Hey everyone! Im starting a diet/workout plan tommorow 4/30/2012 and every time i start one I end up eating horribly and back to my old ways Ive been trying to lose 20lbs for about a year now and it just doesn't happen! please help! what keeps yall motivated and I could use support buddies! I feel fat unattractive and unconfident! please help summer is around the corner and I just wanna feel confident and sexy.

Honestly? It was my boyfriend. But we broke up 2 weeks ago. So now I'm doing this for me. I want tattoos. He hates them. I always wanted them. I want to feel sexy. And I'm doing this for me now.

hey kassie, sorry to hear you broke up with your boyfriend now more than ever you should feel motivated to better yourself for you so, your ex will realize what he lost. Summer is is almost here girl, and we need to feel sexy! so, lets do this! ... I dont want to make excuses it only takes one hour min to just work out!

At the end of the day...nothing really. I just don't think too hard and just maintain my habits no matter how wretched I feel. I kind of turn into a zombie, and sometimes I talk about how I sad I am, but the one thing I don't let it affect is my calorie deficit. I don't really obsess over pretty clothes, or how I will look in them. I just focus on just my eating and activity, and I try not to think about my goal body. I tell myself that I would be health conscious even if it won't make me look different. This mindless method I guess sounds like a miserable way of doing things, but its been OK so far-when times are hard, it can be tough to go on, but I just zone out and keep going. The nice thing is that weight loss isn't really a brain thing-like I couldn't use this method studying for a test because thats a mental exercise, but with weight loss, its just physical, so miserable or happy, my body still burns the cals.

if you always end up back in your old ways, just start slow. change one thing at a time, if that helps. try not to restrict everything you once enjoyed, because you'll go nuts..we all would!

anyway..what motivates me is looking good in a bikini. and finally, finally buying clothes without wrestling in the dressing room, hiking up my pants to cover my belly and just being exhausted and drained. i'm also a few years away from 30 (omg) and i know that it is important to stay active and strength train if i don't want to take a nosedive into flab city soon...

@ pixelllate- I like your input, I might have to try that... instead of focusing on picturing how my goal body will look like, I need to remind myself that it is about health! Thanks!!

@ valalltogether- that is great advice! but I feel like it go slow then it will take FOREVER to lose weight! I hate that feeling in the dressing room trying to squeeze into pants because I don't want grab the next size up because it makes me feel fat!! lol Summer is around the corner and I would like to look good in a bikini! :/

I quoted you so I wouldn't miss anything

I think the key is to take it ONE DAY AT A TIME! Or if that is too hard, one hour at a time. **** even one minute at a time! In otherwords, if you fall off the wagon and eat say a donut, don't use that as a reason to abandon ship. Just 'choose' to not indulge the next 10 minutes. Sometimes the thought of eating healthy and exercising for the long haul can seem over-whelming. IF that is the case...don't think that way! Just think "What am I doing to do today to take good care of MYSELF and treat my body good?"

I also think it is very important to do a cupboard/fridge purge. Be brutal! Anything unhealthy goes out the window! That way, when moments of weakness strike...you only have healthful options!

Keep apples around for when you crave sweets....pop some almonds in a bowl when you crave chocolate....rice cakes when you want to watch some TV with chips. Sparkling water when you want pop (you get the idea).

You can do this!!!! The longer you eat healthy the less you want unhealthy foods.

Oh and the swear word they omitted was "H" "E" double-hocky sticks. Not the F word!!! I just saw that they omitted it and it makes it look more scandolous than I meant LOL

oh mmr trust me.. i "started" this in january and i've lost about 10-11 lbs. i feel ashamed just saying that because it seems so pathetic. but i truly believe i'll never see those lbs back because i'm making a lifestyle change. and it's HARD to change your lifestyle. I've tripped up a lot of times and gone off plan. i'm looking forward to really concentrating and accelerating my weight loss through to summer.

but the main point is, they say that 2lbs/week is the most you should really be losing to avoid a yo-yo situation. you don't magically wake up one day just fat. it takes time to gain weight. you also won't wake up one day magically thin. it's gonna take time to lose it, too...

fyi i use myfitnesspal and it really helps me track my calories. plus you can add friends and see what they are up to and even what they are eating, too. it keeps me accountable.

@ pepino-You are so right, You said "if you fall off the wagon and eat say a donut, don't use that as a reason to abandon ship." I do that all the time... like after eating something bad I just quit! Thanks for the encouragement!! I will definitely be cleaning my fridge and pantry out.. LOL @ omitted "H" E" double hockey sticks! your silly!

Someone on another post said something to the effect that you don't lose weight to get healthy, you lose weight by getting healthy. To me, that means developing healthy habits, like eating more whole foods, clean foods, drinking more water, getting more movement and fresh air. There's lots of possibilities in the exercise category & my biggest challenge was finding something I enjoy doing, instead of avoiding doing what I didn't enjoy.

Ultimately, my motivation is wanting to be happy with myself, the choices I make for myself and my quality of life.

@ valalltogether- dont be ashamed that you only lost 10-11lbs since january atleast you lost something, I know sometimes its hard to stay on track and you fall off. I know its going to take time! I guess i just have to work hard to keep it up!.. Thanks for the advice: " lose two pounds of week max to avoid the yo-yo situation." (hate the yo-yo situation) Im going to try fitness pal... Keep up your weight lost too! Lets bring our sexy back for the summer ladies! Lol

@ Exhale15- I love that "you don't lose weight to get healthy, you lose weight by getting healthy." I think you are right! Im going to have to try to develop healthy eating habits! Thanks!!

I keep going, because what's the alternative?

To start eating junk and feeling like crap and putting on weight? No thanks! Time will pass no matter what I do. I can commit to being healthy and lose some weight, even if it's a slow process... or I can throw up my hands because it's not happening fast enough, and pack it back on!

All I know, is that in 3 years it won't matter if I found the magical miracle diet cure and lost 100 lbs in one week... if I've somehow managed to pack it all back on afterwards. What will matter is that I have changed my life and habits to a degree that maintaining a healthy weight is not something I have to struggle with, it just happens .