Trying to struggle through the day/week/month on low calories can make binge foods seem like a release or what ive found hard to trying to eat without trying to suppress feelings which I can do but when food is handed to me I get so nervous and feel like i need to get rid of it, so i plan before hand, and eat before I go somewhere because im at the point where I want to taste that food but if I rely on it to fill me up that will be way too many calories and make me feel bad.
But I do NOT save up my calories for an outing, its better to eat higher amount of calories of good food that is not a trigger food than eating a really restricted amount of food that will cause stress and cause you to feel like snapping.
1200 calories does not work for me long term, 1400 is even too low 1600 is hard to accept, 1800 makes me nervous
.. and then I eat 1300 calories for two weeks and binge on 3000 calories make no sense, I've tried relieving some of the cravings by buying one portion size of something or moving myself away from food at parties and making sure I am not hungry at them, was at a workshop, we went out for coffee and I was not expecting that there were lots of nice cookies I never buy and I couldnt get coffee as it was so busy I was planning on that coffee to distract me from the cookies so i sat down I was hungry and I thought okay il have two, that is a normal portion.. one chocolate cream and one chocolate wheat.. and then there was a vanilla type of crunchie cookie so i needed to have that to get rid of the chocolate taste but then I didnt like it so I had a chocolate digestive that i did like, then finally got my coffee and was tempted to get another cookie with my coffee but i resisted..
I cant believe all these people saw me eat four cookies when only some of them took one, oh look the fat girl eating everything, il never forget the time I was called a fat b.tch for taking the last slice of pizza someone else wanted
