I hear you! I'm a strict calorie counter too so I've tried to pick up tricks whenever possible...
When I'm feeling mentally hungry but don't need to or can't eat that doesn't change what's going on in my head! Best ways to help is to satisfy it!
If I can think of a busying activity I can jump into I run for it full speed-get my mind moving on other things! But when that isn't available or helping (expecially when it's linked to anxiety) I suggest you try my favorite trick
make some tea and drink it in the dark! Pick your favorite bag and put an extra one in if you wanna to get some rich flavor! Sit down in a quiet dark place and just breath in all of that moment. Taste every sip of the tea (calorie free!) and let yourself relax while you feed your mind hunger. You can add lemon or a little honey if you need something extra for your taste buds but as a binger and emotional eater who is constantlyyyy mentally hungry this works every time <3
Hope you're feeling better!