!

Welcome to the forum. You will get a ton of support on this site.
I would recommend finding a food plan that you can follow long term and one that includes allowing yourself a treat now and then.
Wishing you all the best on your weight loss journey!

Welcome stormiedae! Us tall chicas have to stick together I feel you pain, I really do.

I know that rollercoaster, and I understand there's not exactly a height requirement. Even if there were it would suck for us

Don't lose hope. I understand your SO is giving/getting grief because you decide to get healthier. I take it as a challenge that I have family that enjoy desserts, and I deny myself them. It's definitely not an easy task to undertake.

I too am in a position where I sit all day. It's easy to take in all kinds of crap food and not consider it. It's very hard to stand up/sit down at work and not consider the lack of exercise.

I'm glad you came to the board. I'm fairly new myself and I've found nothing but support here.

Thanks guys!
I had a craving for a greasy fast food breakfast sandwich this morning and I absolutely had the opportunity. I texted my SO telling on myself, and he said something like "go ahead! But you have been doing so well!" That was nice.

I have been continuing my exercising and watching my food.

I am just soooooo tired. When will that go away?